The lull in the arena is socked right in the balls by the thunderous opening chords of “Amerika” by Rammstein.





Not sure who this is....


The main screen is awash in symbols of good old fashioned Americana: apple pie, exploding fireworks, a waving flag, senior citizens smiling warmly...

...and then out come Maddy and Engy.


This has got to be the oddest pairing since anyone with a penis and rompers.


Engy looks like his typical lunatic self, muttering and almost stumbling over his untied shoelaces. Madison is eating up the attention, waving to her “people” like British royalty. Her ring gear is decorated in the stars and stripes. They make their way to the ring, Madison getting in confidently and Engy slithering under the bottom rope. Madison poses as red, white, and blue fireworks explode from the ring posts.


Well this is new from the, uh, newcomers.


Madison gestures for a mic and gets one in short order.


Greetings XWF fans and Americans watching around the nation. I'm Madison Dyson and this is Engy.


I'm Engy!


Engy helpfully calls into mic.


You may know me from my top ranked news show on Fox News, The Right Idea with Madison Dyson. If you don't, you should probably get on that. Now we've been around for a couple weeks, getting the lay of the land and what have you. But tonight...tonight we give XWF our big formal hello. And boy do we have a lot to talk about. Now I know you all are probably pretty used to newcomers waltzing in and talking a big game about how they're going to change everything. I get that. But ya see, Engy and I? We're a bit different. Because we're not just here representing our own interests. We are here representing America's interests. But maybe I should let this speak for itself...


The lights in the arena dim, and all the screens in the arena reactivate with the following message....

STAND BY FOR A SPECIAL MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES

Is this for real?

And then this appears.





Oh Jesus Christ...

It is! It's Donald J. Trump!

Oh why don't you just whip out your confederate flag you hick.


Yes, it is I, your president, Donald Trump!


He adds a pause like he's waiting for the applause and awe to die down.


I'm sure you all know what a big, big supporter I am of professional wrestling. There is no more amazing form of entertainment in this great country. Not even destruction derbys. Yes, wrestling and the Trump brand go hand in hand. And I love all you wrestling fans, I really do. But you guys have probably heard some bad stuff about me, some fake news, about me being tied to the Russians and other bad stuff. It's all lies. Every bit of it. Fake News. Remember those words.

So I decided that, to combat that fake news and to reach out to all you true Americans who watch XWF I would pick two White House liaisons to the world of professional wrestling, and I could not pick two better people than Madison Dyson and The Engineer. Madison, with her tireless pursuit of the truth and fierce struggles against fake news was a no brainer selection. And Engy, heh, Engy represents the dreams of all Americans and the idea that anyone can improve and become a big, big star if they work hard enough. Why Engy has gone from sleeping in dumpsters and eating garbage to being on national television!

I still eat garbage though, but for fun not cuz I have to.


Madison gives him a quick swat.


Plus, my profoundly autistic son Barron loves Engy. What father can say no to that?

So what does this all mean? It means that today I signed an executive order making Madison Dyson and The Engineer OFFICIAL members of my administration. They are now federal employees and will be granted all the perks that come with it. Including secret service protection.


As if on cue, jar headed guys in trench coats hustle down to the ring and surround it. Madison is positively beaming. Engy mostly looks like he is confused and mildly threatened.


I have also been in contact with the people in charge at XWF about this order and they have assured me they will respect and be in full compliance with it. Now, don't get me wrong, this is America and it is expected that people will work hard to succeed. That being said, I expect all of you great, great fans will be seeing and cheering for Madison and Engy for a long time in lots of title matches. And, if that doesn't happen....heh, there is a certain two word phrase that I am known for using....

So God bless America. God bless our troops. And God bless all of you wonderful people.


Wait, so what exactly does all of that mean?!

Donald Trump has been in contact with the heads of XWF? Did we just get sold out...?


Did you catch that XWF? WE ARE AMERICA. And we are so, so proud to be representing you....THE PEOPLE, and especially our president and supreme leader Donald J. Trump. And for the folks at the top of the card pulling their puds in some sort of stupid, oblivious faction war, we'll be seeing you all very soon.

Now bring out the sCENSORED.


Hymn of a Broken Man hits the ring, and out comes the Outlaw Brian Harris, who is being flanked by his tag team partner, the Ultimate.


On their way to the ring, the ULLLLLLLTIMATE OUTLAWWWWWWZ!


They enter the ring and head to their corner. It looks like the Engineer and The Ultimate will start this match up for their respective teams.

The match gets underway with the Engineer and The Ultimate locking up.

The Engineer gets The Ultimate in a headlock and flips him over onto his back. The Engineer gets to his feet and drops an elbow on the Ultimate, who does get to his feet and the two men step back from each other, The Ultimate is clearly in shock.

Brian Harris is urging for the tag in but the Ultimate ignores it, runs across the ring and goes for a clothesline, but misses, turns into a hip toss from The Engineer, and another! The Ultimate is clearly dazzled as he leans back into the ropes, and walks towards the Engineer who picks him up… SCOOP SLAM!

Ultimate finally rolls towards The Outlaw Brian Harris and tags him in. The Engineer smirks and tags in Madison Dyson who waltzes across the ring. Brian Harris uses his power to fling her into the turnbuckle, he looks to climb the turnbuckle and offload some punches but Madison rakes him in the eye and throws him to his feet. Harris runs at her but she ducks, he hits the turnbuckle and turns into a devastating standing dropkick!

Harris gets to his feet though. Madison whips him into the ropes and looks to lift him into the air but she receives a clothesline. Harris spins around and hits The Engineer with a forearm, sending him to the outside into the barricade.

Harris is getting pumped now. He runs across the ring and plants Dyson with a knee strike, before kicking her in the gut, lifting her up in the air and slamming her down to the mat, executing a perfect suplex.

Dyson rolls to the Engineer and tags him in. The Engineer runs across the ring, but Harris plants him to the mat by dodging a clothesline and hitting him in the back of the leg with a chop block. He runs off the ropes and dropkicks the Engineer in the chest.

Harris tags in the Ultimate who looks to go for a fameasser, but The Engineer catches him high, and holds The Ultimate in an electric chair position. He grabs Ultimate’s legs and pushes him forwards, planting him face first into the mat to hit a beautiful facebuster. The Engineer smiles and grabs the Ultimate’s leg, cradling his back to lock in a single leg Boston Crab.

Ultimate roars out in pain but manages to get to the bottom rope just in time.

The Engineer is forced to let go of the hold, but he picks Ultimate up and sends him to the outside. Then he runs across the opposite side of the ring into the ropes, and leaps to the outside! Leap of faith onto the Ultimate!

Harris hits the Engineer in the back of the head, but Madison Dyson has snuck onto the ring apron by them, she throws herself feet first towards Harris, taking him out with a missile drop kick.

She throws Harris into the ring, and the Engineer throws the Ultimate into the ring.

They slide in after them. Harris takes down Madison with a spear!

But the Engineer runs at Harris, steps up… ENZIGURI!!! DEVASTATING!!

Harris is sent to the outside.

The Engineer goes for the cover on The Ultimate…


1…



















2…















Kick out!


The Engineer picks The Ultimate up and slings him into the corner before unloading a flurry of shoulders to the gut. Engineer runs off the ropes… Bulldog!

And now another cover!

1…



















2….














Kick out!

Harris has climbed into the ring!



Hey! That’s not legal!


He takes out The Engineer with a big boot! But as he turns around he’s planted with a modified swinging neckbreaker from Madison Dyson! She rolls him out of the ring! But as she turns around Ultimate swings at her. She ducks it, ends up behind him… German suplex!


The Ultimate is sent flying!


She heads back out onto the ring apron, as does Harris.


The Engineer tags in Madison!


Madison Dyson picks up the Ultimate onto her back and hits a Celtic Cross slam!


SLAM!


She calls that the Dead Bitch Walkin’!!!!!!! Devastating impact


Harris looks to save the match but the Engineer has climbed into the ring… HEART PUNCH!!!!

Down goes Harris!

Madison goes into the cover on The Ultimate!


1...
























2…























3!!!


It’s over! Dominant display from Madison Dyson and The Engineer! That is all she wrote Luca!

Nothing pretty about that matchup, but Madison Dyson and The Engineer are walking away deserved winners, did I just say something nice?

Maybe its the hangover.


Here are your winners: Madison Dyson AND The Engineer!!!!

---

The cameras fade outside of the arena where a Lamborghini limousine rolls to a stop.


Now, THAT’S a limousine!

Oh shit, JR! It looks like AX3 has arrived here in Vegas!


AX3 files out of their limousine.


Xtreme Champion, Micheal Graves! Hart Champion, Robert Main! Universal Champion, Jim Caedus!

They’re also the Trios Champs, JR!


Fade back to ringside as the limousine rolls away.


Conspicuously absent from the AX3 car is Thaddeus Duke!

Yeah and Chris Chao…. Oh fuck him. Yeah, Thaddeus Duke was NOT in that limousine, JR!

That’s got to be a sign of their lack of cohesion wouldn’t you think?

Your guess is as good as mine!

Probably better.

You fuck!