I tossed and turned in my hotel bed with thoughts of what happened. I couldn't relieve myself of the sight of Blair's eyes as they lost the glow of life. I could still feel her dry blood tugging on my skin and cracking with every movement I made. I didn't know her that well, this much was true, but in her last moments she trusted me with her deepest secret...The darkness that she hid away from everyone else. No, I didn't know her well enough to mourn like the rest of the Sirens but I mourned her in my own way. I carried the guilt of not trying hard enough to save her from herself...You don't move on from things like that.

I hoped that Sage would send for me tonight, although, I knew they were probably busy getting things prepared to lay Blair to rest. This was another thought that kept me from sleep. Although the words of exile were not said spoken to me I knew what hung on Serena's mind, the thought that I killed her sister and I guess in a way I did. I wanted to see my daughter, to make things right with not only her but the Sirens. The only thing I could wonder is...Was I too late to make up for the things I've done?

At last rest took me into its arms and I drifted into a deep sleep. I had learned to control my dreams and could now dift into a world all my own. The ground was covered in snow and I could see my breath from the chilled air around me. Strangely enough though, I could also feel the warmth of the sun on my skin as I closed my eyes and sighed. This is what peace felt like for me. Alone in this place surrounded by trees and able to feel the chill of the air but also the warmth of the sun. If I could escape into my mind I think I would.

Daughter.

Ashba's voice carried what I could mistake as concern. I turned to see him standing a few feet from me. At first I had hoped this was part of my dream, sadly, I knew it wasn't. Like I said I had become very aware of my dreams and at the drop of a pin I could change anything...But he wasn't going away.

You aren't...

Dead, no. I'm sorry to tell you that Blair's sacrifice wasn't enough to kill me. I broke the bond just in time before she took the sweetest way out of a battle that is partly her fault.

You aren't sorry, what do you want?

His posture and body language gave off the appearance that he was feeling some type of remorse or sorrow, but I wasn't stupid. He didn't care about Blair, he never did.

I need to speak with you.

Now you want to talk? After you tried to kill me, break me and force me into my own personal hell? After everything you've done now you want to talk?

Yes. You and I both no know I have no power here anymore unless you allow me and we both know you won't. I just want to speak with you.

Why? I don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore.

Ashba hung his head as if to show a sign of shame. I rolled my eyes and sighed before turning away from him slightly and watching him from the corner of my eye.

Even if you don't want to believe me you need to know what I have to say.

I completely turned away from him by this point but I could feel the heat from his breath on my back.

You don't have to believe me you just need to listen.

I turned around to come face to face with him. With a grunt I bawled my hand into a fist and fought back the urge to send my fist into his face.

Let me guess, a sob story about the past? Maybe tell me you actually loved Blair? Make me feel for you to try to get me to care enough about you to join your side or some shit? Not interested.

Then why haven't you woken up?

I turned my face away from him and lowered my head.

You don't want to wake up because you would rather stay here and listen to me than wake up and feel the pain of everything that has happened. That's why I'm here daughter. I feel your pain, the darkness you think about so often and have fought off for so long is creeping its way into your mind and you fear it. You fear what would happen if you had everything ripped away once again. The last time you had it all ripped away you became a Siren, what do you think will happen this time?

I looked up at Ashba, my eyes turning a maroon color and my blood rushing with heat.

You are afraid you will stop caring. You're afraid you will give in to that urge that every original has given into.

What do you mean...

That rage, the need to kill, that's not just you. Serena has it, Helen has it, I have it, Blair had it, and you have it. It's that rage of being exiled from everything you know. You became a Siren the moment your daughter was taken from you, what do you think will happen when you are exiled? When the three originals were exiled from heaven and forced to stay on this earth every one of them killed countless people. Then they fled to Anthemoessa. When I was exiled I did the same. They didn't tell you how I died did they?

No.

Helen and Serena were smart, they knew I only used Blair for the gift that was given to them. They knew I didn't love her but her ignorance to that fact is what made you and your sister. That's why I was never accepted as a part of of their "family". Serena exiled me, marked me for life. She was just as ignorant as Blair was, but Helen wasn't. Her and I made a deal that if I took my lust for blood somewhere else and she would do me a few favors in return. I knew it was a matter of time before I died. After I was exiled Blair made a deal with a witch, a witch that managed to strip me of my Siren blood and in that moment I was ambushed. They killed me and every person I befriended, well, they thought they did. I had that little insurance policy with Helen. She didn't realize what she had done but I had it all planned out.

And that's why you're here, why should I care? I don't care about your story, soon you'll actually be dead and I won’t have to deal with you or anything you’ve done anyway.

Will I? Insurance policies are my specialty after all. I'm not here to tell you my story, I'm here to tell you that one way or another you are going to become that monster that you have feared this whole time. It's natural for us to be monsters, it's expected of us. How do you think we were supposed to save Persephone from Hades?

I shook my head, trying not to consider if his words were true.

Why are you telling me this?

So you can prepare yourself, so maybe you can join your family and be who you truly are.

I've already told you we aren't family.

Then I guess you will have no one if you manage to make it out of this alive. The Rage, the pain, that "darkness" you fear will overtake you and you won't know how to handle it. I know how to deal with it because I have already dealt with it. You will feel the hunger to kill everyone you know and you won't be able to stop it.

Ashba smiled and began to walk away.

You won't hear from me again until we meet face to face. If Serena, Helen, and yourself make it out alive they will exile you and I will be waiting. Waiting to hear the carange my daughter has created.

I watched as he faded into the snow and soon disappeared. I was left alone and with the thought of what I could...Would become.

I pulled myself from my dream and woke up to the sun shining in through the curtains in the hotel room. Pushing myself up from the bed, I looked around for a sign Sage had been there but quickly noticed there wasn't one. I sighed and pulled my body to the edge of the bed and allowed my feet to hit the ground. I bent over to rest my elbows on my knees and ran my hands through my hair.

No one is perfect, we all have our faults just some people are better at hiding them. We've all done something to regret but very few times do we have the opportunity to make up for it. Although the Sirens have played their part in the deaths of many, although they have commit sins, so have I. The difference though, is I have a chance to repent. That's why I will not run away from this war. That is why if I am exiled I will deal with the repercussions. When all this is over, after Ashba is permanently dead, my conscious is clear no matter if I become the monster I fear or not.

-----
Once again the camera is sitting on the nearby desk in front of me as I sit on my bed. Light shines in the room from the window nearby.

Would you look at that, Pest and I have something in common. The only difference is my ex tried killing me on live television because I got tired of asking how high when he told me to jump. The difference is even after that match, when I got away, it stopped being physical abuse and started becoming emotional.

I sighed and lean back on the bed.

I did the same thing you are doing this week only I did it a hell of a lot longer. Every time I stepped in the ring with a man I remembered the abuse I had gone through. I never picture myself facing Marcus though, I just imagined the person in front of me did what he did to me. I replaced Marcus with them, fucked up huh? Another difference is I was locked into a contract in the same company as Marcus so I had to see him backstage, watch him as he taunted me with other women and showing me the good parts that I missed by leaving him. And in the end, it almost ruined my career.

You'll probably be different though right? Erica isn't physically here in XWF, she won't be there physically in the ring, it'll be me. You don't have the same demon leaching on your back, or do you? Because if you picture me as someone else you're going to see her taunting you, expecting you to fall on your face. See, I had to learn that every time I faced someone and put them in Marcus's place I was letting him win. When I lost matches with those men I took it hard, really hard. The one thing I didn't factor in is they weren't Marcus and Marcus wasn't them. It's the same thing as Erica and myself. You picture Erica you're going to be expecting the same treatment Erica gave you and believe me I'm nothing like your ex girlfriend. I'm going to hit you with my fists, break you if I have to in order to win. I'm not going to stand in the middle of the ring and expect you not to hit me, I'm going to expect rage and you hitting harder than you've ever hit in your life. I'm going to expect anger and it's in anger that you make the most mistakes.

Have you ever heard you shouldn't make decisions when your emotions are heightened? There's a reason for that. For example, one night Marcus had a few drinks and was furious at me for a dint in the side of his car because of a shopping cart at the store. He was so mad he just started swinging and you know what happened? He got sloppy. While he was swinging and I was trying to get out of the way he sent his fist right into the wall and stopped after seeing his knuckles all bloody. When you pour anger into something, when you don't have a level head, you get sloppy. I got sloppy in the ring with those men when I pictured them in Marcus's place. So, what I'm trying to say is watch yourself Pest, you don't want to get sloppy with me because the moment you fuck up, the instant you gave me the sign that I can make a move I will. I don't care about how much pain I cause you, in fact, if I get you in a rollup and pull on your pants to keep you down I'll be cool with it. I'm not going off emotions or adrenaline, I'm going off pure instinct to win.

I smile and run my hand through my hair.

I guess that makes it sound like you are going to push harder because you have a lot of personal things you have to deal with and since I just see this as another match I'm not going to want this win as bad. In all actuality, I'm going in the ring with a clear head and one goal, win. While I don't have a personal vendetta that I'm trying to move past I do have other reason why I want to win. First of all, you are my first one on one male competitor. Currently, the Universal Champion has a penis and is considered a male. If I want to even get close to that championship I have to prove myself in this company that I can still take on men and win. If I can't beat you now then it kinda shows I'm only good in the women's division right? And like you've said in the past that doesn't promote much bragging rights. For me, losing this match is like taking three steps back from the previous one step forward I took by beating Jenny two times in a row. I'm here to prove that I belong on the top and while you don't necessarily question that I know there are people here who do. So, while what is pushing you, driving you to win this match is getting over an Ex, what's driving me is my intense desire to make my mark here in XWF. The biggest difference and why I'll win is the fact that you already aren't mentally unprepared for this match considering you have an emotional drive and not the drive to be better in the ring and this company. It's the sad truth.

Actually, let's talk about your mental stability for a moment, shall we? Not only are you focused on beating someone who isn't even here you have also been lying to yourself up to this point. Again, I know what that feels like and how that goes. I'm going to give you the spoiler and tell you it doesn't get you to the end of a match with your hand raised. It doesn’t drive you hard and long enough to make it to the end of a difficult match like the one you have this week. What you will end up with, Pest, is feeling more defeat and not because I'm a girl, no, because once again you will feel like you lost to Erica. How is that going to feel? Why put yourself in that position? The position to not only lose a match but a bit of your sanity. You might think you have the upper hand here but in all actuality you've given me an advantage if I wanted to use it. I'll just use Erica as leverage if I'm feeling up to "manipulation" this week. But seriously Pest, some friendly advice, leave your past outside of the ring because in the end it only counts against you when the bell rings.

I let out a sigh and sit back on the bed, obviously restless and in need of some gym time.

The only reason I said I was disappointed in you and you not watching anything I've done is because of the lack of you showing it in your first promotional, but then again, that first one doesn't really matter anymore since you don't believe the same things you said in it. After all, you've changed your tune so many times it really is hard to keep up with what you actually think. First it seems like you really don't care about anything I've done in this business let alone this company and the next you are talking about how you aren't trying to diminish my accomplishments? Didn't you say how it was sad that I thought carrying the Bombshell Championship was a great accomplishment? Pest, you need to get your story straight because I don't know if what you're telling me is a bunch of lies or not. Actually, from everything you've said this far you tried to be some tough ass mother fucker then finally admitted why your dick was confused this whole time. I think not only is your dick confused but the other head you have on your body is very confused, either that or you aren’t paying very close attention.

But let me move on to something else, you know, something to ease your already currently fucked mind. Yes, under normal conditions beating up a woman would result in you going to prison. However, in the ring, and honestly in general, if I hit you you are more than welcome, no, you are expected to hit me back and hit twice as hard as I did. That's another thing I love about wrestling, there are no gender roles here...Or at least there shouldn't be. If I go out in the middle of the ring and shit talk you and you come out I expect you to shit on me big time. If I slap you in the face I'm expecting you to send your fist into the middle of my face. Now as far as it being a joke if you lose to a woman, I mean, if you lost to one of the rookie women who just signed here then yes, you would be a joke. However, when I beat you it's not going to make you a joke. Reason being is the people who watch in the arena and at home, even some of the people on the roster, know I'm not just your average women in the women's division. They know I am willing to lay it all on the line in order to walk out a winner and put a show on. Whether they like me or hate me, one thing you won't hear them say is that I'm just some random girl off the streets who can't handle a beating or can’t throw a punch. So don't worry Pest, rest easy, you won't be made a joke when you lose to me.

With a smirk, I wink at the camera.


As far as these feelings of wanting to get to know me, don't. More friendly advice is don't make friends in federations and if you happen to, never drop your guard. A motherfucker can be the nicest person to your face and be your number one cheerleader but as soon as you turn your back they'll be going to management asking for a title shot and that's when true colors shine through. While I don't have to worry about that happening with you currently, because you have a dick obviously, I would have to worry about it when I get the Universal Championship and with the flip flopping in your promotionals I can see some serious friend conversations making their way to the light and I don't like my dirty laundry aired out for fans everywhere. Not saying you absolutely would but I'm also not saying you wouldn't.

I'm going to leave on this note. I'm not going to go easy on you and I'm not going to give you half my best. The way I look at it is losing is a learning experience and how do you learn if I don't give you my all? Besides, I wouldn't disrespect you like that. So expect my all, expect what you saw with Jenny. Expect that even if I'm hurt, even if I can barely breathe I'm still going to fight. We both have something to prove in this match whether it be personal or for everyone else to see, we still have something to prove. Like I said last time, if you thought Chris Chaos was a hard fucker to beat in the ring you haven't seen anything let. Chris is trying to raise from the fall he took, me, I'm just starting my rise and I'm going to make damn sure that I don't nosedive like he did. Now, if you’ll excuse me I have some training to get to.

The scene cuts to black.