Gary?!
Gary?!
Gary?!

Random shouts in sleep.

Ahhhhhh!

He wakes up startled, sweating, and breathing heavy.

Oh god what did I do? I killed the one great thing in my life. Nothing has been the same since. I don't get as high as I used too, I get booked for shows and I don't perform, I am the wrestling equivalent of erectile dysfunction. I need Gary Busey back in my life, but how? I know! The Cock Rod!

The Cock Rod?

Another Random sitting on the bed beside Random asks.

Ahhh what the fuck!

Original Random screams.

Who the fuck are you?

You're crazy bro just go with it.

Okay? Anyway The Cock Rod is an ancient artifact on my planet that can bring back the dead.

Right, but why is it called that?

Oh, because it's shaped like a human penis, and it goes inside you.

Inside you?

Yeah if you're a human female it goes were a penis normally goes. If you're a human male well it goes in their bum.

Their bum?

Yep, right in there!

In their bum?

Yes sir, right in the rectum.

In their bum?

In their bum.

Hmmm, in their bum….Well that's unfortunate.

Especially when they have too have it in there for a week.

Damn.

Yep.

Several awkward minutes pass,

Well I gotta go.

Wait aren't you a figment of my imagination?

Yea, but I gotta life too bro I can't just be up here with your crazy ass all day. I got shit to do.

What do you have to do?

Fuck bitches.

You mean dudes?

No the figment of your imagination is straight unlike you, you .

Oh...

Random says sadly. Imaginary Random exits the room.

I know what I have to do. Time to get the team back together.

Random exits the building and the screen goes black.

We arrive at a suburban home in a clean pristine neighborhood. Suddenly, a large Osprey aircraft with Garyplaneocopter written on the sides lands on a house utterly destroying it. Random hops out and walks to the house next door and knocks on the door. A woman in her mid to late 50’s opens the door.

Hello can I help you?

She says.

Yes ma’am is Paul home?

Why he most certainly is, he's sitting in his room. Who may I ask are you?

I am a friend of his he used to train me along time ago.

You're not that Random fella are you?

Uhhh no ma’am, I am not.

Good that horrible man, he’s reason my Paulie is the way he is now.

Well I am only wondering if I may see Paul for just a minute it’s been so long.

Of course, but only for a minute he needs his bath soon.

Random and Paul's mom walk inside and to Paul's bedroom. We find Paul sitting on the bed reading a comic.

Paul sweetie I brought a friend to see you.

Who’s this mom?

You'll have to forgive Paul he's been a little fuzzy since the Mental health hospital. I'll leave you two to catch up.

Paul's mom leaves the room.

So, Paul we need to go.

Go where?

We have to bring Gary back to life.

Who's Gary?

Who's Gary?! Wha.. I.. What is wrong with you?

What do mean?

Do you not remember anything?

Mommy said I had a special treatment done to forget the bad.

Look in my eyes Paul.

Paul stares into Random’s eyes for several minutes. Then suddenly…..

Shit. No! Get away from me! You ruined my life! Please God no! This isn't real. This isn't real.

Yep.

Random picks up a crying balled up Paul and leaves with him on his shoulder. Paul's mom runs outside as the Garyplaneocopter starts take off.

Bring him back he hasn't had his bath!

Screen goes black.

We return with Random carrying Paul across a launch pad and onto a Spacecraft.

Alright Paul stop crying I need you and Gary back.

Gary is dead you killed him, and all the shit you put me through I am barely stable.

Relax you're fine. Geez you'd think a guy could handle some light torture and being exposed to traumatic gross murders.

No! You wouldn't think that. Where are we going anyways.

My planet.

Are you crazy this is a rocket to resupply the Space station. This isn't going to even make it to the moon let alone another planet.

Relax I put cocaine in the engine. It always gets me high.

Are you high right now?!

Yes, but not as high as I could be. That's why we need to get Gary back. He pushed me to go harder in my life. Get higher, train harder, fight better, I need him again Paul.

You literally just got high and raped people. Let me off here I don't want to be apart of this and die.

Too late.

Random hit the ignition and the rocket soars towards space. Once the rocket brakes the atmosphere something goes wrong.

Somethings wrong. All these alarms probably means that.

Well what's wrong?

I don't know I've never done this before.

I thought you knew what you were doing.

Random turns to Paul.

Have you learned anything from me?

Suddenly the rocket is pulled back into Earth’s gravity and beings falling back to earth.

Okay, so we are crashing.

Oh god! We are gonna die. This isn't happening, I just want to be back home with mother. Why do you do this to me?

Brace for impact.

The screen goes black. Moments later we see a crashed spaceship burning in a field. Out from under the ship we see Random pulling Paul from the wreckage. Random carries him from the ship just before it explodes.

Paul wake up.

What? Huh?

We're alive. But I have no idea where we are. Let's walk around and see what we can find.

A montage of endless walking ensues until the two arrive at a beach. Random stops and drops to his knees.

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

Blew what up? I don't see anything but some destroyed buildings.

They blew up my favorite Taco Bell. It's all I had on this shit planet that made me happy.

Seriously?

Random jumps up and grabs Paul by his collar.

Do you know what this means? We are back on earth, and it's blown to Hell. Or we are in some other dimension where earth is ruled by thousands of Ezariahas.

Why do you say that?

Random turns Paul around to reveal thousands of Ezariahains standing on the dunes above them.

Run.

Random and Paul take off running but are quickly apprehended by a few Ezariahains.

Well we are fucked.

The screen goes black.

We come to a primitive settlement run by thousands of people with the face of Ezariaha. Random and Paul are bound and thrown into a cage, a stick is propped against the door to keep them in. Guards stand near the cage.

Well this blows.

Are you kidding me we are going to die here.

Oh relax, these people are idiots.

What do you mean?

Well for one look at your hands.

Paul looks down to see that he is bound with a single rubber band.

Rubber bands?

Yea, and they put a stuck up against the door to keep us in. I am gonna assume they've never done this before.

Random takes off his rubber band and moves the stick from the door.

What are you doing what about the guards?

What about them? Look they are seriously sleeping while standing up. Lets go while we have the chance.

Where are we going to go?

I don't but I think being here is making have a stroke.

Randoms face begins to droop to one side.

Lets go!

Random and Paul escape the settlement and into the woods where they come across a cabin.

Let's stay here for the night.

Random and Paul enter to find it abandoned. There's some old mattresses on the floor and a bucket with questionable liquid.

Alright I am gonna go to sleep.

I don't think I can.

Well come cuddle.

No, on second thought I will manage.

They both fall asleep. Several hours pass, Paul periodically screams in terror in his sleep, while Random peacefully snoozes away. A mysterious figure enters the room and throws the bucket of liquid on Random’s face.

Oh god! It burns! It burns so bad.

Random screams as he's awaken suddenly. He wipes his eyes to reveal a familiar presence.

Gary?

To be continued…..