WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 13, 2017 THE CANADIAN TOUR CONTINUES IN TORONTO, ONTARIO... THIS IS WEDNESDAY NIGHT WARFARE!!!! LIVE FROM THE AIR CANADA CENTRE!!

Ben Gazzi - vs - John Holliday Standard Match Robbie Bourban, Jack Cain, Travis McCoy - vs - The Sugay Sisters and Kennedy Robinson Standard Match Michael Petrovic - vs - Mark Brooks - vs - Kropotkin - vs - Finn Kuhn Winner Receives A Hart Title Match Standard Match The Engineer - vs - Jim Caedus Standard Match "The Radical" Gabe Reno - vs - Micheal Graves Cadryn guest ref Chris Chaos - vs - Danny Imperial Standard Match Hart Championship Match Drake - vs - Peter Gilmour MAIN EVENT Universal Championship Match James Raven - vs - Chasm 3 RP - 2500 Word Limit

The camera cuts backstage as Theo, Doc, Madison and Cadryn are in their locker room prepared to head out to the ring. The door bursts open, scaring the literal piss out of Cadryn.

John Samuels walks in with his gym bag slung over one shoulder, and a thick steel chain connected to a dog collar wrapped around the neck of Barney Green. "Who gets it tonight?"

Theo raises an eyebrow "Didn't you retire?"

Samuels sets down his bag and yanks the chain, Barney stumbles forward with an empty 5 gallon bucket in his hands. "Yeah but I got bored."

"That was like a week ago, if that."

"Turns out I have a really short attention span."

"And what about Peter taking your spot?"

"Check it out! I had the greatest idea."

Samuels grabs The Engineer's crown from the nearby stool and places it in the bottom of the bucket in Barney's hands. He directs Barney to the corner of the dressing room where Cadryn is allowed to get dressed. Samuels pulls out two empty boxes of Ex-Lax and hands Theo, Doc and Madison gas masks. He hands Cad a Little Tree air freshener and motions for him to wear it around his nose.

"Fill 'er up, Barn."

---

Ben Gazzi - vs - John Holliday Standard Match

The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Benghazi, Libya, he weighs in at 250 pounds, BEN GAZZI!!

The heat from the crowd is instantaneous!

We are two days removed from the anniversary of 9/11. It'll be a miracle of this man makes it out of the building alive!





As the ISIS anthem hits, all the screens in the arena devolve into static, before popping back on with shot after shot of the planes hitting the twin towers on 9/11!

Oh for God sakes!

The heat is REAL!

The crowd is going INSANE! Security has to stop people in the front row from jumping the barrier. The horrific scenes from 9/11 continue to play out, including graphic imagery of people jumping from the World Trade Center to their deaths, the towers collapsing, and dogs scanning the rubble afterwards looking for body parts. And then, the man himself appears from behind the curtain. Ben Gazzi has a mic.

ALLAHU AKBAR! These images of death and destruction were brought about by your wicked, slovenly imperialistic culture!

Ben Gazzi gets in the ring, still ranting.

[yellow]For me, the anniversary of 9/11 is a holiday, like your Christmas! Except my presents are looking at the pictures of the mangled American bodies being dragged from the wreckage of your capitalist excess, you filthy infidel long pigs! [/yelow]

Someone turn off his mic!

And, as if on cue, Gazzi's diatribe is interrupted by Iron Maiden!





And his opponent, he hails from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and weighs in at 240 pounds....JOHN HOLLIDAY!

Holliday explodes out from the back, giant American flag in hand! The boos turn to pops as Holliday points at Ben Gazzi. He rolls into the ring, propping the flag up in the corner. Ben Gazzi rolls out of the ring, jawwing at Holliday.

A little jingoistic, and Hacksaw Jim Duggan might like to have a word, but I can't shit on him too hard given the circumstances.

The referee tries to summon Ben Gazzi into the ring, but he waves him off. Holliday laughs and shakes his head, taking a moment to run the ropes and strut a bit in light of his opponent's cowardice. But just then, Ben Gazzi jumps the bell! He slides into the ring, darting to his feet and catching John off guard! He starts laying into John with vicious right hooks as the ringside team catches a clue and hastily rings the bell.

That bomb vest wearing bastard using some dirty tricks to get an edge!

Ben Gazzi whips John into the ropes and catches him with a lariat on the rebound. John goes down hard, and Gazzi is on him instantly. He picks John up by the hair before nailing him with a big suplex. Ben follows that up by reaching into his vest and pulling out....

Jesus, is that a detonator?!!!

Duck and cover, bitches!

Ben presses down the button on the detonator multiple times, and looks around in confusion when nothing happens. Finally, he goes to just bean John over the head with it, but John blocks and muscles Ben up into a spine buster and drills him into the canvas! John doesn't stop there, he picks Ben up by the mask and lights him up with some stiff chops, backing him up into the corner. John then mounts the turnbuckle (the one with the flag) and starts punching Ben to the count of 10! The crowd naturally counts along...

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

6...

7...

8...

9...

10!

Ben stumbles out of the corner, right into the waiting arms of his opponent, who deftly scoop slams him, before dropping a big elbow down on his face. Holliday goes for the pin!

1....BEN GAZZI KICKS OUT!

Seeing that that won't do, John picks the terrorist up again, delivers a thumb to his eye and a quick snap suplex! John then goes to the top rope (yes, the one with the flag, naturally). He signals to the crowd, who roar in support! John takes flight, decimating Ben with a big time splash! But just when it looks like John is about to go for the pin, he picks Ben Gazzi up and forces him to his feet again!

John looking to punish Ben Gazzi here tonight!

JOHN HITS THE HOLLIDAY SEASON! He goes for the cover!

1...

2...JOHN PICKS BEN'S HEAD UP! He shakes his head “no” at the ref!

John forces Ben to his feet once again before delivering yet ANOTHER earth shattering HOLLIDAY SEASON! John nods at the referee, flashing a winning smile. The ref counts down Ben Gazzi once again.

1.....


2.....


3!!!

The bell sounds and the fans' cheers echo throughout the arena!

Here is your winner, JOHN HOLLIDAY!

John then picks Ben Gazzi up and unceremoniously dumps him over the top rope. He then grabs the flag and waves it around to the delight of the fans.

Well, good triumphs over evil and all is well. Parents can tuck their children into bed tonight knowing that ISIS has been held at bay one more time.

I can't think of a more fitting start to the show.

I'm sure we have tons more horrific atrocities in store. Michael Graves is on the card, after all.

Ever the optimist. We'll be right back in just a sec.

Winner: John Holliday

---

Robbie Bourban, Jack Cain, Travis McCoy - vs - The Sugay Sisters and Kennedy Robinson Standard Match

“The following match has a lot riding on it. There were many things said, vicious things, but mainly from Tala Sugay. You have to believe Huey, Tala is the number one target in this match.”

“I do have to agree with you there JR, but I also have to say Tala is just trying to get her face noticed.”

“Maybe so, but Huey not all attention is good attention. Will she pay the cost when she gets in the ring tonight?”

“I think there’s a slim chance she might be able to outsmart the Motherfuckers, but it’s going to be a close call!”

”The following contest is a six-person MIXED tag team match! Introducing first…”





The lights dim low and fans rise to their feet when pink and purple spotlights start waving throughout the arena. "Queen of the World" - Ida Maria hits over the P.A. system and a very seductively Sugay Sisters’ titantron start playing.

”They are representing the temporary team of PMS v.2 and the Sugay Sisters… TALA AND JASLENE SUGAY!”

With the fans filling the arena with boos and even chants of “slut,” Tala and Jaslene Sugay hustle out from behind the black entrance curtains. They have their arms in the air as they antagonize the fans. They pause at the top of the ramp. They lean toward each other and gives each other a peck on the lips before leaning back up. Jaslene slides her hands down the sides of her body while Tala is waving a middle finger to the fans. They grab each other’s left hands and start strutting down the ramp. They pretend to go high-five a fan, but sykes them out as they pull their hands away. They laugh as Tala adjusts her baseball cap. They make their way to the apron and Tala slides beneath the ropes as Jaslene pulls herself up onto the apron by the ropes. Tala kneels up as Jaslene climbs up the second rope and raises her arms. Tala stands on the bottom rope and tips over the top rope as she glares at the crowd. Jaslene backflips inside the ring and she starts chanting, “Let’s go Sugay army!” while clapping.” Tala steps off the bottom rope and walks over to her baby sister and places her arm around Jaslene’s shoulder. They walk backwards to the corner and leans against the turnbuckle as they stare up at the entrance ramp. The fans continue to boo while their theme fades. The lights turn back on when the spotlights fade.

“I was hoping to see all three ladies on the same page, but it looks like Tala continues to refuse to acknowledge Kennedy as her partner.”

Tala is treating Kennedy like Jenny treated her, it seems like.”

“Left hand, got the gun One finger on the trigger I might pull it once I feel the liquor Put your bets on the table Got you praying, call the bishop Feel the bass when I hit it, pick up” The sounds of Niykee Heaton’s “Devil” come over the Public Announce system and blares through the arena as the fans start to boo because they know who is about to come out.

“And their partner, hailing from New Orleans, she stands in at 5 feet, 6 inches… KENNEDY ROBINSON!”





The camera moves onto the ramp where from behind the curtain the beautiful Kennedy Robinson comes out with a big smirk on her face. The fans continue to boo the stunning blonde as she sticks her hand in the air. Kennedy walks closer towards the descending ramp at to go to the ring when she places her hands in her hair and before she bends over towards her toes and flips her hair back up with a smile. [cemter]”They see us walking We're the talk of the town There ain't no stopping us now”[/center] At the sound of her name Kennedy starts to walk down the declining part of the ramp with a smile on her face, as the fans continue to boo for her she throws her right hand into the air. ” Call the bishop Save me 'cause the Lord ain't listening now We're the talk of the town Call me what you want I'm a rebel 'til the devil go down I'm a rebel, I'm a rebel 'til the devil, 'til the devil go down” As Kennedy makes her way down to ringside she walks around the ring instead of heading up the stairs as she does she passes closely to the guardrail as she starts to give the fans the finger in the row, as she passes around the ring the fans continue to boo the beautiful diva. As Kennedy makes her way across the entire ringside area, when she makes it to the stairs she starts to ascend them. As she climbs the stairs one by one the boos from the fans get a bit louder. As the beauty makes her way up to the ring apron she stops in the dead center of the apron, she enters the ring under the top rope. Kennedy comes into the ring and walks over towards the turnbuckle nearest her. She then climbs up to the middle turnbuckle, throwing her arms into the air as the fans begin to boo once again. Kennedy brings herself back down and goes over to the center. Throwing her arms into the air once more ”Devil” start to fade out the sounds of a new theme ring throughout the arena.

“Kennedy is making her debut and you know she’ll want to make a good first impression.”

“Yeah, but it looks like the Sugay Sisters were able to manipulate her just a bit.”

“And introducing their opponents weighing in a combined weight of 618 pounds: they are team Motherfuckers… JACK CAIN, AND ROBBIE BOURBON!!”




Bad Motherfucker by Machine Gun Kelly feat. Kid Rock hits over the P.A. system and the fans start to cheer as Jack Cain and Robbie Bourbon,make their way out to the top of the ramp. They pause at the ramp and stare at each other, before looking down at the ring. They quickly make their way down to the ring and hop on the ring apron. Some step over the second rope and others go over the top, entering the ring. As they let the ring, the ladies coward in the corner eyeing the boys who continue to take in the fans appreciation. Tala and Jack continue to eye each other as the theme slowly comes to an end.

“Did you see the look Jack and Tala were giving each other? It doesn’t look like there’s any love lost between those individuals.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised to see these two clash in the middle of that ring tonight, JR!”


"And their opponent from St. Louis, Missouri, weighing in at 250 pounds....TRAVIS MCCOYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!"





Travis McCoy makes his way out from the back. He slowly ascends the ring steps, climbs through the ropes and takes his place in his team's corner with the Mother Fuckers.


(ding, ding, ding)


“It looks like the match is about to start, but the women are having a difficult time deciding which one of them are going to start the match!”

Upon the bell sounding, Jazzy and Tala look over to each other after staring at their opponents, then suddenly shove Kennedy across the ring. Kennedy flies across the ring and inadvertently rams into Jack Cain. Jack turns around and eyes her as Kennedy starts backing up defensively from him. Robbie and Travis exit to the apron as Cain reaches and clutches a handful of Kennedy’s hair. He easily lifts her up off the mat and tosses her back into the corner. He rushes her, but she spins out of the way. He hits the top turnbuckle hard and rakes his eyes! She clutches a handful of his hair and leaps up with a sit-out facebuster!

“I was wondering just how Kennedy would fend off with these guys and it looks like she’ll be just fine on her own.”

“Are you kidding me? The girl is just plain old T&A!”

Kennedy is on his chest and she starts pounding his head against the mat, but he tosses her off him! He’s up first and as she gets up to her feet, Cain connects with a thunderous clothesline: nearly beheading Kennedy. She stumbles down to the mat and kneels against the second rope. Cain runs off the side ropes and charges Kennedy, but Tala with a fist of fury punch to Cain’s nose!

“Cain has been busted wide open early on!”

“Tala seems to have a territorial issue brewing with Jack Cain. I don’t know what that is all about!”

Tala tags herself in and she sprints inside the ring, ducking a clothesline. She runs off the ropes and bounces off as she jumps on Lou Thesz Press, followed by punches to the face! The referee is warning her, but she’s relentless in her attack on Cain. The referee starts to count her out: 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – Tala finally breaks the hold and stands up. She leans down to pick him up, but Cain easily lifts her up over his shoulders. She rolls him down with a modified victory roll! The referee slides down to the mat: 1 – 2 – Cain powers out! Cain is to his feet and she runs, but big boot by Jack Cain!

“That’s one way to slow down Hurricane Tala, but she is a spitfire when she wants to be!”

“I bet Jack Cain didn’t expect that much resilience from Ms. Tala, eh?”

Tala rolls around on the canvas as Cain walks over to his corner and TAGS Robbie inside the ring.

“Jack has made the tag and now it looks like Robbie is going to cause some damage!”

Tala is starting to crawl to her feet, but Robbie walks over to her, lifting her up. He turns her around and whips her across the ring. She bounces off the ropes and ducks under his arm. She runs off the opposite side ropes and leaps up with a running crossbody, but Robbie catches her in midair! He holds her up, but Jaslene and Kennedy sneak up behind him with a running low-angled clothesline to both his kneecaps. Travis and Jack try to aid his partner, but Tala falls over Robbie as he goes down to the mat: 1 – Robbie throws Tala off!

“Well, that’s one way to attempt a pin over Robbie, but it wasn’t nearly enough to keep the big man on the mat.”

“No, but we finally get to see the brawl between Tala Sugay and Robbie Bourbon who have had words with each other back and forth all week!”

Tala quickly crawls to her corner and tags in Jaslene! Robbie is up to his feet as Jaslene steps under the second rope. She’s inside the ring, quite nervous as she looks around at the fans look insane! Suddenly, a madman in the front row hops the barricade and enters the ring!

“What in the world is this lunatic think he’s doing!?”

“I don’t know, but he’s headed straight for the ring.”

The lunatic fan slides inside the ring and jolts for Jaslene Sugay! As he goes at Jaslene with a knife who looks utterly confused, Robbie Bourbon steps out and in front of Jaslene! The fan unintentionally stabs Robbie who ultimately sacrifices himself for Jaslene!

“Robbie has just been stabbed!”

Robbie fights through the pain as he lunges at the crazed fan and grabs him while Jaslene arches over Robbie. Jaslene connects with a high knee kick to the face of the fan! She hits him in the teeth as he falls to the canvas and security rushing in the ring to handle the fan. Meanwhile, Robbie starts to make an exit and Jaslene follows him.

“Where the hell is Jaslene going? Doesn’t she realize she still has a match!?”

“I don’t know about all that, but she’s assisting the man who just stepped out and took a knife blow for her.”

Tala and Kennedy look bluntly confuse while Jack and Travis sneak up behind the girls. Not expecting it, both girls get laid out on their faces with a double forearm smashes to the back of the heads! The referee tries to maintain order as Jack kicks Tala out of the ring and Travis is alone with Kennedy. He lifts her up and whips her into the corner. He races toward Kennedy in the corner with a roaring forearm in mind, but Kennedy gets a boot up to Travis face! Kennedy sprints out of the corner with a bicycle kick, nearly knocking Travis’ teeth down.

Kennedy using any solid move to help her get the advantage against the much bigger and stronger Travis McCoy!

“It’s a good game plan, but Kennedy needs to be able to follow it up. It doesn’t look like she’s in a position to do that!

Kennedy looks to go and tag in Tala, but Travis grips her ankle. He’s down on the mat, but holding her back from tagging in her partner. Travis yanks her back and the pull forces her down on the mat. Travis pushes himself up and holds his mouth in pain as Kennedy stumbles up to her feet, but from behind Travis with a giant German suplex! He bridges the hold as the referee slides down to the mat: 1 – 2 – Tala with a double forearm to her midsection. She starts to taunt Jack who tries to enter the match, but the referee prevents him from doing so.

“Travis nearly had Kennedy with that German suplex, but Hurricane Tala wasn’t about to let it be over that quickly.”

“Look at Tala, taunting Cain. Does this girl have a death wish?”

Kennedy arches her back off the mat as she’s in serious pain and Travis gets up to look over at Tala. Tala wastes no time and bounces off the mat as she spears Travis down to the mat, trying to break him in half! Travis clutches his stomach in pain while rolling around the mat. Tala steps out on the apron and starts begging for the tag. As Kennedy is hanging over the second rope near Cain’s corner. He runs along the outside apron and scores with a vicious running knee to her face!

“OH MY GOD! Kennedy Robinson’s nose has just been busted wide open! What a dirty tactic from Jack Cain!”

“We have two people bleeding in the match now and two people who need to make the tag!”

Travis is first up to his feet and he walks over to Kennedy: leaning down and lifting the sex symbol up by her hair. He yanks her over to the corner and Cain sticks his foot up on the top turnbuckle. Travis smashes Kennedy’s face into the soles of Cain’s foot. She leans back in the corner and Travis tags Cain. Cain and Travis grab a helpless Kennedy out of the corner. They whip her across the ring and as she bounces off the ropes, they lift her up with a single handed spinebuster, planting her in the middle of the ring!

“Oh come on guys, Kennedy is just a girl and they are performing double team moves on her!”

“Kennedy did invite them to a gang bang after the show, but tt looks like Tala is ready to fly right now!”

The fans are roaring as Travis turns around and Tala leaps off the top rope with a double knee drop! Travis down on the mat and Cain turns his attention to Tala, but Tala with a slap across the face! He clutches his cheek and stares at her in disgust, but as he reaches for her—the referee forces her back to the corner.

“Tala keeps poking the dragon and sooner or later he’s going to bite back.”

“I think that’s what Tala is waiting on!”

Cain covers Kennedy, who still has barely moved as the referee slides down to the mat: 1 – 2 – Kennedy just barely gets a shoulder up and Cain looks furious. Cain grabs Kennedy up to her feet and whips in her the side ropes, but Tala blind tags herself in! As Kennedy bounces off the ropes, Jack Cain with a punch to her mouth!

“TKO! TKO! TKO ON KENNEDY!”

“Yes, but he doesn’t realize Tala just tagged herself in.”

As he goes for the cover, the referee is trying to tell him Kenendy is not the legal woman. Anyway, Tala grabs Cain from behind: pulling him off Kennedy. She tosses him back down on the mat with a hair-pull mat slam! As he sits up, she runs off the ropes with a shoot kick to the chest! He holds his chest, but then she starts to repeatedly nail him in the chest with shoot kicks! Cain finally peels over and Tala turns around: running with a forearm smash to Travis, nearly knocking him off the apron.

“Tala did say she was going to bring it like a hurricane tonight and she’s been holding true to her words!”

“I can’t believe how the women, or Tala and Kennedy, are holding their own against these two superstars!”

Cain is stumbling up to his feet, as he’s holding his chest. She charges him, but Cain lifts her up off the mat with snap powerslam! He hooks the leg: 1 – 2 – Tala gets a shoulder up! She arches her back and lets out a cry. As Travis is still trying to enter the ring, he keeps the referee distracted and Tala kneels in front of Cain as she gives him an uppercut between the legs!

“Oh my God, what a low blow!”

“Tala resorted to any tactic necessary to bring her team to victory.”

As both Cain and Tala are in the ring, Cain rushes Tala with an attempt to knock her out with a single knockout punch, but she slides between his legs. He turns around and she attempts to monkey flip him, but he lifts her up by the legs. He lifts her onto his shoulders and as he goes for a move, Tala starts to elbow herself off his shoulders. He staggers back and shakes the cobwebs off. She side steps and scores with a SUPERKICK!

“The J.T.E., but Cain is still on his feet!”

“Tala Sugay cannot believe it!”

Tala steps back and she hits another SUPERKICK! This time he goes down!

“Two J.T.E. laid out Jack Cain!”

Travis McCoy races across the ring, but as he attempts to grab Tala’s weave from behind. Kennedy from behind with an uppercut low blow. Tala swings around with a spinning heel kick on Kennedy, thinking she was McCoy! Kennedy stumbles down to the mat and both competitors roll out of the ring. Cain stumbles up to his feet, dazed from both superkicks, and he uses the ropes to gain his balance. Tala runs up from behind him and rolls Cain up with an reverse bridging sunset flip!

“Can this be it? Can Tala Sugay leave with an upset over the Motherfuckers!?”

ONE!!







TWO!!!








THREE!!!!!

Winner: The Sugay Sisters

---

Michael Petrovic - vs - Mark Brooks - vs - Kropotkin - vs - Finn Kun Standard Match Winner Receives a Hart Title Match

“The following contest is a fatal four way one falls and it is for a Hart’s Championship title shot. Introducing first…



“Ace of Spades” by Motorhead hits over the p.a. system and the fans immediately erupt with cheers as they all stand to their feet.

“Being accompanied by his wife and current XWF Bombshell’s Champion Miss Michelle, hailing from Boston, standing 6 feet 1 inch, and weighing 225 pounds… MARK BROOKS!”

Mark Brooks strolls out from the back and with his back turned to his fans; he starts to twirl his hips around and shaking his booty to the fans cheering. As he swirls around, Miss Michelle comes strutting to the side of her fiancé. He takes her by the hand as she twirls around him and he dips her low as he leans down to kiss her lips. He lifts her up and she starts to walk down the ramp with her hand clasp around his bicep. They make their way down the ramp and she walks over to the steel steps as he jumps on the ring apron. She steps up on it and he holds the ropes open and she raises her arms in the air as the male viewers begin whistling. He steps over the second rope and hustles across the ring, jumping on the second turnbuckle, and raising his hands to his waist and circling it as he pretends to already be the Hart Champion. His theme becomes cut off just before he steps down from the corner and he along with Miss Michelle turn toward the entrance ramp.

“And hailing all the way from Zvornik, Republika Srpska, Bosnia and Herzegovina, weighing 250 pounds, and standing in at 6 feet, 4 inches… MICHAEL Petrović !”



A cacophony of voices can be heard over the speakers, various overlapping sound bites in BCS (Bosnian, Serbian, and Croatian). After a few seconds, the X-Tron comes to life showing the accompanying clips: Radovan Karadžić speech on the Croatian War, Ratko Mladić speaking to Srebrenician civilians, Naser Orić rambling in an interview, and so on. As the clip show continues the audio overlapping intensifies until all that can be heard is an unrelenting wall of noise. Then, the sound cuts and the X-Tron fades to black.

“And now introducing their opponent, hailing from the unknown, weighing 227 pounds, and standing 6 feet, 4 inches… KROPOTKIN!”



The lights dim as Kropotkin walks to the ring slowly.

“And introducing the final participant, hailing from Frankfurt, Germany, standing 6 feet, 3 inches, and weighing 200 pounds… FINN KUHN”




No Mercy begins it's slow beginning, with all lights in the arena going out sans a lone spotlight at the stage. After a few seconds, Finn comes out with his head bowed, hands behind his back and a black hooded jacket being worn. Finn begins to slowly walk his way to the ring, the spotlight following him. As the song begins to say, "No Mercy..." for the first time, Finn kneels on one knee, hands going to the metal grate, and as the song revs up, Finn shoots up, removing his hood and runs into the ring. From there, Finn poses on the turnbuckle for the fans, and bounces on his feet as he prepares for the match.

(ding, ding, ding)

“And it looks like all four men are off to a rough start!”

Mark Brooks and Kropotkin temporarily forget about each other as they charge the other two. Michael is clearly taking Petrović down with a dropkick while Kropotkin catches Kuhn with a leg lariat! Kuhn rolls out of the ring and Brooks eyes Kropotkin who kneels up, looking over at Brooks. Petrović is up to his feet and grabs Brooks up from behind. He spins around and tosses him over the top rope. With his back turned, Kropotkin lifts him up and drops Petrović on his knee with an atomic drop!

“It seems like Mark Brooks and Kropotkin are starting to take out the weaker challenges in this match.”

“Smart veterans. Make it a one on one. Cleaner that way.”

Holding his ass, he falls to the mat and Kropotkin runs off the ropes, but Brooks grabs him by the ankles and drops him onto his face. Brooks reenters the ring and he grabs Petrović up to his feet. He whips him into the ropes and Mark Brooks lifts him up for a flapjack, but instead Kropotkin uses Brooks’ hold and scores with a jumping heel kick! Petrović tumbles down to the mat and Kuhn runs up behind Kropotkin pushing him into the corner. Brooks catches Kuhn with a side kick to the gut. He lifts him up with gutbuster and chinlock combination, but off the second rope flies Kropotkin with a leg drop!

“Another example of teamwork from two guys who have no desire of ever tagging with each other.”

“Some of the best tag teams have very little chemistry in the beginning.”

Kuhn and Petrović are down still as Brooks and Kropotkin start headbutting each other: trash talking. They start to shove each other. Kuhn and Petrović get up to their feet and both Brooks and Kropotkin catch them with a superkick to the chin! Kropotkin goes for the cover on Kuhn: 1 – 2 – KICKOUT, but Brooks is covering Petrović: 1 – 2 – KICKOUT! Brooks with a running clothesline, but Kropotkin ducks and Brooks runs off the ropes. He holds them still and Kropotkin charges Brooks. Brooks with back body drop, but Kropotkin lands on the apron. Brooks goes to turn around, but Kropotkin is yanked off the apron by MISS MICHELLE!

“What the hell is Miss Michelle doing? She cannot inject herself in the match!”

“But it looks like Mark Brooks is alone in the ring with both Michael and Finn.”

Brooks turns around into a double kick to the stomach by Petrović and Kuhn. They hook the arm and flip him overhead with a double suplex! Brooks arches his back off the rope and Petrović goes to run off the ropes, but Kuhn runs at him with a running high knee. He stumbles around as he holds his face. Kuhn grabs him from behind with a BACKSTABBER! Kuhn hits the knife in the back as Petrović rolls out of the ring, but Kropotkin is arguing outside the ring with Miss Michelle. Kuhn goes for the cover: 1 – 2 – Brooks makes the save and Kropotkin quickly reenters the ring.

“I almost thought Kropotkin was going to steal an early victory right there, but Mark Brooks made the save in the nick of time.”

“I hope Peter is watching this match because one of these guys might just be the one to end his reign as Hart Champion.”

Kropotkin grabs Brooks from behind and plants him with a reverse DDT! He leaps up to his feet as Kuhn stumbles up to his. He hooks the head and collides with the mat as he connects with the sister Abigail! The Red Rosa and the crowd go insane! Kropotkin goes for the cover as the referee slides down to the mat: 1 – 2 – Miss Michelle is on the apron! She stops the count as the referee becomes distracted by her. Kropotkin looks pissed! Kropotkin gets up to his feet looking over at Michelle, but Brooks sneaks up behind him. He lifts him up with a backbreaker against the knee!

“Somebody put that jezebel in her place!”

“She’s just doing what any supportive wife would do.”

Kropotkin arches his back off the mat and Brooks lifts him up. He whips Kropotkin off into the ropes, but Kropotkin bounces back with a leg lariat across the chest of Brooks! Kropotkin stands back as Brooks wobbles up to his feet. Kropotkin charges at him and leaps as he nails Brooks in the side of the face with a superman punch! Brooks hits the mat and Kropotkin quickly go for the cover: 1 – 2 – Brooks gets a shoulder up as Miss Michelle starts pounding the mat, cheering her husband on!

“I’m surprised Brooks was able to kick out of that move, but Kropotkin and Mark Brooks have built up some unnecessary tension this week, if I do say so myself.”

“They both want a shot at the Hart Championship and realize they have to go through each other.”

Brooks is staggering up to his feet while Kropotkin is taunting him up, but Petrović is back up to his feet. He runs up behind Kropotkin with a running forearm to the head. Kropotkin is blindsided for an instance and Petrović lifts him up with a delayed vertical suplex! Kuhn runs at him, but Petrović moves out of the way. He runs into Brooks, who flips him up with a flapjack over the top rope! Finn holds his throat as he falls to the mat. Petrović turns to Brooks and he swings, but Brooks blocks it with a kick to the midsection. He connects with an inverted headlock backbreaker!

“Petrović was just laid out by the 3.0!”

“I think Michael wasn’t above average after all.”

Before he can go for the cover, Kropotkin falls off the top rope and catches Brooks off his feet with a top rope moonsault. He hooks the legs: 1 – 2 – Brooks kicks out. Kropotkin runs with a clothesline, but Brooks with a drop toe hold. He grabs by the head and flops down with a sitout jawbreaker! He staggers backwards and bounces off the ropes, but Brooks nearly beheads him with a roundhouse kick! While he’s kneeled on the mat, Brooks attempts a curb stomp, but Kropotkin rolls out of the way. Kuhn is there and he swings with a standing clothesline, but Brooks ducks. Kropotkin meets him with ANOTHER Red Rosa! He goes for the cover: 1 – 2 – Brooks with a running forearm smash.

“Finn Kuhn probably should have stayed at home because I think Kropotkin has his number.”

“Might JR? Have you been watching the same match as me!?”

Brooks grabs Kropotkin by the tights and he runs with him face first into the corner turnbuckle, shoulder first! Kropotkin rolls his arm as he stumbles out of the corner. He leans against the ropes and unexpected of Brooks running at him with a clothesline over the top rope. Kuhn rolls out of the ring and Petrović starts to stumble up to his feet. Petrović stumbles around and Mark Brooks with a superkick right to the kisser!

“That’s what he calls the Mark of Excellence, but is it enough to win him the match!?”

“This match seemed to be very fast pace and a back and forth between only two of the four men!”

Brooks makes a cover!!!

ONE!!!





TWO!!!










THREE!!!!!!!

Kropotkin jumped across the ring to stop the count but was too late!

Winner: Mark Brooks

---

The Engineer - vs - Jim Caedus Standard Match

Alright fans, we've got a helluva match coming up next. Former Universal Champion Jim Caedus goes head-to-head with the winner of the King of the Ring Tournament and the XWF Xtreme Champion, The Engineer!

He may have won the tournament, Old Man, but he no King. You hear what Bossman Lane said.

Well, regardless what the Bossman has to say, Engy earned his victories. I'm anxious to see what the new champ has to bring to Mr. Caedus tonight.

Caedus is a loose cannon, Old Man. If he can't hold it together, he's doomed

Loose cannon? Did you forget about the Engineer, Luca? Both of these men have hinges with a little play in them.

The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the XWF Xtreme Championship!



The now familiar opening notes to "Ready Steady Go" by Paul Oakenfold begin to blast from the PA moments before the ring announcer plugs. The fans erupt. As the spiel is unloaded the lights cut, plunging the arena in darkness before silver strobes begin to flash and silver spotlights begin to continuously wave from along the length of the entrance walkway to the crowd and back.

Intrdocuing first, the challenger! From Naples Island, Long Beach, California and weighing 230 pounds...... Jim Caedus!

Obviously practiced and well-timed, the moment the announcer finishes, "ready, steady, g-g-go!" is let fly by the song's vocalist and silver pyro erupts from the egress. Before the cloud of smoke dissipates, the former XWF Universal Champion Jim Caedus, sadly sans strap, steps out as the house lights come up.

His hair hangs freely, emotion absent in his eyes. He glances around at the majority population of fans who now know exactly who he is. The small pockets of his smarks seem less enthused to be a part of the crowd but remain cheering nonetheless.

As the music continues he turns his attention to the ring and it's inhabitant(s) then starts an unconcerned slow walk, carefully gathering his long blonde hair into a secured samurai-style bun along the way. At ringside he removes his Dickies jacket, folds it carefully beside his corner's steps then ascends to the apron, stepping through the ropes and into battle after nearly 2 minutes have elapsed.

The former champ looks ready for this one, folks. This is definitely a grand opportunity to get back in the running for his lost Universal Championship.

The entire arena is washed in sterile white light as the following words are spoken through the sound system:



Is Dexter ill? Is Dexter ill? Is Dexter ill Is Dexter ill today?

Mr Kirk, Dexter's in school!

I'm afraid he's not, Miss Fishborne. Dexter's truancy problem is way out of hand. The Baltimore County school board have decided to expel Dexter from the entire public school system!

Oh Mr. Kirk, I'm as upset as you to learn of Dexter's truancy. But surely, expulsion is not the answer!

I'm afraid expulsion is the only answer. It's the opinion of the entire staff that Dexter is criminally insane…*echo*….insane….insane….insane….

And his opponent! Being accompanied to the ring by Madison Dyson.... Weighing in at 204 pounds..... He is the XWF Xtreme Champion.......... The Engineer!!

On the main screen is a grainy image of an old television test screen. After the initial dialogue the sound slips into “Frontier Psychiatrist” by The Avalanches. As the offbeat tune picks up, the test screen fades and is instead replaced with a series of Rorschach ink blots. Each panel of ink blots at first looks innocuous, but soon slithers into the shadowy outlines of terrible scenes: a knife going through a head, a body with entrails spilling out before it, a bisected human torso, a figure whose face appears to be slipping off. Interspersed with the morphing inkblot tests are other images of rats flitting about in sewers and pictures of pleasant “whitebread” 1950’s families whose members have no faces. The white lights are now accompanied by small red lights panning all over the arena that look like droplets of blood in contrasts with the white lights.

The Engineer steps to the top of the ramp, his head ticking back and forth as he shoots the crowd paranoid, nervous glares and mutters to himself. He stalks to the ring and rolls under the bottom rope, whereupon he paces back and forth like a caged animal, still talking to himself, while he waits for the bell.

Engy hands the belt over to the official of the match Chaz Bobo, who holds it up and shows it to the challenger before handing it over to time keeper, Nipsey Russell.

Caedus stretches his arms out and begins hopping around in place as the bell rings. Both men take off and begin circling the outside of the ring. Caedus jogs backwards while Engy moves slowly as if he was stalking his opposition.

Here we go fans! One man soaring up the ranks in the XWF and another trying to reclaim his place at the top!

Let's get it on!

Caedus moves in for a tie-up, but Engy dodges and locks Jim up from behind. Caedus grabs the wrists of the champ and tries breaking the hold, but Engy has him locked tight. Caedus then runs into the ropes and bounces off of them sending the two men tripping backwards. Engy falls back and Jim rolls through up to his feet. He delivers a couple stiff kicks to the back of the Xtreme Champion as he leans up and is then grabbed by Caedus.

Caedus Irish whips Engy in to the corner and chases close behind him. As Engy turns and hits the turnbuckle Jim lands a big clothesline picking Engy up off his feet.

Wow! Jim Caedus trying his best to send the Engineer through the turnbuckle.

He can't do that, Old Man. Don't be crazy.

Caedus grabs Engy by the head and head butts him. Engy still appears a bit winded from the clothesline, but the head butt doesn't bother him one bit. He breathes and stares back at Jim Caedus with an absent glare. Madison Dyson screams something indecipherable from the outside and Engy reels his head back and slams it into Caedus's!

Jim flies back holding his face as Engy slithers out of the corner and approaches the challenger. Pulls Jim's hands down and ties them up with his own and delivers another headbutt! Then another! Then another! Then another! Then another! Then lets Caedus drop to the mat.

My God! Stop this! The Engineer is just blasting Jim Caedus with not one but five headbutts!

Caedus's face is all kinds of busted up, man.

The Engineer's isn't much different, Luca.

Engy looks over to Madison who is yelling again from the outside of the ring. He looks down at Caedus, quickly rolls him over, and pulls the leg.

Engineer with the cover!

One!


Two!!!






Kickout!!



I know that Jim Caedus has more fight in him than that, Luca. I think Madison Dyson needs to let her Engineer do a bit more work here.

He's a champion now, Old Man., and the Burger King. You think he don't know wassup?

Engy popped right back up after the kickout and tossed Jim's weighed down frame into the corner. He rushes in and kicks Caedus twice in the stomach, then gouges him in the eyes. Chaz Bob gets between them and forces Engy back to the center of the ring after a warning. He checks on Jim who's rubbing his eyes, he blinks a few times then pushes Chaz out of the way, and kind of jumps over him, and lands a Purgatory Punch on Engy while screaming "Hiyaaaaa!!!!" Engy takes the entire thing to the side of the head and falls flat on his face on the mat. Jim screams out again in anger before grabbing Engy and lifting him to his feet.

It looks like the Engineer's tactics back fired a little bit here.

That guy look pissed.

He sure does, Luca.

Caedus snap suplexes the champ over his shoulder, keeps hold of him, then they both rise back to their feet. Jim lets go and moves in wrapping his arms around Engy. He then lifts him up sending Engy over his head with a belly-to-belly suplex! Engy does a couple of somersults on the mat and finds the ropes. He gets tangled in them for a moment before Madison comes over and helps him out onto the apron and onto the floor.

Jim rests his hands on his knees while the champ paces on the outside as Madison Dyson whipsers strategies to him.

Engy turns around and faces away from the ring, Jim notices this and bounces off the ropes. He sprints across the ring then suicide dives over the top rope!!!! He catches Engy around the head and lands a bulldog on the concrete!

How th---?

That was crazy.

Madison managed to dodge the craziness entirely and screams at either Engy or Caedus who are both sprawled out at the base of the entrance. We can't tell.

Caedus begins to stir first as he slowly climbs towards the nearest barricade. Madison reaches down and pats Engy on the back a few times and he begins to stir as well. Both men pull themselves up via opposite barricades at around the same time and stare each other down. Jim smiles through his battered face and flips off the Engineer. Engy bites his tongue and sneers as Madison points at Jim and screams at Engy. Engy rushes across the ramp and leaps into the air. Caedus dives out of the way and avoids a drop kick that destroys the barricade and a security guard that was minding the area on the other side of it.

Oh no! The Engineer just injured some personel!

No one is safe! I'm outta here!

You're not going anywhere!

Caedus picks up Engy from off the ground and pulls him towards the ring. He slams Engy's head against the ring steps, but Engy returns the favor again like he did the headbutts. He grabs Jim's head, slams it off the ring post, then off the ring steps, then off the post, then off the steps, then DDT's Caedus off the steps.

It doesn't seem like the Engineer likes being hit in the head...

I don't know, Old Man, to me it looks like he likes it.

Well, either or, he gets some strange momentum from it. I think Jim's going to have to go through concussion protocol after this match.

You worry too much, Old Man. That guy's fucking thick, ya know?

Engy grabs Caedus by the hair and tosses him back into the ring under the bottom rope. He climbs the apron and continues up to the top rope. Jim rolls around a bit before he slowly starts to his feet. Engy waits, perched up on the top rope, as Jim reaches his feet Engy dives off and slams him back down catching his battered face with his palm! Jim hits hard and Engy goes for another cover!


One!!






Two!!!











Three!!!!










Kickout!!!






Did Jim kickout?!

No!!!





Chaz Bob gets to his feet.... He says two!!!


Yes! Jim Caedus at the last possible moment kicks out. This boy doesn't give up.

Madison can't believe it, Old Man. I think she counted three.

Well, she's not the official in this match now is she, Luca?

You tell her that.

Engy sits in the center of the ring next to Jim Caedus who's still lying on his back. He gets up and reaches down to Caedus. As he lifts the challenger up, he's grabbed and wrapped up in a quick small package!! Caedus for the win!

One!!!








Two!!!







Kickout by the champ!

Engy rolls through right back to his feet. Jim was a little bit slower, so he takes a boot to the gut and is sent back to counting the lights. Engy drops a quick leg drop across his chest and jumps right back to his feet. He picks Jim up and pulls him to the ropes. He begins scraping Jim Caedus's already bleeding, battered faced across the top rope.

Ow. I bet that burns.

Madison pounds on the apron outside of the ring wanting Engy to finish off Caedus right now. Engy heads for the corner and throws Caedus's head towards the turnbuckle. Jim counters by throwing his boot up to the middle for the block. He pushes off and gets behind Engy and lifts him backwards in a German suplex! Caedus bridges up on his head for the pin!!!



One!!!!!




Jim lets go as he couldn't hold the bridge up for a further count!

Those head shots have obviously taken affect on the former Universal Champion here. Engineer certainly softened him up throughout this wild match up.

Jim Caedus has never used his head once in his life. Why start now?

I'd like to see you tell him that, Luca.

Engy is back to his feet quicker than Jim again and stares down at Madison who is still obviously directing traffic. Jim waits as Engy turns around.... Wrexus Plexus!!

There it is!

Engy flies back after taking the hard Yakuza kick to the chest! He falls through the middle and top rope, but holds on and stops on the apron. Madison is right behind him, screaming for him to get up, which he does almost immediately. Jim rushes in and grabs Engy around the head, looking to suplex him into the ring. Madison grabs her Engineer around the ankles and pulls her weight. Caedus still manages to lift him up a little, but can't complete the move as Engy holds the top rope as well.

Engy throws a knee up and breaks the hold and sticks his thumb into Caedus's eye.

Madison Dyson is bound and determined to make sure her Engineer walks out of this arena tonight STILL champion.

Wouldn't you be, Old Man?/red]

Sure, but I would follow the rules.

[red]It's Xtreme Rules, man. Aren't you paying attention?

As Caedus stumbled back and into the center, Engy re-enters the ring. He grabs Jim and throws his head down..... He's setting him up for Delirium Tremens!!!! He picks up Caedus..... Holds him.............. Jim starts to struggle but as he does Engy drops him on his head!!! Caedus is out cold!!!! Engy pants and looks around with a sinister look. Madison is pointing for him to pin the challenger, but instead he gets up and steps out onto the apron and up to the top rope.

Oh, no. Now what's he doing?

I guess he's not done, Old Man.

Oh God He Had A Lot of Blood In Him!!!!!!!!!!

Oh that has to be it! The double foot stomp from the top rope, folks... Right onto the skull of Jim Caedus.

Goodnight Big Dick Daddy!

Right...


Engy falls on top of Caedus and pulls a leg.

ONE!!









TWO!!!!









THREE!!!!!!!!

Caedus springs out of the pin!! Even after that he managed to still fight, but not enough to kick out.

Winner and STILL XWF XTREME CHAMPION - The Engineer

What a match-up. The Engineer has definitely proved something here these last couple of weeks, folks. We could see a future contender of the Universal Title in front of us here.

That scares the hell out of me.

Me too.





"Anti You" by Blue Stahli begins to play and the fans immediately begin to boo. As soon as Engy turns his attention to the ramp, Cadryn poofs in behind him and delivers a vicious low blow! And another! And another! And another!

Luca: "Holy shit! Cad going HAM on his ham.

Engy falls to the ground and Cadryn begins to stomp on his crotch. Engy cries out in pain as the rest of the Kings™ make their way down to the ring with smiles on their faces, Barney trails behind them holding the shit-filled bucket. They hit the ring and Madison and Doc begin to stomp on Engy. Madison lifts Engy to his feet and throws him into Doc...


LOBOTOMY!








ANOTHER STOMP TO THE NUTS BY CAD!






MADISON EATS A RINGSIDE FAN'S HOTDOG AND THEN GRACIOUSLY THANKS THEM.


Samuels lifts Engy to his knees and delivers several knee strikes to his face, bloodying his face. He directs Barney over and Barney places the bucket down in front of Engy.

"Give the man his crown!" Samuels yells.



Barney dunks his head in the bucket of shit!


Old Man Johnson: "He's bobbing for the crown!"

Luca: "Bobbing in shit is a traditional Scandinavian party game."

Old Man Johnson: "I don't think that's true."

Luca: "According to their Wikipedia page it is."

Old Man Johnson: "I literally just watched you edit that."

Luca: "Changing European culture one click at a time."

Barney finalls pulls his head out! He has the crown in his teeth! Samuels motions for him to give Engy the crown. Barney places it atop Engy's bloody head.



THEN DUMPS THE BUCKET OF SHIT ON HIM!

Each member of The Kings™ take a step back as they get a whiff of the foul odor eminating from Barney's shit. The stench is so foul that members of the audience in the front row start barfing all over each other.


Jesus Christ that is fucking disgusting.

"What did you expect? It's Barney."

"I don't know, not that I guess. Anyway Engy it's not all bad. In fact, it's mostly all good. You finally got your crown back. Do with it what you will but beyond that I am pleased to announce to you and to the XWF Universe that you have officially been named the August 2017 Superstar Of The Month."


Theo reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of Xbux, he flips through the wad and then standing a few feet away from Engy he starts making it rain all over him. A few of the xbux hit the ring floor but most of them are sticking to Engy's shit covered body.


"Take some of that and get yourself cleaned up, you're disgusting."

"Hey Barn-O, one last thing. Lay it on him."

At Samuel's command Barney leans in and plants a kiss right on Engy's lips. The kiss only lasts a few seconds but for everyone in attendance it feels like an hour.

Once the kiss finally ends The Kings™, their Jester™ and their slave all retreat to the back as a short congratulations shows up on the XWFTron.

Congratulations to The Engineer for being named the XWF's August 2017 Superstar Of The Month

---

"The Radical" Gabe Reno - vs - Michael Graves Cadryn Guest Ref Standard Match

Tig O’ Bitties
Introducing first weighing in at 204lbs, from San Diego, CA “The Radical” GABE RENO!

Golden strobe lights and dimming fill the area as "Golden Age" by Woodkid hits the loudspeakers. Mixed reactions of love and hate fill the mixed crowd as The Radical emerges in green and black tights reading 'The Very Best, Nothing More, Nothing Less' across the back. He smiles under a Black hood before sprinting and sliding into the ring, removing his hood and telling the ref to "start the fucking match already".




Tig O’ Bitties
And the challenge, weighing in at 255lbs, from Pittsburgh, PA the “Dark Warrior” Micheal Graves!

Lime green and purple laser lights flash across the entrance ramp. Micheal Graves slowly walks onto the stage to a chorus of boos. Micheal ignores the reaction as he walks down the ramp. The crowd begins to throw random pieces of trash at him as he slowly descends the ramp on his way to the ring. At the bottom of the ramp, Micheal walks up to the crowd and begins jawing with a fan in the front row. A smug look comes across his face as he turns to walk up the steps and enters the ring. Micheal throws up both middle fingers and walks a circle in the ring, making sure that each and every person attending the show tonight knows exactly how he feels about them.



Tig O’ Bitties
And finally, acting as special guest referee for this match “The Jester™” Cadryn Tiberius!

The overhead lights in the arena go dim as strobe lights begin to flash in rhythm to the sound of thunder crashing in the distance. The crowd goes wild as the fog rolls thickly from the top of the ramp as Cadryn Tiberius slowly makes his way out of the back. He stands tall in the midst of the fog as a storm rumbles behind him. Cadryn begins walking down the ramp, slapping the hands of fans on the way down. Cadryn climbs the apron and enters the ring, pausing for a moment in the middle before tossing his white Stetson cowboy hat into the crowd.

This looks like it might be one hell of a brawl, Luca. These two have had some animosity for quite sometime.

Who cares about those two. Cadryn is in the ring!

The bell sounds and away we go!

Graves makes a dash towards Reno, but before he is able to make contact, Cadryn poofs in between the two men, as Graves stops dead in his tracks, Cadryn asks the men to go to separate corners. They both begin to question the special guest referee, but slowly start back peddling towards the corners. Cadryn walks to Graves and begins to pat him down, looking for weapons and anything illegal.

What the hell is that idiot doing?! Let’s start the damn match already!

Calm down, dick. He’s checking them out like an hall of fame referee would. Good job, Cadryn!

Cadryn finishes with Graves and begins to approach Reno. Reno flips him the bird to which Cadryn returns a smile and begins to pat Reno down against his wishes.

Cadryn steps away from Reno and signals for the bell once more, even though there is really no need for it..

Again, the two men sprint towards each other!

Graves goes for a clothesline but Reno ducks under! Reno quickly spins back around and lands a stiff right hand to the jaw of Graves, which sends him stumbling back into the middle of the ring! Reno charges Graves and levels him with a spear! Reno quickly goes to work on Graves who does his best to cover but Reno manages to mount him and land blow after blow!

Gabe doesn’t seem to be messing around tonight!

Graves is a legend, he needs to be careful, otherwise Graves might just spawn a dragon or some shit and kill us all.

Reno ends the onslaught of punches and stands back up. Cadryn quickly rushes to check on Graves, making sure he is still conscious. Cadryn stands back up and waves his arms in a notion that say's “he ain’t dead yet” and orders Reno to continue.

Reno grabs Graves by the mask/hair/head whatever you wanna call it, and pulls him to his feet. Reno whips Graves into the ropes and meets him halfway, leveling him with a clothesline that forces Graves to do a flip, landing square on his back in the middle of the ring!

Reno climbs the turnbuckle, stands tall upon the top rope and…

















































RATED R!!!






































Reno lands his patented Rated R finisher on Graves in the middle of the ring!

Reno makes the cover!






















































But wait…

















































Where is Cadryn?




















































The camera cuts to the back of the arena where Cadryn is standing next to the Ice Cream vendor!

Cadryn is standing there licking away at an ice cream cone like it’s the last ice cream cone on earth!

Noticing the camera, Cadryn makes an “Oh shit!” face and quickly poofs away!

Back in the ring Reno has already stood back up, hovering over Graves like a predator stalking its prey.

Where the hell is Cadryn?!

Right there, dude! Duh!

Cadryn is perched on the top turnbuckle still eating away at that ice cream cone!

Reno begins yelling and screaming at Cadryn! Reno falls down on top of Graves once more! Cadryn slowly hops down and begins to count!

















1…












































2..










































KICKOUT!


Graves kicks out!

Cadryn just robbed Reno of an easy victory!

Ice cream comes before any victory, Johnny.

Reno stands up and begins to charge Cadryn!

Before he can get to close, Cadryn screams like a small child and shoves the remaining ice cream cone in Reno’s face!

SPLAT!

Cadryn poofs away as Reno tries to clear the ice cream debris from his eyes!

This is a sick joke..

No, this is the best! The Kings™ really know how to have fun!

Graves manages to make it back to his feet and seizes the opportunity of a temporarily blinded Reno!

Graves grabs Reno and..


























































FINAL NAIL!












GRAVES HIT THE FINAL NAIL ON RENO!!


GRAVES MAKES THE COVER!

























But wait..





















































Where’s Cadryn?!










































The camera cuts to the audience to find Cadryn sitting beside of a small child eating nachos and relaxing! Once again Cadryn notices the camera and acquires that “Oh shit!” face again and poofs away.

This is getting to be ridiculous, can we get a real referee out here?!

Back in the ring, Graves is still laying on top of Reno!

Cadryn appears on the ground beside the two men, nachos in hand, and begins to count!




1..

























































2..




































































KICKOUT!

Reno kicks out!



This is the greatest show, ever!!!

Graves stands to his feet and smiles at Cadryn!

Cadryn offers him a nacho, but rescinds the offer before Graves can even grab a chip!

Like some sort of ninja, Reno springboards to his feet, grabs Graves, and spins him around!

Cadryn quickly steps away, making sure not to spill his nachos!

Reno lands a superkick to the face of Graves, sending him crashing to the mat once again!

That’s it, this is the end for Graves!

Reno doesn’t try to cover, instead, he rolls to the outside and grabs a chair!

Reno slides back in the ring, chair in hand!

Reno draws the chair back and swings for the fences! Landing a direct hit to the forehead of the fallen Graves!

Cadryn appears unphased, as Reno continues to land chairshot after chairshot!

RING THE DAMN BELL, THAT’S A DISQUALIFICATION!

NOT IF THE REFEREE ALLOWS IT, JOHNNY!


Reno looks to Cadryn who just nods his head in agreeance and continues to munch on his nachos!

Cadryn holds up a finger that seems to say “One second!” and with that, Cadryn poofs away again!

In the ring, Reno has dropped the chair, and pulled Graves to his feet. Reno has a look in his eye that he wants to end it all, not just tonight, but the existence of Graves!

Reno grabs Graves by the throat and begins to squeeze!

OH MY GOD, HE’S GOING TO KILL HIM RIGHT HERE IN THE RING!

Suddenly..


THE LIGHTS IN THE ARENA GO OUT!















































































WHAT ELSE COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?!


As the lights begin to come back on, we see Cadryn standing in between the two men, holding a Little Caesars Hot and Ready pizza box!

Cadryn looks at both men, and points to the box of pizza offering them a slice!

Cadryn goes to open the box, but stops. He smiles that big goofy Jester™ smile before turning his attention to each man separately.


Out of nowhere Cadryn swings the pizza box as hard as he can connecting with the side of Graves face, sending him crashing to the mat! Before he can react, Cadryn takes another huge swing and connects, leveling Reno! Both men are down and out in the middle of the ring!

Cadryn opens the box, and out falls a small pile of bricks!


HE FILLED THE BOX WITH BRICKS, LUCA!

That pizza was as hard as a brick, hah!

Cadryn grabs Reno and pulls him on top of the unconscious Graves and quickly makes the count!

123..


Cadryn signals for the bell!



WHAT THE HELL DID WE JUST WITNESS..

Winner: "The Radical" Gabe Reno!

---

Chris Chaos - vs - Danny Imperial Standard Match

The words "FOLLOW ME" show up on the X-Tron screen as smoke billows at the entrance. Blue and white lights flicker. At the 10 second mark, he steps through the smoke wearing his jacket (Rated R Edge trench coat). Looking to both sides of the crowd. He walks slowly to the ring until he gets about 3/4 of the way down, then jogs and slides into the ring (edge style)...When he gets into the ring he gets up on the far turnbuckle and gets up on it, throwing both arms up.





"Hail To The King" Blares through the speakers as laser multi-colored lights move haphazardly through the stadium. As the heavy guitar drops, two opposite flares shoot out from the base of the entrance. A crazed, grinning Danny Imperial walks out from behind the curtain. He runs a hand across his face, pulling back his hair.

He strolls down the ramp towards the ring, smugly glancing from side to side, giving Betsys in the crowd a wink as he passes them. He slides smoothly into the ring, crawling up to the announce, Tig O' Bitties. Climbing up one of the turnbuckles. He sticks both hands into the air and licks his lips in anticipation.

He leaps off the turnbuckle, walking to the center of the ring as a blue light shines on him. He simulates a crown on his head, lifting the imaginary crown and placing it at the center of the ring. He walks back to a turnbuckle, and lies across the ropes awaiting the start of the match.

The ring lights cut off, plunging the ring and the stadium into darkness. An eerie tone pierces through the worried sounds of the fans as the XTron comes alive.

The Asylum

A white flash blinds anyone who’s had their eyes open as all the lights come on at the same time. At the top of the ramp are two masked figured, a smaller girl and a much larger man. In the girl’s hand is a long wooden kendo stick, which she lifts and points directly at the ring. The two remain there, unmoving. Danny however, unlike a few months ago, seems to expect them and isn’t caught off guard.

Well, someone's definitely trying to intimidate these men, Luca.

Or maybe just one. Danny Imperial doesn't seem bothered by them.

Yeah, but who the hell are they?

The bell rings and Danny Imperial immediately takes the center of the ring, and urges Chaos to come lock up. Chaos smiles and flips Imperial the bird. Imperial shakes his head and begins to chase Chaos around the ring. Chaos slides under the bottom rope and elbows the back of Imperial’s head as he attempts to follow him out. Imperial falls through the ropes onto the floor and Chaos slides back into the ring, playing to the fans. Imperial slides back into the ring and catches the unsuspecting Chaos with a clothesline to the back of the head! Chaos falls to his knees and Imperial stomps him down and goes for a quick cover….


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2...










kickout!





Imperial quickly pops up and delivers a huge kneedrop! And now it’s Imperial’s turn to play to the crowd! He pops up and starts dancing, much to the crowd’s delight. Imperial reaches down and grabs a handful of Chaos’s hair but is met with a poke to the eye! Imperial reels as Chaos gets up and charges!




Big Boot!



Chaos drops to the ground as Imperial shakes out the cobwebs to regain his vision. Chaos stirs on the ground and struggles to make it to a knee. Imperial lurches over and places Chaos’s head between his legs and lifts him for a powerbomb, but Chaos pokes him in the eye again! Imperial begins to stumble and Chaos unloads with a series of punches, sending Imperial crashing down to the canvas with Chaos on top of him.


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2...









Kick out!


Chaos takes a few steps backwards and charges the rising Imperial. Chaos sends Imperial stumbling into the turnbuckles with a huge single leg dropkick! Without hesitation, Chaos charges in once more and delivers a running elbow to the face of Imperial. Chaos unloads with a series of elbows to Imperial. Imperial stumbles out of the corner pushing Chaos backwards, but Chaos delivers a roundhouse kick that sends Imperial crashing to the mat. Chaos jumps on Imperial and puts his feet on the ropes for extra leverage.




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2...










Imperial gets a foot on the bottom rope. Chaos slaps Imperial's head repeatedly, dragging the larger man to his feet. Chaos pushes Imperial against the ropes and whips him to the far side. Chaos quickly hops onto the top rope and springboards off for an elbow strike!


Imperial counters with a huge Diamond Cutter! He may have broke Chaos’s neck with that one! Imperial quickly lifts Chaos up and sends him back down to the mat with a massive powerbomb that shakes the entire ring! Imperial collapses on top of Chaos for the pin




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2...












Another eye poke sends Imperial rolling off Chaos! What a bastard! Chaos struggles to his feet while Imperial angrily rolls around the ring, standing up when he notices Chaos has nearly made it to his feet. The two stagger towards each other and meet in the center of the ring.

Woah!! Look out!!

Danny Imperial lifts Chaos up in the air and goes for the Imperial Execution!!!!






Chaos counters with a quick head scissor take down! Imperial flips on his head across the ring. Chaos stands up, he measures up his opponent across the ring..... And goes for a SPEAR!!!!!










CHAOS MISSED! Imperial dove out of the way at the last second and speared the corner turnbuckle. He bounces out and is caught again by Danny with the Imperial Execution! He hits it this time! He holds the leg and the referee counts!!!!


ONE!!!











TWO!!!!!!!














THREE!!!!!!!!!

Winner: Danny Imperial

---

Hart Championship Match Drake - vs - Peter Gilmour

The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the XWF Hart Championship!

It's Gilly Time!

Can You Feel My Heart starts playing as all the lights in the arena goes. A pure black X-Tron displays the following, in burning letters: "A-X-O-L-O-T-L! My time has come to burn! I invoke the ancient power that I may return!"

When the guitars kick in, there is a large amount of strobe lighting, when the beat drops, the word "Anti-Christ" is now there, and background of the image below is also there.



Introducing first, the challenger! From Portland, Oregon, weighing 223 pounds..... Drake!!

Drake then walks out to a very loud chorus of boos, Drake himself smiles very smugly before lifting his spreading his arms like Bray Wyatt (if he has a championship, he'll lift that above his head instead), and begins to walk down the ramp (will pop the belt on his shoulder if he has a championship), flipping over several fans on his way down. He then steps between the ropes and crouches near the turnbuckle, waiting for his opponent.

Here he comes!

That's right, Luca! The three time XWF Hart Champion is in action right now!



The lights in the arena dim, then go to full black. We then hear the eerie sounds of a bell being tolled and then an explosion of fire emitting from the entrance ramp. The beginning of COMANCHE by IN THIS MOMENT begins as the heavy guitar riffs kick in and red strobes dance around the stage.

His opponent.... From Los Angeles, California..... Weighing 260 pounds...... The XWF Hart Champion............. Peter Gilmour!!!!!

As soon as the verse kicks in, we see Peter Gilmour and his wife Maria Brink come out to the ramp. They smile at each other before going down the ramp hand in hand. Peter bobs his head to the song. They get in the ring together and Peter gets on the turnbuckle and throws up an "X" sign as pyro goes off above the ring. Peter hops down and kisses Maria as Drake climbs back in the ring. Peter then gives the Hart Title a kiss and hands it over the the official, Chaz Bobo. Chaz holds the title up, shows it to Drake, then passes it down to the time keeper.

The official asks if both men are ready, but Peter doesn't answer him. Instead, he talks shit to Drake and points to his crotch... In unison with the thousands in attendance, he screams "SUCK MY DICK!!!" Drake steps forward, but Chaz Bob steps between the two competitors.

Mr. Gilmour already getting inside the head of his opposition here and the bell hasn't even rung yet.

What the hell is he waiting for, Old Man? You're a referee, ring the damn bell!

I'm retired!

Peter laughs and keeps crotch chopping as Drake walks back to his corner and Chaz tries to keep order before the match even starts. Maria Brink hops onto the apron on the same corner as Drake, she taps him on the shoulder and he spins around. He goes to grab Maria, but she jumps back down off the apron. GIlly rushes over and spins him back around and hits the GILLY CUTTER!!!!

GILLY CUTTER! GILLY CUTTER!

Drake lies flat on his face as Peter drags him to the center of the ring. He yells at Chaz Bobo to ring the bell, which he looks at the time keeper, shrugs, and signals for the bell.

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Well this is hardly a title defense here, folks. Just what the hell.

Peter lifts Drake back up and plants him down with the DEATHSTRIKE!!!!! Peter covers!!


ONE!!



TWO!!




THREE!!!!

This ones over! Peter retains!

Like stealing candy from hooker, Old Man!

I wouldn't know.

Winner and STILL XWF HART CHAMPION - Peter Gilmour

---

MAIN EVENT Universal Championship Match James Raven - vs - Chasm 3 RP - 2500 Word Limit

Made Of Scars starts playing on the pa system as smoke fills the entrance way. Chasm walks out and looks around the area. He smiles and starts to walk down to the ring ignoring the fans who are mixed between boos and cheers . He slides under the bottom rope and quickly gets to his feet. Chasm starts to stretch as he waits for his opponent to make their way to the ring.





The entire arena slowly fades to black as the audience excitedly awaits the entrance of "The Peoples GOAT". The drum beat and guitar solo start and a series of white and blue spotlights come up and pan the crowd. Mike Shinodas voice is heard on the speakers singing.

“Now here we go for the hundredth time, hand grenade pins in every line, throw ‘em up and let something shine, going out of my fucking mind… filthy mouth, no excuse, find a new place to hang this noose, string me up from atop these roofs, high and tight so I wont get loose.”

By now the fans are going wild and cheering as the spotlights slowly make their way to the top of the entrance ramp where a dim fog begins to form.

“Truth is you can stop and stare, rub myself out and no one cares, dug the trench out and lay down there with a shovel up, out of reach somewhere… yeah, someone pouring in, make it a dirt glass floor again, say your prayers and stomp it out when they bring that chorus in.”

The spotlights come together as one, and the fog fills the top of the ramp until the downbeat hits and a major blue and silver pyrotechnic display goes off and the rest of the arena lights turn up to full. When the smoke clears James Raven is seen on top of the ramp, his hands thrown up over his head and a huge smile on his face.

“I BLEED IT OUT!!! Diggin’ deeper just to throw it away, I BLEED IT OUT!!!”

James makes his way down the ramp, high fiving fans and posing for pictures with several of them until he reaches the base of the ramp. Then, he pauses for a few seconds and sprints for the ring, diving in under the bottom rope and sliding in to the center of the mat on his hands and knees. He poses for a second, then gets up and runs for the turnbuckle, climbing up and posing yet again for the fans before doing a 360 degree spin off and doing the same on the opposite turnbuckle. As his music fades out he stretches in his corner waiting for the bell to sound.


The bell rings and the two Canadians lock up. The circle a few times while locked before Raven gets a knee up to the gut of Chasm, bringing him to one knee. Raven picks him back up so he is on both feet, then goes for a suplex......but Chasm surprisingly reverses, scooting behind Raven and running him chest first into the ropes before the ref breaks them up.

Surprising move by Chasm there, he doesn't seem to be backing down from the Universal Champion.

Why should he? Raven ain't shit.

You tell him that.

I'm good.

Raven gives the hands up "come on" motion to Chasm, who charges. The two exhange punches and Chasm is able to back the Uni Champ into the corner while firing off a series of chops and punches. He whips Raven into the other corner and runs with a splash. Catching a stumbling Raven, he throws him back into the corner again. Chasm throws his arms up to the pro-Candadian crowd, and yells out something Candadian about Syrup or something, then goes to splash Raven again.............but the Uni Champ moves!

Chasm crashes face first into the turnbuckle, and Raven catches him around the waist.......German Suplex! Raven has the fingers locked. Another German! And Another! And Another!

Chasm is down in the center of the ring as the Uni champ point and winks at a hot girl in the front row.

Oh how the momentum has shifted, it is all Raven now.

Chasm came to fight, but he sucks too....so.....

You're too much.

Raven turns around and showing that mean streak of his, kicks Chasm in the ribs. Lifting him by the head, he puts him down with a snap mare into a sleeper. A knee to the back and the arm around the neck, Chasm reaches for the ropes but Raven has him stuck. He pulls tighter and Chasm begins to fade. Just as it looks like Chasm is out, he begins to try to fight out of it. He is ble to get to one knee, and a frustrted Raen slams Chasm's face down on his knee, sending him flopping back. Raven shakes his head, saying "Stay down" as he lifts Chasm up, bounces off the ropes and turns him inside out with a clothesline. Cover




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Chasm gets a shoulder up. Raven slaps the mat. His smirk is starting to fade as he is getting mad that Chasm is wasting time he could be talking to the hot chick in the audience. Picking him back up.......

Divebomb!

What a spear! He damn near broke Chasm in two.

Could that be a message to Chaos on Savage?!

Damn right it is.

He gives the "fuck this"hand gesture and slides out of the ring, grabbing his title. He walks to the chick in the front row and shows it to her. They pose for a selfie with the belt.

The ref is at a 7 count when Raven slides back into the ring.

Picking up Chasm, he whips him off the ropes. He goes for a kick but Chasm ducks, lifting Raven and somehow dropping him from his shoulders. Both men are down.

What a desperation move from Chasm there. I don't think he even knows what happened!

Raven, not having taken much damage, is to his feet rather quickly. Chasm stumbles towards him. Hurricarana from Raven!

He goes to the top rope. Five Star Frog Splash!!!!!!

Its over!

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3----CHASM GETS A SHOULDER UP!

Raven slaps the mat and the crowd roars.

"This is awesome! Clap clap clap clap clap.This is awesome!"

Raven seems to be getting more and more angry that he can't put chasm away.

Lifting him up, he puts Chasm on his shoulders. Chasm begins to fire shots down on the top of the head of the Uni champ. Raven is wobbling and drops Chasm chest and neck first over the top rope, causing him to stumble back, holding his chest.

Here it comes Old Man! Can you feel it!

I can almost taste it!

FLIGHT OF THE RAVEN!

Cover!


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3!

Tig O' Bitties: The winner of this match and STILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL XWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION..........James Raven!

Winner and Still Universal Champion: James Raven

Just then, Chris Chaos comes through the crowd and slides into the ring, behind Raven. He has a crazed look on his face.

Turn around James!

Oh my god!

Raven turns around.











Chris Chaos damn near broke James Raven in half!

My god! This is going to be an explosion on Savage!

Chris walks over and picks up the Universal Title. He holds it over his head as Raven rolls around on the mat, holding his mid section.

Has Chaos bitten off more than he can chew here?! My god, it is going to be an explosion on Saturday Night!

---