Our scene opens up on a beautiful azure, sun kissed sky filled with fluffy white clouds and birds soaring high. In the distance there are very tall, snow capped mountains and beneath it all, an ocean vast and wide. The exact location is undetermined but that does not surrender the majestic nature of this impressive scenery. In fact if there were credits and a title presented in bold letters across the dead middle, it could be the opening to a film or the introduction sequence to some type of television show. Oh wait. What's that?

Hootie H. Hootie

That just appeared out of nowhere, sat in place for a few minutes and faded off into.....well nothing. It seems to have vanished as quickly as it appeared.

I Am......An Owl!

Wow. What's that now? Oh look. It's fading just as rapidly as the first thing did. That's interesting. Not really something you see everyday. Or at all ever in reality.

Fear me! Or suffer my WRATH!

How long is this going to go on? Welp there it goes. Off to wherever the rest of those mysterious, phantom floating words went. Hope this doesn't go on forever. Oh look! Over there! Off in the yonder way, somewhere near the horizon. Floating at the line where the sky meets the water. Gradually and regally, it bobs and floats through the air. Why, look at that! It's a hot air balloon. Bright red balloon, affixed atop a basket. Oddly it doesn't seem to be getting any bigger, really it must have not been as far off as originally conceived. No. The entire thing must only be a few inches tall and the width doesn't appear to be that much different. Suddenly! A tiny brown head pops up from the basket! Why it's Hootie! The tiny stuffed owl. Hello Hootie.

"Hello! Lovely day we're having, isn't it?"

So this is what it's like to be noticed, huh? Um. Yeah, sure Hootie but you shouldn't really speak to me, that's not allowed.

"Oh wow! Really? Darn it! I'm sorry."

It's okay Hootie.

"Why can't I talk to you?"

Because that's not how it's done.

"Why?"

Cause that's the way it is.

"Why?"

Hootie this is far too much notoriety for a narrator. You simply need to stop speaking to me. Okay?

"Oh alright. I have one more question though."

Fine. Ask it and be done with it already, you're supposed to be shooting a promotional video.

"Hehe. Right. Aren't I a stinker?"

Is that the question?

"Uh.....noooo, it's not."

Hootie!

"What???"

Ask your question.

"Yeah......I need to do that still, don't I?"

Well go on then.

"What? What do you want me to go on? I'm floating in a hot air balloon above an ocean. There's nothing for me to go onto. What do you want me to go on????? Ahhhh!!! Answer the question!!! Tell me!!!! Now!!"

Sigh. Just ask the question.

"Ummmmmm.....I forgot. Darn it."

Sigh.

"No. Wait. I remember."

"What's your name?"

What? My name? What the f***??? Are you really asking that? Well lets see Hootie, allow me to think for a moment. Hmmmm....I don't know. I don't think I have one. I've never been asked that question before. I'm a narrator, I narrate things and that's it. I don't normally have interactions like this.

"Why?"

I'm not sure. It isn't a thing that usually winds up happening.

"Can I give you a name?"

Sure.

"Yay! Your name is.....um.....Squishy!"

Squishy???? Really?? Fine. Whatever. Are we done?

"Okay. Wait. One more question."

Seriously?

"Last one.....I promise. PLEASE!"

Oh alright but it is the final question. I mean it.

"I understand."

Do you?

"No but I am nodding like I do. Is it convincing?"

Sigh. Ask the question, Hootie. Then I'm going to fade away and you are going to talk to your opponents for Saturday Night Savage.

"Where are you?"

Anywhere but here.

"Huh????"

I dunno. Everywhere. Nowhere. Somewhere in-between. I am only a voice, I have no body and now....I am gone. Goodbye Hootie.

"Bye Squishy!"

As I fade off into nothingness, Hootie waves frantically and almost falls out of her basket. But catches herself and topples back within it causing the thing to shake around violently. And now, I am really gone. Farewell.

"Hello everybody! Hi. I'm Hootie. Hi. I'm shooting a promotional video. I don't know what that is but I am doing it. Saturday I have my first fight. I'm fighting Big D and Snow in a wrestling match. Big D? Sounds dirty. His name is also Daniel so I am going to call him that instead."

"Hello Daniel."

"I am sorry that you don't think this match is important or good enough. I think it's awesome. Should be loads of fun for everyone."

"I also apologize that PETA was mean to you. Next time they attack. Tell them I am a stuffed owl. Full of fluff and stuff and covered with synthetic feathers. My eyes are plastic too. I think. Then after you do that, throw something at them and run. Like a grenade....or a tank! That's what I would do. Anyway. Don't let them bully you. You're too nice to be bullied. And handsome."

"But also stupid if you think you can beat me cause look at me. I am a tiny owl and you're a giant man. I can do things that you can't and you won't be able to stop me. You'll try and flail about but in the end you won't be able to do it. Then you'll become frustrated and angry and that still won't help you. It'll make things worse! And before you know it....you will lose the fight and I will win. Haven't you seen movies with toys that can walk and talk......the toys always win. Always. Unless it's Child's Play. Or Dolls. Or Puppet Master. I am an owl though. Totally different then the characters from those movies. Totally. I'm more like a character in Toy Story and everyone knows those toys always prevail. And so will I! Ta-Da! Yeah. I'm going to proclaim that over your body after I pin you for the 1, 2, 3!"

"On to Snow. I don't know how I am going to fight you. You're weather. I think. Even still there's no chance for you to beat me cause I'm going to sneak a hair dryer into the arena and hide it under the ring, so it's there for me to use against you. Then when the match begins. I'll distract the ref with a piece of hard candy and while he's busy unwrapping it. Boom. Hairdryer city. You lose Snow! You'll be a melted puddle and then I'll focus on Daniel. I've already explained how that goes. I win. Me. I do. Hootie H. Hootie. Future champion of the universe and ruler of the world! Ahahahahahahahaha!"

"Okay! I love you! Buh......Byeeee!"