Kris Cruze falls asleep with a copy of The Cutting Edge on VHS on his chest.






1!



2!

Edge wanders down the 24/7 hallway and finds Cruze sleeping with the VHS tape on his chest. Edge carefully peels the "be kind, please rewind" sticker off of the video cassette and applies it to his forehead. A feeling of serenity befalls Edge as he calmly walks away.

Hedge is seen setting in a lawn somewhere, looking all lush and green and shit. You can't help but admire the fine care and grooming that went into this hedge. While many things in the world are horrible, and corrupt, this pure piece of decorative foliage contoured into a wonderful cubic shape so as to be pleasing to the eye captivates and enthralls you.

As opposed to the dreary problems you face such as traffic, spilling the trash when you take it out because you trip over the rake, finding a letter saying you have jury duty, or dental appointments, this hedge is actually pretty sweet. It sways in the breeze. The XWF fanbase goes wild as Hedge does his finisher!

*X*DUBBYA*EFF*X*DUBBYA*EFF*X*DUBBYA*EFF*X*DUBBYA*EFF*

Hedge, having gotten the fans right behind him, grabs the microphone. He glances around and smiles at the crowd for a moment, then puts the microphone to his lips.

"Did someone say my name?"

gobble?gobble?

Vincent walks by with a fidget spinner whirling. He's got a large-bound copy of the official XWF rules in his free hand and his brow is furrowed in concentration.

"You mean to tell me this is actually allowed? Jesus... three, I guess."

Winner and NEW Heavymetalweight Champion - A damn VHS tape