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CM Punk · (06-07-2013)

A video camera laid upon the dash films the disturbing scene via live stream, as Punk lays back in a slightly reclined back drivers side chair, and Luke Gallows moans in pain through the duct-tape that lays upon his mouth in the back of the van. Punk looks back, smiles, and strikes him with the bottom of his boots right upon his forehead.

“That oughta even you out a bit, ey?” Punk smiles once more and his lip ring protrudes a bit more than usual out of his mouth, and blood begins to drip from the tiny bit of hole he has now left un-occupied in his mouth. Punk doesn’t notice at first, but as the blood makes its way down his chin and drips to his clothes, he takes notice, and pulls off his shirt. He begins to pull out his lip ring, causing more bleeding to come from the hole at a more steady rate.

He reaches in the glove compartment, finds a paper clip, and twists it to make two sharp ends. He sticks it into his former lip ring hole, gasps a little, then smiles. He pulls it out, and blood pours a bit heavier from the hole. Everything from his pectoral muscles and up is at least somewhat red from the blood, and Punk can only seem joyous of the events that have just transpired.

“You see, I’m a man with simple tastes. I like shiny things. But only because they get me things in life. You see, money or gold, for example, gets people or services or goods for me, and allows me to earn things that can help me down the line.” Punk rests the European title upon his shoulder and pats it with his left hand, looking down on it with a grin.

“But shiny things that can’t help me? I don’t like that….like money. Money can’t help me. So you know what I do with money? I send it to Luca, because that poor bastard obviously needs it. Hell, as much as he talks about not giving a fuck, he might need to start a campaign called ‘Luca doesn’t give a fuck’ with the money, just to convince people, cause I don’t think anyone is buying it. Try a little harder next time, and maybe someone might buy it…then again, you’re trying too hard already. So probably not.”

Punk looks around for a few seconds, then grabs the video camera and heads outside. He abandons the van entirely, and heads to the very top of the parking garage, which is completely abandoned in the middle of basically nowhere, albeit there are a few abandoned buildings around. Punk waves the camera around and begins to speak.
“This is exactly the same place as Luca’s promos tend to go! NOWHERE!” He steps on one of the barriers and is inches from falling to his death, but points the camera at the ground, then speaks again, “Look! Down at the ground! It’s imitating Luca’s promos! You can just hear the crickets chirping from the mind numbing

that came out of his, and his friends mouths.”

The camera is twisted around to a giggling, almost seemingly high CM Punk. He has a hand up at the camera as if he doesn’t want it to see him, (although he could just simply point it away) and is appearing as if he’s trying to get his laughter under control.

“You wanna hear a funny story, Paul? Cause I know.. I know you’ll be watching later. When this inevitably makes it on XWF.com or JimRoss.net or whatever sites there are, you’ll be watching. This is what I find funny. You let a little man, with a big mouth, intimidate you and let you think he’s something special because he has ‘friends’ and ‘money’ and he’s ‘good’. Let me explain something here Mr. Heyman, this guy is trying to threaten me with another man. First off, I’m not homophobic, and secondly, I don’t need some washed-up, has-been, telling me what is and isn’t an interesting topic. The only interesting murder around here is the murder of the art of not giving a fuck, committed by the ever so charming Luca. I mean, hell, approximately one invisible tie fix, two fake coughs, and one shitty production job because he’s ‘badass’, and he did it for ‘no fucking reason’, and I still think he’s trying harder than Paul Heyman tries to wiggle into his suit every morning.”

The camera shakes and Punk is seen bobbing his head back and forth, so one can assume he is walking. The van comes back into view, and Punk lays his title down by a concrete pillar, and the video camera by it, and re-enters the van. Punk shifts the van intro drive, checks on Gallows, and begins to speed rapidly towards the belt and the video camera. The video camera is the first to go, but its video cut-off with the audio remaining. The belt is heard crackling underneath the sounds of the tires afterwards.

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