We open up on a rather tight shot of Vita Valenteen and Corey sitting over a table. They're leaning in towards each other slightly, but the background at this point is too out of focus to make heads or tails of.

I'm really happy I was able to help pull you out of your funk, Corey. I can't imagine how stressful and weird all this must be for you. Plus, I think maybe Lux was right and you just need some “normal” in your life for a little while.

Corey nods, a small smile tugging at his lips. This definitely qualifies.

The shot finally pulls out more to give us some perspective on the scene. And....



The next number is B-7! That's B-7 everyone!

Some goober running the bingo tumbler at the front of the fire hall calls out the number, causing it to alight on the screen behind him. We are treated to the sound of about 50 senior citizens shuffling to apply bingo dobber ink to their flimsy bingo sheets.

Hey, are you poking fun?!

Corey waves his hands out in front of him. No, no, no! It's fine. Really! Oh, I think I've got that one. Corey dobs the B-7 on his sheet, and he looks across at Vita's numerous cards that she is somehow managing to keep track of. She dabs at the number on a few of them before returning her attention to Corey.

Well good! I used to love coming to bingo with my Nana when I was a sprout. It's relaxing to me. Then, looking up at him. But for real though, did you have something else in mind?

I swear it's fine. Corey maintains, shifting a bit in his seat. I mean, we're just hanging out right? Any time is quality time!

Right! Vita smiles, but it's a shy smile with a dab of indecision lurking behind it.

So, uh, I wanted to thank you again for the save on Lux at Savage. Donovan could have done some serious damage.

It was my pleasure!

Next up is G 50. G-50 folks! Corey and Vita both consider their sheets before continuing. Vita is the first to speak, but she looks a tad reluctant. So, there's a couple things I've been dying to ask about you and Lux, but I don't want to...

Corey shrugs, doing his best to look casual. Hey, you don't need to tell me it's weird. But I'm an open book. Shoot!

Vita looks about, like she's trying to draw some inspiration from the air on how to best express this. So, can Lux see what you're doing ALL the time?

B-4 is next everyone!

Corey smirks awkwardly. You mean, can she see me doing really embarrassing stuff? Heh, well, technically she could. If she wanted to. But no, we can...hmmm...how do I put this....”turn inward”.

Turn inward?

Yeah. Like, when we want to give each other time to ourselves, we can look inside rather than outside. Just like turning away from something in real life that you don't want to see.

Vita seemed to be struggling with this. But do you guys KNOW when the other is turned away?

Well....I mean....I guess not. We just have to trust each other that they're giving us privacy when we want it.

N-45 is the next one!

OH, BINGO! An old woman called out from the crowd, waving her winning card in the air. A collective series of annoyed groans permeate the room.

Vita looks at her cards and frowns. Darn it! I was close too! Oh well. She picks up the spent cards and puts them aside. So, be honest Corey, have you ever, you know....spied?

On Lux? Corey grimaces. Yeah. And it ended up being one of the worst things I've ever done.

Vita immediately sees the look on Corey's face and relents. Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to....

It's ok. I'm still processing it. It's rough. Corey forces himself to brighten up or risk losing Vita. Speaking of Lux, how worried does she have to be about Miss 24/7?

Vita chuckles. Oh my gosh! I couldn't do that to you guys. Honestly, I have NO IDEA what I want to do! It's weird though, having this briefcase is like a dream come true. It's just flush with possibilities. But now that I have it, it's almost overwhelming, you know? Sooooo many possibilities. And it's kind of scary too. I mean, sure, I could surprise Robert Main and become the Universal Champion! Crazy! But what then? Becoming the Universal Champ puts you in the cross-hairs of everybody on the roster. It's a lot of pressure.

You don't think you could do it?

I guess I don't know. I'm still processing it.

Corey considers her from across the table, his features espousing a quiet and sincere confidence. Vita's eyes meet his as he speaks. I don't think you have a thing to worry about. You're so much greater than you realize.



Vita's jaw hangs open a tad, and they both feel something transgress the air between them, a spark, an ELECTRICITY that is so thick it's borderline tangible. Vita feels her face start to burn, and she turns her head away. I wonder when the next game is gonna start.

Corey, seeing Vita's hesitance, immediately starts to fear he overplayed his hand. He sits back in his chair, fumbling for the most vanilla response he can think of. Oh! Uhhhh, soon probably.

The number caller from before gets back on the mic at the front of the hall, and he seems rather excited. So everyone, I have some fun news! I've just been informed that we have a special guest here tonight!

Corey and Vita look at each other in horror and start sinking low in their seats to avoid the attention.

Yes folks, let's give a warm welcome to former XWF superstar....THE ENGINEER!

Corey suddenly looks shocked, then disgusted. Oh, never mind this is SO, SO MUCH WORSE.

Engy clambers up on stage and grabs the mic, jostling the number caller out of the way. Hey, everybody, it's ya boy Engy! Do ya'all even get XWF on the Hitlery Channel or C-Spam or whatever the fuck old people watch nowadays?

Some collective gasps puncture the room.

Anyhoo, I was offered the chance to be a special guest number caller, but I'm gonna have to decline 'cuz I'm mad at numbers AND letters, but I do wanna give a shout out to my little bro Corey, who's out there with his girlfriend Vita on his first date ever. Say hi Corey!

Corey mouths “fuck you” to Engy, but he doesn't seem to notice or care.

I should prolly be out there chaperonin' him anyway, make sure the kiddos don't have any out of wedlock sexual intercourses or nothin' that'll make God sad. So have a good time folks, and I'll prolly see ya'all in Heaven REAL SOON! Engy waves goodbye stupidly to the crowd before stepping down from the dias and heading right for Corey and Vita. Corey is already reaching behind himself to grab his windbreaker.

We should go. He intones, looking seriously perturbed.

Vita, a bit flustered herself, hesitates. Well he's already on his way ov-scratch that's he's here.

Engy flops down in a seat next to Vita, and Corey immediately starts glowering at him and slowly returning to his own seat. Why are you here?

Like, in the cosmic sense?

Corey leans over the table, hissing his next words bitterly. You ruin everything! I hate you. I know Lux has to tolerate you, but I don't! I hate you and you are a fundamentally bad person and your success in the XWF is proof that God hates us!

Engy looks blown away, rocking back in his chair. Then, he points at Corey but turns to Vita. You SURE you wanna let this guy knock you up? Seems like he's got some kinda anger management problem.

Vita's face flushes red again, and she looks down at the table.

I'm not knocking her up you human weeping pus sore!

You're right, you're not! Engy reaches deep into the inside pockets of his filthy jacket and pulls out a line of condoms. He drops them on the table in front of Corey. Because I brought you these MAGNUM SIZED CONDOMS! Engy elbows Vita playfully and winks at Corey. You're welcome.

Still looking totally embarrassed, Vita cuts in nonetheless to try to defuse the situation. Look Mr. Bright, I totally respect you and everything you've done. And I think maybe in your own weird way you're trying to help right now, but...you're kinda not and it's just making me uncomfortable.

Engy considers Vita, and then glances across the table at Corey's seething face. Then, scooping up the condoms and putting them back in his jacket, he proceeds to speak casually. Vita, I'm terribly sorry. Thank you for calmly and rationally pointing out that I was making you uncomfortable. That was not my intention at all and I would like to offer you my sincerest apologies!

Corey looks at Engy astonished, and Vita considers him hopefully. It's ok Mr. Bright, we all make mistakes.

Well, hey, right you are! And being the sane, rational minded man that I am, I will discontinue my present course of action and change the subject!

Okay, cool!

No.... Corey waggles a finger in the air in an accusatory fashion. The other shoe is gonna drop. I know it. You can't help yourself.

Engy looks hurt. Has it ever occurred to you that all I ever needed as a corrective measure was some baseline of respect and decency? A calm voice simply pointing out the err of my ways and asking me to stop? That's really all it takes, man. Sorry you're so salty about it.

I'm going to stroke out. Oh God, it's coming...

Vita turns to Engy, again seeking to turn the tide of the conversation. I think we should all move past this and continue on with our evening guys!

I agree, Vita! Holy cow Corey, this one is a KEEPER. You are just sweet as a....sweet thing!

Defeated, Corey puts his forehead down on the table for a moment before rising up again abruptly. Fine. Now Engy, is there some other reason you're here?

Uhhhh.... He squints his eyes and puts on his “I'm thinking really hard” face. Oh yeah! I got some wisdom to lay on ya about Lux's next opponent at Savage.

Well maybe you should tell Lux. She's the one who does all the fighting.

Yeah, but you been cuttin' the promo's so I figure I'll give ya some sick burns to lay on this bum. I got history with Bee-Dubs so I can give ya the, whaddya call it, inside track!

Vita perks up. Hey, weren't you on the Motherfudgers with him a little while back?

Yes ma'am! And let me tell you, BWP was the definition of the term “weak link”. Guy sucked like a Saigon whore on an American billionaire with a green card to spare.

Okay, but hold up. Corey puts his hands out in front of him for emphasis, looking nonplussed. Weren't YOU the one who was absent from the main event at War Games, costing your team the match?

I didn't cost them guys shit. Engy leans in. Look Corey, even if I had been in that match we still woulda lost. And that ain't a 'flection on me or Robbie Bourbon neither. You say what you want about Apex, but those guys were always on point. Yeah, even Jim, even though he was a dipshit sometimes. But me and Robbie was stuck with some glory-fried Stolen Valor variety show act in Bee Dubs. Guy was not good and everyone knew it. He woulda cost us that match even if I had been in it.

So your solution was to just bail on your team?

Nah bro, I was playin' the LONG GAME see? I KNEW we couldn't win at War Games carryin' that bearded ten pound shit in a five pound bag, not against guys like Apex. So, I cashed in my 24/7 briefcase on Chris Chaos and became Jim's tag team partner! I forced him to be co-tag team champs with me! 'Cuz I realized that we were never gonna flush Apex out the XWF without an ace in the hole, and mine was using those tag titles to get behind the lines and work on Jim. How was I supposed to know that Jim was gonna go nucking futs and bail on the XWF as soon as he had to fight me one on one like 2 months later?

So this was all just some cleverly contrived mind game to try to make up for BWP's inadequacies?

Yeah.

And not just some ex-post-facto bullshit you came up with right now that we should definitely believe because of your sterling and irrefutable relationship with the truth?

No...wait, yeah! Wait....were all of those even real words?

Corey gets up off his seat and picks up his windbreaker. Vita, you wanna head out?

Oh sure, I guess so. Ice cream?

Sounds great.

Hey, wait a minute! I like ice cream!

Ok, cool. I'm going to go crank up the Model T and I'll let you know when it's ready. It might take a while though so if we're gone for a long time don't be alarmed.

Cool.

Corey gently takes Vita by the elbow and they move to leave. Bye Mr. Bright!

Bye Vita. Stay gold Pony Girl! Engy waves goodbye and watches them leave. He sits back in his chair and waits....and waits...and waits....

Finally, an old lady, who was sitting just out of camera range the whole time, leans in. I don't think they're coming back.

Fuck.

LATER....

We see Corey and Vita sitting on a bench outside, enjoying some ice cream. Vita considers Corey with a slight touch of reproach. That wasn't very nice Corey.

Corey withers a bit under the gentle admonishment. Whaaaat? You want that lunatic up our butts all day?

He's kinda funny sometimes.

Corey just shakes his head, and turns to the camera.

Bee Double Pee. Corey salutes the camera smartly. Thank you for your service to our country. Obviously, neither Lux nor I know you personally. Everything we've got is second hand through Engy which, as I'm sure you're aware, is not the most accurate of sources. You're a longstanding member of the roster, and when you're not pinning Mastermind bare assed (kudos by the way. On the humor, not necessarily the ass), you seem to have garnered a reputation for being a chaotic force of nature. Chaos seeming to be the operative word.

Not gonna lie, you look like you could twist me into a pretzel and feed me to that glorious beard of yours. Seriously, the sheen on that thing is incredible. Luckily for me, you're facing Lux. But I think you're gonna struggle. Color me biased, but a guy whose mind seems to be stretching in as many directions as yours is fixing to collide head on with someone's whose focus is about as strong as they come. More so now, that Lux is trying to rebound from March Madness and carve one hell of a niche as the champion of Savage.

BWP, you strike me as one of those fun loving fraternity jocks who has all the tools to succeed but can't step away from the booze and the broads long enough to put those tools to good use. Everybody loves a good party, but when the party never stops you can't be THAT surprised when you find yourself standing stock still as the rest of the world has passes you by. And as much as I hate to attribute even an iota of correctness to Engy, he may have a teensy bit of a point about you. Take the Motherfuckers for example. Post War Games Robbie Bourbon's Universal Title reign rolled on right into Engy's while you, by and large, were left holding your tackle. Sure, you had a blink and you'll miss it run with the Xtreme, but that's about the extent of it. If we were to rank the members of your former stable by effectiveness, I'm sorry to say you'd be a distant third. But still first in facial hair, no doubt!

Damn, Engy being right leaves a sour taste.

So hey man, in a weird kinda way I'd almost like to see you up your game just to prove Engy wrong. But first things first, you gotta prove yourself more of a “Universal Soldier” and less of a “Private Pyle.” Catch you soon man. But for the love of God please keep your ass in your pants.

Corey then slaps his forehead.

Oh, I almost forgot! The match stipulation! Turns out Lux's poll was a dead heat between Lumberjack Match and Indian Strap Match. So..... Corey gestures at Vita melodramatically. .....ladies choice?

Lumberjack Match! Vita announces jubilantly.

Lumberjack match it is. Hope everybody booked that night has some fresh pressed flannel. Later!