Manhattan, NYC, New York
Friday, July 13, 2018
8:25pm Eastern Standard Time

Pestalance sits inside of a small recording room in front of a backdrop of the New York City skyline in the WNYW Fox Television Station. A sign of slight angst rests on his face as an assistant affixes a small microphone to his shirt.

Ok Mr. Johnson, you are going to be on in a few minutes. Just relax and have fun with the interview.

Relax? Have fun? Listen, I know this station very well…I know the kind of people affiliated to this station. This isn’t a situation that I would associate with fun. And the fact that no one will tell me who is interviewing me isn’t really helping in the relaxation department.

Well just know that the person interviewing you is very excited to speak to you and get your perspective on things.

The assistant fiddles around with the microphone cable ensuring that is isn’t visible.

Ok, you’re all set. Do me a favor and say something so we can mic check.

Pest shifts his head so his mouth is closer to the mic.

Fuck!

Chuckling can be heard as someone off camera says “We got that!” The assistant moves off camera and we begin to hear a countdown to the beginning of Pest’s surprise interview. As the countdown ends the scene shifts and we find out what show Pest is on.



Opinionated, out spoken, real…that’s how my next guest is normally described by people within the X-treme Wrestling Federation; well tonight I get the opportunity to get real with the 2018 Second Chance Battle Royal winner and number one contender to the Universal Championship, Pestalance. Welcome to the show Pestalance.

As Tucker speaks the shot moves to a split screen where we see a very unhappy Pestalance.

Hello Tucker.

I’ve got to say Pestalance, you’ve got a very interesting back story. Father was a felon, constantly in and out of jail. Mother was a crack whore in and out of your life. You were on the path to following in your father’s footsteps until a wonderful white couple took you in and molded you into the productive member of society you are today…just a fantastic story!

There is a moment of silence between the two as a look of confusion grows on Pest’s face. After a moment Pest breaks the silence.

Ummm…Tucker…My late father was an active duty United States Marine when he died, my mother is a retired school teacher, and I played football at Rutgers University where I earned my degree in business. I'm a very wealthy self-made entrepreneur.

Tucker has his signature look on as Pest corrects him.



Once Pest finishes, Tucker snaps out of it almost indignant in his response.

Pestalance, the information I have comes from a trusted source within XWF, so it’s highly unlikely that it’s untrue.

Pest has on the “boo face” as he responds.

Would that source happen to be Madison Dyson?

Tucker is startled by this.

I…I mean…it wouldn’t be fair to my source to reveal them like that.

Well your source is wrong.

I’m pretty sure they aren’t. My version actually sounds believable, so we are going to just roll with it. Now tell me something Pestalance, how could someone who’s benefited so much from being an American, hate our country so much.

Pest’s head snaps back in shock.

Say what?!?! I aint never said…

Tucker cuts off Pest before he can finish.

We have footage; hey, can you guys roll that special footage we got from our source.

A cartoonishly obvious mash up of videos from Pest are shown. In some of the videos Pest is wearing obviously different clothes.

Quote:I. Cant. Stand. White. People. And. I. Hate. America!

See, Pestalance, right there on video. The camera doesn’t lie sir.

We can see confused shock in Pest’s face.

Man…that’s obviously fake. You can’t just throw some mish mashed video together and present it as truth.

Tucker becomes even more indignant.

Are you trying to call us fake news? I’m not gonna let you sit here and trash this station. We aren’t fake news…we are fair and balanced here at Fox. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it cause we say so! And when Fox tells you something, you don’t go looking for facts, you don’t question it, you just accept it as gospel!

Pest starts shaking his head while removing the mic from his shirt.

See, this is why I didn’t want to come do this interview. Ya’ll crazy as hell. You done lost your damn mind. I’m out dis bitch.

Pest stands and walks out of the shot as Tucker continues on his tirade.

Yeah, that’s right, you leave my show right now. See this is why those people are killin each other. Can’t teach these people civility and they can’t accept the truth.

Tucker takes a couple of breaths calming down before putting on a more pleasant face and speaking into the camera.

Coming up next…white supremacist candidates are infiltrating the Republican Party during our upcoming mid-term elections. Why voting for these candidates are what’s best for America! Stay tuned!


Plainfield, New Jersey
Friday, July 13, 2018
10:45pm Eastern Standard Time

Well…this is awkward.

Pestalance is seated in his living room with his arms up on the back of the couch. There’s a slight smirk on his face as he speaks.

I mean, I didn’t expect Engineer to drop to his knee and blow me or anything after my first promo. But I also didn’t expect for him to straight up tell me that he’s completely overlooking me. I kinda honestly didn’t know how I should feel about that.

Like, part of me felt a little disrespected initially. I sat around for two and a half days waiting to hear this man’s feelings about me and this match and not only did he barely talk about me and the match; he spent a good portion talking about Robert Main.

Yes, the same Robert Main that I kicked the shit out of.

And if I’m being honest here, I was ready to react based on pure emotion. I was ready to stand in front of a camera and scream out “How dare you overlook me, motherfucka!!!” I was ready to stand in front of the camera and call you sixteen different flavors of punk ass bitches. Tell you how much of a mistake you are making by not focusing on me. But then I realized something.

Pest looks up at the ceiling, the smirk turning into a full on smile as he looks back at the camera.

See, this is want you do Engy. This is part of what makes you so fucking good. How easily you can get into someone’s head. How simple it is for you to pull people’s strings and manipulate them until they are right where you want them. You’ve done it to everyone that’s come into contact with you.

Every single one of them.

You’ve manipulated them all to do exactly want you wanted them to do even if it was something they had no interest in. You’ve done it to Madison, you did it to Jim, you’ve done it to your son, and you were super ass close to doing it to me.

Pest removes his arms from the back of the couch and begins to clap.

Props, mah nigga; mad props.

Clapping stops; arms back on couch.

Now, I’m not saying that you are lying. Hell, in that fucked up head of yours, Robert Main could very well be your latest competition crush and I could just be an obstacle standing in your way of him. And if that’s the case then whatever; I’m not here for people to respect me on a personal level so that potential fact wouldn’t really bother me.

But what would, and did initially bother me (and I have no fucking clue how your brain even works to think like this) is the timing of it all. See you’ve had matches and appearances for quite a while now and you chose this match of all matches to focus on a future opponent and not your current one.

You chose me, the guy that the company has undervalued, to be the guy you undervalue. Because you know that it bothers me. You know that it gets under my skin so much that it changed my focus from winning championship to just wanting to fuck people up.

Well not this time. I’m not gonna be thrown off my game. Because despite my change in motivations, you are the man that I came to this company to beat; you are the reason why I’m here Engineer. Yes, I’ve said that before, and I’m going to continue to say it because it’s the truth.

I have to beat you!

Now, I don’t know if first time is gonna be the charm. I’m not saying that it is, but this is an opportunity that I can’t take lightly. I have to be razor sharp…completely focused…head in the game. At this point in my career, it’s the only way that I can beat you.

But please continue to treat me insignificantly. Continue to tell the world that this is gonna be another walk in the park display of dominance that has been the string of Engineer matches. Continue to talk about everyone else except me. It’s all good…cause I promise you that regardless of whether I beat you or not this time, you’ll never ignore me again.

Holla at cha later, bitch!