At Warfare, Robbie Bourbon and Bearded War Pig get together again as the Motherfuckers.

It's been a long time. Too long. A crazy amount of time.

SHOCKING NARRATIVE

We open to see Robbie Bourbon strapped to a chair, having electricity run through his brain. His eyes look like they want to jump out of their sockets with every flick of a switch perpetrated by a man in a lab coat.

You are doing fine, Robbie, just fine. Just relax, we are getting incredible results here.

Robbie looks at the man in the lab coat with sheer venom in his eyes. The rubber stopper in his mouth shakes as Robbie mumbles something that winds up completely muffled against the gag, generally intended to prevent him from biting his own tongue off but also preventing him from uttering a word.

Now, now, Robbie. This is for your own good.

The man in the lab coat cranks a dial on the console attached to the wired apparatus stuck on Robbie's cranium. Robbie's body writhes as his eyes go wide. In a moment, the man in the lab coat turns off the switch, and Robbie's body goes limp, his eyes shut...

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Somehow, we see a field.

In the field is a playground, and standing in the middle is Robbie Bourbon.

Robbie looks around, and decides to sit on one of the swings. He pushes off and starts to swing, back and forth. As he does, suddenly, both Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, and Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd, are beside him in their own swings.

Hey boss.

Yo.

Oh, hey guys, long time no see.

Yeah, we know.

When are going to play again?

What's the next mission.

Robbie shakes his head 'no' as the three swing in unison.

Mission? Was that even real or just something I did for XWF TV?

I dunno.

No clue.

The three are silent for a moment, and suddenly both the swings occupied by Cyberjaw and Diamondback are empty. The swing set collapses as Robbie lands with a thud on the gravel below. He slowly stands, rubbing his hind quarters and surveying the damage he caused playing on the swings. He shrugs and turns, and sees a roller coaster.

Oh, cool!

Robbie walks up to the entrance of the ride. As he does....

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The man in the lab coat is shining a flashlight into Robbie's eyes. Robbie stirs.

Oh, still with us, Robbie?

Robbie glares back at the man in the lab coat. He looks to the side, and there is a window between this room and a hall. In the hall, orderlies and prisoner/patients watch. The orderlies seem to be having a jovial conversation regarding the happenings to Robbie Bourbon's person, whereas the poor souls trapped in this place seem bleak. The man in the lab coat returns to the console.

Ready for another round?

Before Robbie can react, the man in the lab coat flips the switch, and Robbie convulses as his brain is fried again.

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We see Robbie seated on a roller coaster. There are no other passengers on the ride itself, and the sight of a barren roller coaster save one rider is somewhat surreal. When is the last time you went to a theme park or anyplace with roller coasters and there was nobody there? Imagine being someplace that is usually crowded, and it isn't. A shopping mall, a grocery store, a hospital, and the sheer solitude of being someplace so grand yet empty, the strange sounds of things settling, fluids moving through pipes, or even ventilation systems amplified due to the lack of the ambiance of humanity itself. Every ratcheting sound of the roller coaster cars just that much louder as it is carried uphill to begin the ride. Suddenly, beside Robbie, is Blue, Robbie's on again, off again, on again, off again, on again, and now definitely off forever ex-girlfriend seated next to him.

Hey honeybear.

Oh, hey, you're back!

As Robbie turns to look at Blue, she vanishes. The roller coaster train reaches the apex of the track, and shoots downward. Robbie looks nonplussed as the train plummets, and rounds a bend. As it does, Blue reappears.

We were awesome together.

Maybe.

I need space, though.

The roller coaster climbs another hill, then cascades into a loop. As the cars exit the loop, Blue disappears again.

I need peace of mind! You come, then you leave.

The cars go through a corkscrew, twisting and turning in ways to maximize the amount of g-force on the human body. The physics of acceleration dictate that it isn't just slowing or speeding up, but also direction that are definers. Automobiles have three acceleration devices, the gas pedal, the brakes, and the steering wheel. After the drastically sharp and unnatural turns for the human body to take, as expected on any good roller coaster, Blue is seated next to Robbie.

Yeah? Well, maybe if you were better I wouldn't have to leave!

Stop putting your hang ups, your issues, and your needs on me! I am sick of missing you! Stay out of my life!

As Robbie utters this, Blue vanishes, and the roller coaster structure begins to shift and tremble. The cars careen off of the rails as the frame of the roller coaster crumbles, destroyed, and Robbie looks on as he sails through the air strapped down in a bright red roller coaster car.

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The man in the lab coat appears to be washing his hands, and setting up a series of tools on a tray.

Oh, come back again, I see! Good, excellent. We are almost finished, Robbie. We need to remove all those weird and unpleasant thoughts from your head, you see.

Robbie blinks, and eyes the tools on the tray. What appears to be a pair of ice picks and a dainty looking hammer gleam ominously on a paper sheet intended to keep them sterile. The man in the lab coat smirks.

Oh? Do you like my orbitoclast? They are wonderful, titanium reinforced, and built to solve all those problems with your brain, Robbie! The disobedience, the rebellious nature, the need to be a rabble rouser, all gone. Your worries, your problems, all a part of a past after a simple procedure.

Robbie's eyes narrow while looking at the doctor.

Would you like to see how it's done? It's rather painless!

The man in the lab coat wheels out a monitor, and on it is a black and white security camera still of the room Robbie sits in. Robbie glances out of the window and sees the other people trapped here seem to be in line, waiting to enter this very room.

Oh, first, let's go ahead and see if you can take the full blast of our machine, first. You have been a wonderful test subject, Robbie. Strong. Resilient.

The man in the lab coat flips the switch.

Ultimately futile.

The man in the lab coat turns a dial as far as it will go until it clicks. A meter on the panel goes all the way into the red. Robbie seizes again.

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The roller coaster cars, shooting through the sky, sprout wings as Robbie floats through the clouds.

This is getting way too artsy fartsy for me, really.

Wait, are you aware these are dream sequences now?

Well, yeah, I am you, and you're me, one in the same, right?

Well, I guess.

Well, here we are, or I am, or whatever.

True.

Any visions incoming?

Well, yeah, this is some whack ass dream sequencing.

Cliche.

Yeah, a bit.

Do you think it's working?

What's working?

The cliche?

Maybe. The visage of Vinnie Lane appears in the clouds.

Like Mufasa?

Just like Mufasa.

Stop calling me Mufasa.

Oh, hey Vin.

Robbie, what are you doing?

I dunno.

Oh, well, okay. Cool. As long as you're okay with that.

I am not.

That sucks.

The visage in the clouds shifts to show Pest.

Shit, why?

Well, I dunno, why not?

Robert, your struggles with internal dialogue are astounding.

It's no struggle, you creep!

Creep? Robert, is that any way to greet an old friend?

You're no friend of mine. You are another part of my past, like everything I have come across, that is destroyed. Done. Finito.

The cloud dissipates, and Robbie is soaring higher and higher in the winged roller coaster train car, through the stars. Past Saturn. Outside of the Milky Way. Viewing all of the XWF Universe. Seated next to Robbie now in the car is a girl, some six years old, wearing glasses, excitedly viewing the Universe.

Wow, Robbie! This is cool! Are you going to destroy it now?

Robbie looks at the little girl.

Why would I?

The little girl giggles.

Why else do you destroy and wreck things, Robbie? It's so we can build new things! Imagine all the cool new things that are going to happen!

Robbie, for the first time in what seems like eons, smiles.

Cool new things? But, I'm only one man, and I am alone.

The girl giggles.

So? One person can make all the change the world needs, every person makes all the change the world goes through. Whether they make a change for good or bad, well, that's on them. And you are definitely not alone.

The little girl vanishes. As she does, Robbie is no longer in a roller coaster car. He is surrounded by all manner of horrific looking creatures. Demons, devils, vampires, things that are the stuff of nightmares. Robbie cracks his knuckles.

Looks like I am not done wrecking yet.

With that, Bearded War Pig is behind Robbie, and the two men, back to back, prepare to fight off all comers in a cruel and unjust existence.

Oink, oink, motherfucker!

Uh, the cow goes moo!

The monsters surrounding the duo stop dead and look at Robbie with disapproval.

That was not good.

I know, I wanted to be thematic.

Just be...

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Robbie looks around in astonishment. The man in the lab coat looks overjoyed.

Great! Even at our highest settings, you survived! Well, up until now.

The man in the lab coat rolls the cart with the tools for a frontal lobotomy on it towards Robbie. On the monitor in front of Robbie, we see a similar sight, with the man in the lab coat sticking the orbitoclast in through someone's eye socket, then with a few taps from a hammer and a twirling motion, completing a lobotomy on some helpless victim. Robbie makes muffled sounds with the rubber stopper still in his mouth.

Oh, you wish to say something?

Robbie looks through the window at the queue of people ready to enter the room and receive similar fate.

Oh, them? They're useless to us, Robbie.

The line is comprised of men, women, and children. The elderly.

They're dreamers, Robbie, like you. The world has no place for them, not anymore. The ideal citizen regurgitates what they've seen, and the creators should be under our control to dictate what is beautiful, what is freedom, what is right, and what is good.

Robbie's focus shifts to a little girl, sobbing in the hall. Another patient/prisoner/victim, a woman appearing to be well over 65, reaches towards her, most likely to console her, and an orderly swiftly grabs their arm and slams her against a wall. Robbie turns and looks calmly at the man in the lab coat, and one brief muffled sound happens. The man in the lab coat rolls his eyes.

You can keep trying but it won't help.

Robbie makes the same muffled sound again.

Fine, fine, you wish to speak? One last request before you don't have to worry about emotions or expression anymore?

The man with the lab coat removes the rubber stopper from Robbie's mouth. Robbie looks at him.

What were you trying to say?

Robbie grins.

My left hand.

What about it?

The man in the lab coat glances at Robbie's left hand. As he does, Robbie breaks the woven polyfiber strap and throws a thumb to the man's eye. Orderlies see what is happening and begin to rush the room. As they do, Robbie frees his other hand with the left, then frantically undoes the straps around his ankles. By the time the orderlies are in the room, Robbie is on his feet. The first orderly to get there makes the mistake of being the first, and with a thunderous right, Robbie shatters the man's nose and he drops to the ground. Two more orderlies rush in, and Robbie grabs each by the opposite ear and knocks their skulls together, temples first, dropping them. Three more orderlies halt in shock, but Robbie has picked up the surgical tray, spilling the implements of lobotomy to the floor, and hurls it at one, hitting him square in the jaw and leaving him on the ground. The other two orderlies run out of the room in terror, the monster they thought they could control unleashed.

Robbie walks over to the man in the lab coat.

You can't stop us! You hear me? Your best bet is to lay back down and take it!

Robbie hoists the man in the lab coat as a commotion erupts outside in the hall. Patients fighting back against the corrupt orderlies through the window. Robbie places the man in the lab coat back in the chair, then lets the knuckles of his right hand brush the man's cheek. The man in the lab coat reaches up and holds his jaw as blood and teeth pour out of it.

You, you shun-of-a-bitsth! My teef!

No, no, not son-of-a-bitch.

Robbie jams the shock therapy crown down the front of the man in the lab coat's pants.

I'm a motherfucker.

Robbie then turns to the control panel and flips the switch. At maximum voltage, the man in the lab coat's nuts begin to roast as he screams then passes out in agony. Robbie leaves the room. As he does, the snags a hapless orderly attempting to quell the unruly prisoners of this place.

I might not be able to rip this place apart brick by brick by myself...

He places the orderly's throat in the palm of his hand.

...I would need BWP to do that...

Robbie delivers a devestating choke slam to the orderly, complete with a sickening smack as his body hit the plain concrete floor.

...I will not let you hurt these people.