Disclaimer: The Afterthought is a registered trademark of the SW Corp. Any use without express written consent is forbidden and subject to the full extent of the law. Like seriously. We will sue you. I don’t know how he keeps this damn show a float but he does. I know he’s got money, but not this much. I wonder where he’s been getting it all. Stealing? No not his thing. Drugs? Nah, he was more of a buyer. Curious. Anyways here’s the show.

A darker sounding muzak is heard the audience begins to clap and cheer as the ‘Applause’ light is illuminated. The spotlight jumps to the curtains, and after a few moments nothing happens. The camera begins to pan around the room, and there Fuzz is sitting at the desk with note cards in hand. The lights come up as the camera focuses on him.

“I’m not taking any chances this time. I’m starting with the guest. This way we all won’t miss anything. So ladies and gentlemen I give to you, the best thing from Australia since The Crocodile Hunter, Noah Fucking Jackson!!!”

The camera pans to the curtains, as the spotlights shine on the break. After a few moments of nothing happening, Fuzz gets up and walks towards the curtain and peels it back only to find a scared intern standing there with his hand over a phone.

“Seriously?”

The intern nods his head.

“Traffic? I thought he was already here?”

A simple shrug from the intern was all that was given.

“Fine. I’ll kill time but just let me know when he gets here.”

Fuzz steps back from the curtain and points for the mic to be put on the stage along with his water and an ashtray.

“It seems like Noah is running a bit behind and that’s ok. We can work with this. I mean I’m really the reason you are all here anyways. You all want to hear my thoughts and musings of today and out industry in general.”

Fuzz takes a sip from his water and gently places the glass down.

“It seems to me that Mastermind has been quite for a little bit and has left me no other option. I must destroy that Hot Topic shopping, bath salt smoking, incel from other mentions of me…. wait one damn minute. Did you seriously ask me to build a bridge and get over it? I’m sorry but there just aren’t enough hours in the day for that. First I’d have to go to college to get an engineering degree. Then I’d have to find a waterway that needed to be crossed. Then finance the whole thing. Honestly it’s a lot of work, but nah I’m more comfortable over here making you uncomfortable. I’ll stay right where I am.”

Fuzz takes another drink of water, and pulls out a cigarette. He lights it up, and sets it in the ashtray.

“I couldn’t help but notice you brought up the fact that you have a promo rated in the top 10? Well good for you. I hope you know a broken clock is right twice a day. Blind squirrels find nuts, you know all those cliches. Yet this only proves my point even more about you. You aren’t a Mastermind, you are nothing more than someone who had a great idea once, you harp on it, and even then copy and borrow from it. You are unoriginal, uninteresting, and uninspired.”

Fuzz picks up the smoke and takes a drag. He lets out a slight cough and continues.

“You bring up a one time achievement. Check the Top 50 of all time here in the XWF. I don’t see your name anywhere up there. Do you know who’s name is on there? I’ll give you a second to guess, and then furiously check. That’s right ME. It’s not a one off. No. That’s based on longevity, winning, and merit. You’re never going to be in my league, on my level, or in my way. I’m going to dispatch you quicker than Noah says cunt. Why don’t you go get your astrophysics degree just so you can finally see how far away from me you really are.”

Fuzz mimics a telescope and laughs to himself.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you are facing Lux for the TV title. Seriously best of luck to you. I know you’re going to need something to go right for you after the beat the living fuck out of you. I just hope for Lux’s sake that you clean yourself up. I mean it is a long flight from Fiji to North Dakota. You should be able to clean yourself up, and have a moment of self reflection.”

Fuzz holds his hands up in a prayer motion.

“God. It’s me Mastermind. I seriously for one second thought that I stood a chance against him. But he just kept wailing on me. He just didn’t stop. Over and over again. I couldn’t tell if he was bleeding or just covered in my blood. Thankfully they were able to stop the bleeding and I was eventually able to regain my consciousness. Why did I ever step into the ring with him? What’s wrong with me?

Fuzz then sets his hands down by his side.

“Listen Mastermind. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. See you claim to master people's minds. Well I’m the type of person that causes self doubt. I can and have already made you doubt yourself. Not to worry there is something you can do. Fight. I want you to fight tooth and nail. I want you blood and adrenaline to be pumping so fast that there won’t be anything to stop you….”

Fuzz gets a small smile on his face.

“Except for me. You’ll have all this pent up aggression, anger, and hate. You’ll forget all about everything that was said. All you’ll see is red and you’ll attack. Blindly and with no recourse. You won’t care what your hitting or what you’re not hitting. Yet before you realize it, you’ll be the one hitting the mat. Hard.”

Fuzz smacks his hands together making a loud “CLAP” that echoes throughout the room.

“I don’t care that this is for a contendership for the Hart title. Right now all I’m focused on is you. You claim to be focused on me, but Saturday can’t come soon enough for you. Match 100. Title on the line. Only just like tomorrow, you fail there as well. Just like you have failed over and over again here. Just to claim I’ve turned it around. That’s just the lie you tell yourself so you can fall asleep at night. I understand. I have bouts of insomnia as well. Mine were mostly drug induced, but seriously I feel your pain.”

Fuzz glances down at his wrist and lifts up his sleeve revealing, no watch.

“Would you look at the time? Still no sign of Noah, so I’ll just keep shoveling this shit on top of Mastermind. I actually like hearing myself talk. By now for you it has become like nails on a chalkboard.”

Fuzz looks around the room.

“Let’s continue then shall we. Mr. Midcard himself decided to accept the fact that he’s never been a top guy. And is ok with that. Seriously check it out. I understand knowing your place, but god damn man have some fucking stones. Tell me your better than me. Tell me you’re going to prove to everyone that you are better than me. Instead I get this pissant, dreaming of a better life but too much of a pussy to go out and actually do anything about it. That’s the difference between you and I. I know what I want to accomplish, while you sit there right in the middle without a care in the world. You’re probably going out to the movies to relax. After this I’m going right to the arena to get myself in the right headspace.”

Fuzz takes a deep breath and takes a sip of water.

“The pure fact that you call me an amateur is hilarious. Saying that I’ve stolen from anyone is laughable. You see when you are doing a talk show it’s not copying it’s called playing the demographics. People watch this junk and I’ll provide it to them. When I said you stole from me, what that meant was as soon as you saw that I had an audience you needed to run out and get one yourself. So next time you think you didn’t take from the pot, check again.”

Fuzz takes the mic off of the stand and walks over to the desk and sits down. He snaps his fingers and an American flag drops down from the ceiling.

“ If I had the time I would run for a political office. Hell I might run with Adian, yet I don’t have the time. I love it when people call me a liar and then have no actual proof. Where have I once lied to you? Not once. You couldn’t even point it out. Let me make one thing clear, I am no sheep and I am the big bad wolf, but unlike you I have never once been led to slaughter. I am not a follower. CCP asked me to be on his team, were we a team? Nope. Ask anyone worth a damn, I play by my own rules, and guess what you stupid fuck, you’re breaking all of them. The punishment? Another loss in the books for you, don’t worry you have plenty of them.”

Fuzz then stands up and salutes the flag before sitting down again.

“Wow I love how people take my words and add things to them, yet I’m the liar and politician. I never once said you didn’t do anything in those 99 matches, what I said was it’s not a big deal to get to 100. I understand that you are confused and that’s ok. I do have that ability to cause that in people. I know that you have won so many titles here. You ask me to do a history lesson? Why don’t I give you one really quick….

Former Universial Champion, 3x World Champion, 5 US Champion, 4x X-Treme Champion. Not to mention multiple time Star of the Month. So yes we did get those back in the day.

You want to talk accolades. Do your fucking digging before you question what I’ve done. This current iteration of the XWF is weak and stale. You are just one example of what’s wrong here. You claim in my day we only did one promo per rotation? Try again you fucking moron! It’s on the current website. There were
No such things as a two week promo cycle. There were no limits. There was 2 a day, and if you didn’t do that the good luck ever sniffing the upper mid card. So before you call out my generation think before you speak. Saying that I’ll never get to the top again is once again something you are all about. Cliches. Everyone since I have been back has said that. It’s been two fucking matches. Jesus Christ I wanted to do things the right way and work towards it, I didn’t want to be an Uber douche and throw clout around. So while I may not get there again, key word again, I can rest easy knowing that I have actually been there.”

Fuzz once again takes another deep breath and holds his head in his hands.

“ I’m done playing games with this fuckwit. You seriously think that I’m afraid of you or you pathetic promos? All you did was quote me. No wonder people are actually watching your drivel, I’m in them more than you are. My face is all over your promos because you are either A.) Too Stupid to remember what people have said about you. Or B.) Trying to pump up your views. So stop talking about me as if I’m not right there on your fucking screen. I don’t care that people quote me. I don’t even care if they take my words and twist them, what really pisses me off is a giant graphic with my face hovering over your promo with my words clearly printer for the world to see. I want you to realize no matter what happens at Warfare, you’ll never have my respect based on bullshit like that. You’ll learn soon enough that your fucking weak ass should’ve stayed retired.”

Fuzz looks at the clock.

“You can not be fucking serious? I once again spent too much fucking time on this asshole.Well No time for Noah, Fuck Off and goodnight.”

Fuzz waves at the camera as the camera fades to black.