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B.O.B. D · (04-26-2019)

I wanted to enjoy everything from Warfare, I deserved to. It wasn't an easy victory to pull off over Vita Valentine and Apocalypse, but it happened. Not only was it my biggest win since joining XWF, it was one of my favorite matches of all time. Never before had I been pushed to THAT sort of limit and I couldn't help but be all smiles over the outcome, even if my body was crying out in pain.

As I sat in the driver's seat of my crappy Pontiac, Fair to Midland blaring from the radio as I occasionally sipped on my red Powerade, Vita's words kept rolling through my head. The way she put me down for only winning 24/7 championships since arriving, the way she bragged about all of HER accomplishments since SHE got here, it really pissed me off. It was hard not to snap back, rip into her for being so thick headed. While I could respect the things she's accomplished, I couldn't respect her ignorant words. I know had I been given the same opportunities she'd been handed, there'd be no way I wouldn't be champion right now. It must've been nice not being placed in filler matches with the likes of cavemen and jobbers, as I had been. At least now everyone could see that the joke was on her.

As much as I wanted to revel over my victory, I had to look ahead to my next task at hand: defeating Kid Kool, Rain, & Snow. There was alot to my upcoming bout that didn't make sense. Why was I tossed into a handicap match? Why did management partner me with Luna? I wasn't sure if they were trying to create a new Tag Team or punish us for something. As far as I knew, my partner hadn't done anything wrong to warrant discipline, and I've done nothing since arriving but speak in truths. That does have a way of getting under people's skin.

If the powers that be weren't trying to punish us, then maybe they were looking to see what we were made of. I couldn't speak for Luna, but I know I haven't proven to be the wrestler I know I was. Yes, I was on a 2 match win streak, but it felt more like one. Mingermind was nothing and everyone knew that, but beating Vita and Apocalypse was definitely a step in the right direction. To top that off with a victory over 3 people with only the help of one, no-one could question me anymore.

I finally arrived at my destination, an XWF live event I wasn't advertised for. As I pulled into a parking spot, I thought about the impact I was starting to make on the XWF. I hadn't maintained the best reputation, but the fact I had the opportunity to put away Kid Fool, a wrestler who people hated even more than me, might get them all talking. As would my appearance at this event.

I got out of my car and made my way to the back where I popped the trunk. The first thing I pull out is a set of dress clothes, but not just any old attire, THIS outfit just so happens to be the EXACT type of suit Kid Kool would wear. I casually put on the suit right there in the parking lot, then turn my attention back to the rest of the trunk's contents.

The next thing is grab is a decent sized suitcase, the contents which shall be revealed in due time. I hold the case in my right hand, while using my left arm to get the other 2 items: blowup dolls, one male, one female. The male one looks like a badly dressed, gay emo; and the female looks like a short haired punk chick. I stuff the dolls under my left arm, close my trunk, and head into the building.

I make my way past various wrestlers in the back, many of whom look at me puzzled. It was hard to know what was more confusing, the fact I was there when I had the night off or because it looked like I was about to have a kinky party.

Once I got to the guerrilla position, I told the audio guy to play a certain song and that I was going out there. Luckily my timing was perfect, as a match had just gotten over and it was a moment of downtime.

The audio guy played my request of Wang Chung's "Dance Hall Days(Remix)" and I could hear all the fans go crazy. They knew Kid Kool wasn't on the program that night, so his avid fans were quite excited to see their favorite make an appearance. And I was about to bring them back down to earth.

"Please welcome the team of Kid Kool, and the Perfect Storm!!!!!" the announcer roared as the fans went even crazier.

I walked through the curtain, receiving an immediate negative reaction. They all booed me and it felt amazing. The last thing I wanted is to be cheered by a bunch of losers who'd cheer for these douches.

As I made my way down the aisle, a few fans threw things at me. I would joke to them about how cool I was, laugh, and keep on strutting down to the ring. Once I made it, somehow alive despite the maliciousness of the entire arena, I slid my suitcase in first, followed by the blowup dolls, and last myself. I got to my feet, walked over, and grabbed a mic.

"As you all know, I'm KIIIIIIIIID KOOOOOOL!!!!" I announce to the crowd, sounding like a total buffoon. I walk over to the blowup dolls and prop them each up in a corner before continuing. "And these are my Tag Team partners Rain and Snow, also known as Mortal Kombat characters!!!"

A few members of the crowd laugh, but most of them aren't amused by my act. Considering I wasn't doing it to necessarily amuse them, it didn't matter.

"I came out here because I know I have a big match against Big D and Luna Hightower Saturday night," I continue with my charade. "Sorry about your damn luck having to go against us. I know it's a handicap match, but I'd really like to make things interesting........"

With a plan I'd made since seeing how ridiculous Kid Fool was, I walked over to the briefcase and picked it up. As I walked over to the center of the ring, I opened up the case, without revealing it's contents immediately.

"How 'bout we make it a handicap death cage of explosions with barbed wire and my dildo on a pole match?" I ask, mocking the ridiculous match types he always wants to be involved in. "I'll tell you what, to make it even more interesting, why don't I offer you guys X-Bux to agree?"

I pull out a handful of Monopoly money with Xs drawn on them and show the crowd. Though I still get booed by the crowd, I can actually hear some wrestlers backstage cheering me on and getting a hoot out of it. Despite the fact the audience might not get everything I was saying or doing, the people in the back certainly knew.

"Maybe I should offer some X-Bux to Game Girl or Vita Valentine so they'll like me," I say as I dump all the Monopoly 'X-Bux' in the ring. "Oh, right, even that wouldn't get me laid. Guess I'll have to have sex with Rain, instead."

As I stop for a moment to take in more boos, I hear a very clear sentence shouted to me.

"Rain's the boy!" a fan shouts, trying to correct me.

"I know, that's the point," I say in a very stereotypical gay voice. My parody has now apparently gone a little too far, as a few people actually get up and leave the arena. It was at this point I'd had enough of the joking and was ready to get serious.

"Do you see how ridiculous your hero is?" I ask, walking over to a corner not occupied by the dolls. I climb onto the turnbuckles, sitting down on the top one. "I call Kid Kool Kid Fool because that's what he is, to me, and the rest of the XWF. When I arrived here and got my first glimpses of the backstage culture, I thought Kid Kool was a noob. Then I come to find out that joke has been here long than Vinnie?!?! This guy thinks he's cool because he owns businesses, has friends like Rain and Snow. Yet he gets on everybody's nerves, would probably get rejected by Moppy, and couldn't wrestle his way out of an already ripped up paper bag. And yet you cheer him."

I stop again, taking in the boos. It felt really good to get it all off my chest, I had waited so long to say and do what I had here. Even though I knew most of the fans didn't like me, same for most of my peers, I at least knew in this moment I was a hero to the XWF lockeroom. I was out here saying the things everyone else had been thinking, laughing behind his back about. And it felt great.

"Come Saturday, I'm going to rip Kid Kool apart," I lash out with an evil grin. "And then I'm going to run the Imperfect Storm out of the XWF. Maybe they can go join an emo band once I do. And if you think for a minute I may be telling some kind of made up story, you obviously don't realize by now I only speak the cold, Big D truth!"

This time "Falling Apart" by Trust Company plays as I toss the mic into the crowd and exit the ring. I was feeling pretty good about being able to get my hands on the one wrestler I had wanted to humiliate since I arrived. Saturday was gonna be a moment long awaited. As I came up the aisle and back behind the curtain, a lower member of management was standing there with a completely pale look on his face.

"What?" I asked. "You look like you've just seen a ghost."

"I-I kind of feel like it....." he began, which I gave him a raised eyebrow to. "Snow and Rain....... they k-killed Kid Kool......"

"Wait........ WHAT?!?!?!"

"They killed him," he repeats holding back tears. "They said they didn't need him for your match and they murdered h-him in c-cold b-b-b-blood."

"Ohhh, don't be such a baby," I said without hesitation. "It's probably some sort of trick to catch me and Luna off guard. Pretend to kill him so we THINK it's an even bout, only to have him sneak up on us to pick up a cheap victory. I mean, couldn't they have just asked him to stay out of the match instead?"

I look at him, not really believing any of it to be true. The guy doesn't know what to say, as his shakiness makes it seem pretty legit.

"I've dealt with all kinds of trickery and bamboozleness since I arrived," I tell him. "So if this IS a trick, I'll be ready."

I patted him on the shoulder and walked past for the exit. I don't know what happened, but regardless me and my partner were gonna walk away from this match the victors. Whether we have to face just the Mortal Kombat wannabes, or them with the cool guy wannabe. No matter what, who, when, how, or why, I wasn't walking out of Savage without another win to my streak. Unfortunately for them, that wasn't no story.

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