THE POWER COUPLE

Cause we’re a cut above average while everybody is beneath us!

The scene opens and cameras begin rolling somewhere in the backstage arena where this week’s Warfare is being held. Mark Brooks is sitting on a folded-out steel chair and rests his elbows on his knees with his head tilted down. He’s looking down at the floor and reaches his hand back up to his head. He adjusts the hat on his head and slowly lifts his head up. Brooks breaks his silence as he opens the scene.

Mark BROOKS: It sucks we are going to Limerick and all I have heard so far was gibberish! Did those Irish boys and girls really buy tickets for all this egocentric? I’m sure the Irish in Limerick were all expecting fights from top to bottom, but all they are going to get are iconic idiots! Blah, at least one thing is clear my opponent just may not show up at all. I guess his bailiwick did not include a plane ride to Limerick. It’s O.K. because I’m showing up and moving back into the Hart Championship title picture quite nicely. It’s like the era of the above average superstar never left XWF!

He holds up both his hands toward the camera. With one hand, three are his middle finger, forefinger, and pinkie held up. The other hand is his fist in the shape of a zero. He says very proudly, “the 3.0 bay-be!” He lowers his hands in front of him and begins twiddling his hands inside each other.

Mark BROOKS: Yes, yes, the one and only—the new face of professional wrestling and the superstar who is about to take a d-list show and make it GREAT again has come back to the Xtreme Wrestling Federation! I know, I know, where have you been Mark? Both you and your wife were headed for headlining status. You were on your way to the XwF’s top fifty! You were going to be stars! Well, life had another plan, but thankfully life has given us a second chance. A second chance for a glorious second run in the prominent XWF! So, do you really think I would refuse the opportunity to get back in the ring?

He shakes his head.

Mark BROOKS: Oh no, no, no! Right before the original XwF’s Power Couple left, I was cruising right for the Hart Championship and my wife had yet to revoke her rematch for the Bombshell’s Championship, which she still wholeheartedly deserves! My first match back is against some two-point zero loser reject from Sewanee, Tennessee and he is the only thing standing in my way of getting back in the Hart’s Championship picture. So, listen here you racist country redneck hick, I would suggest you step aside and let me continue to glide to my championship while you take a seat on the backburner! When it comes to the championship lifestyle, you don’t even have a clue on what it entails. All you know about is drinking your Jack Daniels and trying to figure out what happened to your beloved country music.

Mark grunts and shakes his head in disgust.

Mark BROOKS: I’ll be honest with you, hick boy: I was surprised to see some new faces on the roster. I thought the XWF was some sort of cult and only the elitist were welcomed. It’s good to see new faces; fresh meat to proclaim my dominance. I don’t have to be stuck with wrestling fat boy Peter Gilmour week in and week out but mark my word Peter—you and I have unfinished business. First, it’s all about the Hart Championship and putting Brian Snow on the inactive list, then I’m coming for you. I’m going to show you once and for all just why you’re bad for business. I’m all about setting a standard. We have so many superstars who allegedly feel they are worthily enough for title shots and champagne celebrations but looking at the ratings—they all fall short… way short. So short, they are below average! It’s time for me, Mark Brooks, to bring everything back up to where XWF belongs. The Above Average era will kick off for its second time on next week’s Warfare!

He holds his left forearm up and starts to tap his finger on the face of his wristwatch.

Mark BROOKS: You say that and you say that. You can hug a teddy bear and hopes he protects you from the dangers of this business. Brian, the truth is though buddy, you’re just not cut out to be champion. Save the Hart’s Championship for somebody who is made to be the center of attention. The championship needs to be on somebody who can stand the pressures of this company and welcomes any and all competition. If you do decide to show up, just know it’s not going to be pretty. I’m going to pull out all the stops to ensure my name is one of that’s needed to the match. I’m looking at my XWF’s rebirth like it never changed. Best of luck because buddy, you’re the one who is going to need it. But hey man, at least you were in a contender’s contenders match to find potential challenges for the Hart’s Championship. It just wasn’t your night, not when you’re stepping inside the ring with me.

He holds up both hands: one hand has three fingers held up and the other hand is in the shape of a fist.

Mark BROOKS: Cause you’re a cut below average and you’re stepping inside the ring with a perfect ten. Dude, it’s the Above Average Era in XWF and time for every below average to step aside. Go backstage and start jerking those curtains because you’re not ready for the big leagues, son!

He lowers his hands out in front of him and starts dusting them off. The scene fades to black.