Paul wake up we're here!

The spaceship carrying Random and Paul approaches a small black planet.

Random, it's so dark I can barely make it out.

It's camouflage, we don't want anybody to visit so it appears so dark to seem lifeless.

Just then the ship passes through a barrier revealing a bright red planet.

Is that it?

Yeah that's it.

Is it pretty down there?

Absolutely gorgeous, like nothing you've ever seen. Now, brace yourself.

Why?

This is a rocket we gotta gotta crash this bitch.

What!? Oh fuck!

The rocket smashes the ground kicking up dirt and sand high into the air. The hatch opens and Random jumps out.

I am back baby! Man it feels good to be home. Paul get out here!

Paul crawls out of the door barely able to stand.

It looks like hell.

Paul and Random survey the area. Trees and bushes are on fire, the ground is orange and desert like, large building and statues are scattered across the horizon.

Random, this is like mars but on fire.

I know isn't it great, come on I'll give you a tour.

Random and Paul walk around an ancient looking city. Random morphs into is planets natural form.



Do you all look like that?

Yeah, this is what my species looks like normally. If a human see us like this they normally catch fire. Why aren't you?

Random pokes Paul several times.

Stop that!

Anyways this is the Pit of Torment.

Paul looks over the ledge to see millions and millions of humans and other alien forms of life being tortured.

What the fuck? Are you sure this isn't Hell?

No way! This is better than Hell. Here we kidnap your dead body, bring you back to life, and then torture you for eternity.

Yeah, that sounds like hell.

No no, this is better trust me.

And here we have, what you would call a zoo.

Bird bat like creature screams heavy metal music from its beak.

Was that Megadeth?

Awesome right?

Random, are you Satan?

Who?

Satan, you know the devil?

What?! No fuck that guy. See he's in the Pit of Torment for being a fucking tool. And there's God beside him for Raping that girl and forcing her to have a rape baby.

So, why do you bring people here and torture them.

Random grabs Paul by the collar.

Because they are very bad people.

Motions Paul over to the pit.

You see those hooded guys down there? We killed them for being racist hateful fucks! And here they are.

Okay! okay! I get it. Why didn't I catch on fire when you showed me your true form?

Because, you've seen too much. More than any human should, and for that I am sorry. But, it's not all bad. You being mortal and being here makes you the strongest human in the race of humans. Congratulations.

Uhh, thanks.

Random lets go of Paul and dust off his shoulder.

No problem champ! Now this building here is where we need to go. The Temple of Devotion. Inside is the Cock Rod.

Random and Paul enter m the temple to find a large statue that looks like Random's race.



We have to get this big guy here hard.

Hard?

Yeah, a boner.

Um, why?

Because that will reveal the Cock Rod. Now, bare with me here, I am gonna have to blow you.

What?! No! No way!

Okay, then you blow me?

No I am not doing that either.

Paul it's the only way to get Gary back. Now relax.

Random gets on his knees and pulls out Paul's surprisingly large dick and starts to go down on him like a starving man eating a sausage. Just then the statue grows a massively hard cock and balls. The balls open up revealing The Cock Rod. Random jumps up and wipes his mouth and runs towards the Cock Rod. Paul collapses from pure pleasure.




This is it! The Cock Rod! Okay Paul bring me Gary’s body.

Paul struggles to get up with a huge smile on his face.

What do you mean?

Gary’s body so I can bring him back to life.

Random we didn't bring his body.

What!? You mean we forgot it? This whole trip was for nothing? I could of just trained like a normal wrestler? Fuck! This isn't happening! Damn it!

Random walks outside the temple and sits on the steps sulking. Paul walks up and sits beside him and puts his hand on his back.

Hey, buddy it's okay people make mistakes.

I need him, I need his help.

You don't need him. You don't need anyone. Look at what you did! You stopped an alternate earth from being destroyed by copies of your opponent. You fought through a stroke and killed all those idiots, and idiots they are. You are Random, you put me through Hell but I am still here because honestly, I don't know who I would be without you.

Ya mean it Paul?

Of course buddy now wipe them tears I know what will cheer you up. Wait, how do we get back to earth?

Oh, the portal.

The what?

We have a portal that takes us directly to earth and back.

Then why the hell did we go through all that shit!?

To see the sights, duh. Lets go!

Random and Paul go to the portal and are transported directly to earth.

Now, I have taken the liberty to find every child offender in a 50 mile radius. What do you say? You in?

Yes I’m in let's do this.

A montage insues of Random and Paul cutting the brake lines of Random cars while laughing and dancing in the streets. Several minutes pass.

Oh, that was fun.

They are in for a rude awakening.

Paul?

Yes Random?

You think we are gonna be okay on our own?

I think we are, I think we are.

Screen goes black.

In loving Memory of William Gary Busey.