"It's muh'fuckin lotto tiiiiime, god damn it! Let's shoot up and blow big!"

"Alright playas welcome back to the chronicles of ME as I get set to team up with Vita to take out those two fuckin' losers Tristan Slater and Jimdick Jagoffboy or whateverthefuck his got dayum name is! It's not bad enough I need to step in the ring with those two stupid fuckin' dorks, but I need to go in there with a woah-man! THEY TEAMED ME WITH A FUCKIN WOAH-MAN! Now I'll tell you right now I don't need no woah-man in my life or in my corner! My daddy taught me a long time ago to never rely on a woah-man for anything a man can do better! Yet low and behold here we are with me teamed up with a freakin' woah-man! This fuckin' sucks!"

"I'm standing right here."

"Woahfuck! Uuuuooh yeeeah I know, I know. I was just testing you is all."

"Testing me how, exactly?"

"Well I can't just give you all the fuckin' details or it wouldn't be a test now would it?"

"Anyway as I was saying people, I'm fuckin' stoked about teaming up with a hot chick and I really wanna see if the two of us can beat the ever living pissbags out of Slater and Jericho."

"Jimson."

"Huh???"

"Jim Jimson. I've told you this several times now."

"You said we were facing The Tristan Slater!"

"Ugh. We ARE! But we're also facing Jim Jimson."

"How the fuhhhck? I mean that's two first names and a son. So it's like Jim had sex with Jim and had a son."

"You know what, if that's the way you need to think of it to remember it, you do that. He'll just be an afterthought soon enough anyway though."

"Bruh, I'd sure hate to have two first names that fuck each other and have a son. Imagine how many times that boy must have had his stinkin' head dunked in the shitter. Fuckin' loser. Dur uh re ree look at me my name is Amjetkun Amjetkunson! See isn't that fuckin' stupid as all hell? What the fuck!"

"This is something that we TOTALLY agree on. Vita Vitason? Um, NO THANK YOU! But is it really any worse than throwing 'THE' in front of your name in some desperate attempt at sounding important? Imagine if Jim was as desperate to be relavent as Tristan Slater? The Jim Jimson!" VV pauses for Amjetkun to laugh at her very clever and hilarious joke. He's just staring blankly. "Well they're both still stupid names!"

SCENE!

Amjetkun Path Maker Socio The Great Oath Breaker of the Heavens and Hells walks into the kitchen to find Vita eating a piece of pizza.

Socio: Sup playa? Where the fuck the oats n' shit at brohbroh?

"Where do you think they would be?" She rolls her eyes before continuing. "Duh, the pantry?"

"Bro don't get a fuckin' attitude with me how the fuck am I s'posed to know this shit? I just keep all my shit out in the open so I don't forget where it is. I don't play these hide n' seek kitchen games you people all play. Fuck. Now I have to guess where the milk is!"

He starts looking in random drawers for the milk, slamming them shut. He marches quickly to the bathroom to look.

Vita buries her face into the palms of her hands.

"Oh muh GAAAWWD!" She lets out a sharp frustrated shriek. "Why are you even still here?"

Hurrying back in after finding no milk in the bathroom, Amjetkun lets out a sigh of frustration and taps his watch. "Ok so time management is one of the things we need to work on bro because in the time it took you to act stupid you could have told me where like 8 different milks were hidden so I can get my lactation on."

VV sits up straight, palms on the table and closes her eyes as she takes a deep breath.

"Sorry bro", eye roll. "Check the fridge."

Socio just stares at her, blankly.

She takes a bite of her pizza and chews, trying to just act casual and cool to the fact that he's still just standing there staring at her.

...

...VV chewing

…

…

…

...VV swallowing

…

…

…

...silence...

…

…

…

And that scene slowly fades out.


4 seconds pass.

A new scene is upon us!

Vita is enjoying some peace and quiet.

The door bursts open and scares the shit out of Vita!

"AAAAH! Don't you knock? I'm in here!"

Amjetkun is bouncing in place, holding his ass.

"Bitch I need to shit get the fuck off the pot!"

More screams fill the air as he starts grabbing at her naked body and yanks her off the toilet, sending her spinning out of control right out the door. Amjetkun sits his ass down and POW!!!! Let me just say we're all very lucky he got Vita out of the way in time. Holy shit, dude. Whatever this guy's eating sure gives him some serious firepower if you know what I mean. Oh and the smell. Don't even ask about the smell.


Finally this scene fades out.


A few minutes pass.

A new scene opens up!

Amjetkun Socio loads so many cases of drinking water and protein shakes into the shopping cart that there's no room left for ANYTHING else.

Vita glares at him. Her cart has also been loaded with his water and shakes.


This scene fades out just in time.


A half hour passes.

The next scene arrives!

Amjetkun has his arm stuck in the toilet and is screaming for help but Vita isn't home.


Scene ends as abruptly as it started.


A few days pass.

A brand new scene!

Amjetkun Socio is running through Vita's gym on fire, screaming for help. Vita hears him and quickly grabs a fire extinguisher and puts him out! Smoke is still rising up off of his body as Vita just stares at him with the biggest "dude just what the fuck" look you could ever imagine.


Camera zooms in on Vita's face and then fades out.


Unknown amounts of time pass.

The new scene is here!

Vita opens her fridge and sees an envelope with her name on it laying flat on the top shelf. She grabs the corner of it and gently pulls it up, letting the syringes all slide off of it. She opens it up and it's a card from Amjetkun Socio!

The card says on the front "What do friends?"

And on the inside it reads "Save each other lifes! Thank you Vita for being my friends."

It has a picture of a moose hugging a deer.

"That's from me."

Vita is startled by Amjetkun's voice coming out of nowhere and he laughs.

"Haha, I got that card for you and made it myself. You saved my life that day I was on fire."

Socio goes in for a big hug and squeezes Vita so hard her eyes almost pop out of her skull.


That scene fades.


It feels like years pass.




It was one of those days where Vita thought it should be perfectly safe after a good workout to walk up the steps and head to the kitchen, but what did she see as soon as she started up the stairs?

Oh fuck.

Amjetkun Socio!

Carrying a huge ass bowl, so big that he almost has to hug the damn thing and he sure can't see where he's going!

He's about to come down the stairs!

Oh shit, what's that steroid needle doing on the step?!?!?

NO!

He's going to step on the needle!

Vita freezes and her eyes widen like a deer in the headlights as it's like the scene moves in slow motion with Amjetkun's foot coming closer and closer to that fucking needle his dumb ass left on the step!