Oh, Jim.

Jim, Jim, Jim, what have you done?

Rose colored glasses, aren't they great? Selective memory from either one too many blows to the head, or all those whippets in a beat up pickup truck behind the Dollar General in south Long Beach.

CTE?

No, that would mean Caedus had a brain to damage.

Lets go with the whippits. Just a rush of nitrus oxide and oxygen, bumping into the skull and circling back.

It must be fun to be that simplistic.

It must be frustrating.

No, its probably fun. Jim looks like a fun loving guy.

He looks like Hagrid after a meth binge and talks as nutty as Alex Jones!

To Jim, the world is exactly how Jim remembers it. I know you can't wrestle for a while babe, but you can still use a remote, right?

Duh.

Rewind that shit, if you would. Lets show Jim what REALLY happened, because he seems to be forgetting exactly what transpired.

Of course.

The bell rings and Jim goes right in for the attack! He pummels the Engineer with overhead fist after overhead fist! He works him back into the corner, but Engy overpowers him easily and pushes his way out of the corner! Jim rolls backwards and grabs his ankle! Uh oh! It looks like Jim rolled back on that ankle a little weird! I didn't notice anything! What a pussy! Engy waits a moment, giving his tag team partner a moment to get back to his feet. Tears roll down the face of the fallen champion as his ankle must really hurt! Maddy is on the outside of the ring telling Engy to go after Caedus, but Engy sits back in the corner and continues to wait for Jim to reach his feet. Jim finally manages to crawl to the corner and, with help from Mika the Official, pulls himself to his feet. He wipes his tears and gimps a limp out towards the middle of the ring where Engy meets him with a kick to the stomach! Jim throws up a little bit in his mouth from the kick, but swallows it up like a good boy and doesn't dirty up the ring! Engy pushes him back against the ropes and Irish whips him a across the ring! Jim takes two steps and can barely walk on the twisted ankle and collapses against the opposite ropes! Jim rolls over and sits up grabbing the ankle against and moaning like a wounding dog! I must say, it does NOT seem like Jim Caedus came here prepared tonight... Mika checks in on Jim again. Meanwhile, outside of the ring Madison produces a pair of brass knuckles and tosses them up to Engy. Engy looks down at them for a moment, then frisbies them across the ring where they slide out and hit the floor. He looks back add Maddy and shakes his head "No" before focusing back on the wounded Jim Caedus across the ring. Mika finally begins to count Jim down after he spends another few minutes pouting on the mat. He slowly works his way back up before the count of six. Engy moves back in ...... but he's caught!!!!!!! Katabasis!!!!!!! Where did that come from?! I'm not sure, but Jim Caedus just flattened Engineer with his big move! What a comeback! Jim goes to roll through for a pin, but Engy rolls out and gets right back to his feet! Engy is unphased by that! Jim Caedus is a phony! Jim struggles to get back to his feet, but does and walks right into a standard DDT! Caedus is out cold! Engineer wastes no time and looks in "A Boy Named It"!! His patented submission finisher!!!! Unable to take ANY pain at all Jim Caedus immediately taps out and frantically cries out like a little bitch for the entire XWF Universe to hear. Engy releases the hold and immediately rolls out of the ring, meeting the time keeper, Nipsey Russell, before he even has a chance to hand the title over to the referee......

Winner and NEW XWF Universal Champion - The Engineer

The laughter was belly-rumbling. Feet kicking, fist pounding, tears in the eyes laughing.

Hold on, go back, rewind that.

Engy overpowers him easily and pushes his way out of the corner! Jim rolls backwards and grabs his ankle! Uh oh! It looks like Jim rolled back on that ankle a little weird! I didn't notice anything! What a pussy! Engy waits a moment, giving his tag team partner a moment to get back to his feet. Tears roll down the face of the fallen champion as his ankle must really hurt!

More belly laughs.

Was he CRYING! Jim Caedus was CRYING. Oh my god, this might be the best thing I've ever seen.

More?

Please.

I must say, it does NOT seem like Jim Caedus came here prepared tonight... ...... but he's caught!!!!!!! Katabasis!!!!!!! Where did that come from?! I'm not sure, but Jim Caedus just flattened Engineer with his big move! What a comeback! Jim goes to roll through for a pin, but Engy rolls out and gets right back to his feet! Engy is unphased by that! Jim Caedus is a phony! Jim struggles to get back to his feet, but does and walks right into a standard DDT! Caedus is out cold! Engineer wastes no time and looks in "A Boy Named It"!! His patented submission finisher!!!! Unable to take ANY pain at all Jim Caedus immediately taps out and frantically cries out like a little bitch for the entire XWF Universe to hear.

Looks like Jim had a bad night long before our little plan came to fruition.

It was at that moment that the Jim Caedus era died. I mean, he cried, he puked a little in his mouth, he tapped out and cried some more. Funny how Jim didn't mention this part of his night when he highlighted the Event and played it off like some "Second Coming of Christ" montage. Funny how he would choose to omit these details, hmmm?

How can anyone take him seriously after this?

They don't. I don't even think he takes himself seriously. And forget what we did, forget the car, the fire, the ambush, forget all that! Look at this match, listen to the commentary, look at the result. Forget anything we did, it was at this moment that the 'legacy' of Jim Caedus died. It was at this moment that it ended, all over, kaput. Hell, after this pathetic performance, we did Jim Caedus a favor! He wanted to bring up that little clip from backstage, he dug this hole. Did he just choose to omit the rest of the show? Is that how his mind works? If he doesn't believe it and shuts his eyes hard enough, it'll poof and go away?

Ew, don't say poof, it reminds me of Cadryn.

Yeah, true, Hep C is no joke. Poor guy. But for real, is Jim really this delusional?

Appears so.

He was so concerned with making you look bad....funny how he started his little video clip AFTER this sad display of a match. He found a good one though. Not gonna go anything?

Hey! I had just had a hard fought match! That is more than I can say about him! I was the main event that night, I had just gotten out of the ring, my back was in shambles, and I slipped up!

Excuses, much?

Hey! I don't even think he knows I am not wrestling or even active in XWF anymore! He was talking about me like I am an everyday figure.

Because to him, you are. It was the feud with us that made him relevant. To Jim, time has stood still. He has come out of his coma and all his buddies are still here, so he thinks the times haven't changed. The playdate continues! If only Jim could be thankful for the favor we gave him. After that match, there is no way he can ever recover. He should have stayed dead, people would have respected him more.

---

EXTRA! EXTRA!
READ ALL ABOUT IT!
Sniveling bitch boy comes back from the dead!
Jim Caedus pretends he still matters!
Check it out, front page!
Extra! Extra!

The words echo the sentiments of the masses. A simple sentence, uttered by one and repeated by many. Words that will go down in history as the most accurate and prophetic words ever spoken. Enlightenment, truth, and the purpose of being.

Jim Caedus is a phony!

How ironic?

Jim Caedus comes back to a company that was so quick to write him off. A company that played off his insecruties, and put his "sickness" on marquees for all to see. Jim Caedus comes back to XWF because Robert Main is facing traffic cones in title matches and Chris Chaos is still as annoying as ever. Jim Caedus comes back to a dying company who doesn't give a fuck either way because his bestie---who now weirdly enough looks like him? what ever happened to the Seth Fedder sunglasses look?---is afraid that for the first time in the length of a pregnancy that his title may be in jeopardy.

The XWF is a clique.

The ownership, management, everything down to the valet parking guys in front of the arena, are a clique. In the clique? All the fame in the world. Out of it? You're trolled relentlessly and belittled to the point where you leave and they laugh behind your back.
Jim Caedus is the clique by association.

He wasn't the clique when he was rebelling, was he? He wasn't the clique when he didn't do everything they wanted..........
And they made televised his true colors........

How ironic?

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Now Jim wants to come back because he has nowhere else to go. The contract has run out, the money has been spent on Mr. Sub and Steel Reserve, and now Jim has to crawl back to the same hole that laughed when he left.

Jim, they talked sooooooooooooooooooo much shit.

They don't fear you, respect you, hell they don't even like you. You're a bargaining chip, Jim. Wake up. They have Jim Caedus, and you're the recruiting tool.

Their roster is swish cheese right now, Jim, and the corner is being chewed on by rats. You are the one who is supposed to come out, shit talk like the atom-bomb, tell a hard to follow story with jagged cuts and jarring imagry, and beat a legend who has been XWF ride or day since the day the ink dried.

Because they don't want me here.

So they pull Jim Caedus out of the grave---really, come on, tell us, how hard did they beg?---and all is well is wrestling land.

How does Jim Caedus feel about this?

He's happy a bearded clam.

Why?

The answer is as simple as the math Jim can't do.

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim, to be frank, is talented as hell. Like him or hate him, he's damn good at what he does. But what he has become, well, that is a shame. That is a travesty. Jim has become a puppet, and nothing more than a name on a video screen. Jim Caedus has been overshadowed by Robert Main.

----the man who only matters because Jim Caedus endorsed him, by the way.

Jim Caedus is APEX. He's back here to run rougshod over a roster whose biggest name once Chaos leaves belongs to a girl who nobody even knows if she's hit puberty yet.

Oh yeah, Michael Graves is back. EVEN MICHAEL GRAVES MATTERS MORE THAN JIM CAEDUS.

But who needs this match more? Chris Chaos, whose already been offered a check with a whole bunch of zero's on it by a company that actually believes in him.........

Or Jim Caedus, the man who is only here because Main begged him to?

Jim can talk tough all he wants, and can spew verbal bombs and chopper style bullets....Jim can ramble on in one long, giant, run on sentence insult and look up new words to say the SAME shit he's been saying about Chris for TWO YEARS.......

But none of it matters.......none of it.

Why?

Jim Caedus is a phony!

What a pussy!

What a pussy!

They don't like you Jim, they never did. They need you now but this will end the same way it always does. They'll cast you off like a leper when they don't need you anymore.

Join the club.

They never liked you, because you're not like them.........

You're their pet.

Have fun.

---

"Oh Jim, Jimmy Jimmy, Jimmy.....

What mistakes you have made. What a terrible decision. You expect me to throw in the white flag, to give up, to conceed to the idea that I can't beat Jim Caedus.......

Oh Jim, did you really think that was going to happen?

Sure, the site went down for a few days, and XWF promotions went on silent mode. Nobody heard anything from anyone---but look at Warfare. The last thing they saw was a verbal bullet barrage from the man who holds the smoking semi-automatic, Jim Caedus. It was you and me, big guy, and you were in the lead.

Or were you?

Jim, you have been saying the same goddamn thing now in every match. Your trends are more obvious than a Kardashian ass, and you expect us all to be too intimidated to pick up on them. You're Jim Caedus after all, and we should all be in hiding. Hanging on every word, picking up every punctuation mistake, every little nitpick thing you can.........then what do you do?

You sandwich it in between a run on sentence the size of the Boston Marathon.

Irony, much?

Jim, you focus on the little things people say wayyyy too much for someone who looks like they smell like they can't read. For someone who rambles on--using 47 different sexual terms found on Urban Dictionary and polishing them off with a few motherfuckers and some cunts for added effect--you certainly have a lot of gaul to call others out.

You're a walking contradiction.

Wait, that's me right? You've pointed that out so many times. I say one thing, you can't understand the metaphor because it isn't eligible to be purchased by SSI or your local food stamp accepting gas station, and you take it to heart. Then , I say the same thing, a different way........

--you know, creativity--

And suddenly its "YOU SAID TWO DIFFERENT THINGS! YOU'RE A HYPOCRITE, A LIAR, YOU DON'T LISTEN".

Take that shit back to the trailer park and shut your mouth. Jim, I am not going to ever be as good as you at talking shit. It's just not my nature. You have a bowling alley vocabulary and the temper of an Irish drunk, and you can shit talk with the best of them. I am never going to be that way. Bravo, let me clap for you, because that is an accomplishment.

Is it though?

Jim you've clearly went boom. Off the deep end. There is clearly some motivation here, some deep seeded hatred, and some absolute desperate need to make me look as stupid as possible. Great. I applaud that too. I am glad to see that Jim has gotten off Youtube and put down the Area 51 government cover up tabloids, and focused himself on a match.

I am glad to see that Jim has decided that he wants to go viral with this. I wouldn't want it any other way, honestly. I am glad Jim hasn't changed, because I missed by battles with my old scraggly haired friend. Honestly, between Gabe Reno and Jim Caedus, Chris Chaos feuds have kept this place afloat. Without me sitrring up the shit pot, you'd have a touch-and-go James Raven, a washed up Doc, a Robert Main who ONLY has the title because Engy went back to the nuthouse, and Drezdin.

Chris Chaos has made the XWF.

Chris Chaos versus Jim Caedus.

Chris Chaos versus Gabe Reno.

Chris Chaos versus anyone they put in front of him.

I have become the gold standard here. I am the one who has kept the axel greased, and Jim you were part of it. You seem to think that I suck, that I am useless, that I have no business picking up a microphone in this company again, that I am the same old Chris Chaos, packaged to look shiny and new----

--but opinions are like assholes right?--

--but I seem to think that you are the one who hasn't changed. You just blast like a shotgun at anything any everyone around you---taking shots at Jenny like she still wrestles and failing to mention she's the only reason we still have a Savage broadcast--and that choppy inconsistent hick speak.

A
N
D

W
H
A
T

I
S

T
H
I
S

S
H
I
T
?

Overrated.

Tiny Dick.

Inflated Ego.

Loser.

Some of these things reek with Jim. But I guess we can be truthful with ourselves and each other, right? Nothing has changed, neither of us......our styles, our trends, our skills, our trash talking. It's all the same.........there is only one thing that sets us apart..........

I didn't cry on national television.

Like a bitch.

Pussy.

.

Fraud.

H
A
V
E

I

G
O
T
T
E
N

Y
O
U
R

A
T
T
E
N
T
I
O
N

N
O
W

J
I
M
?



Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!

Jim Caedus is a phony!