In a dimly lit tavern, proud, strong men trade jests and boasts, with one roar heard above the rest, "I'll show you, I'll show you all how a real man does business! Last night, I took out a contract...and lemme just say that after what I done...with my bare hands, mind you...Seal Team Six is now Seal Team minus-six, if you know what I mean! Yeah! Yeah!"

The boasts belonged to Antwan Gibson, a man composed of vast shares of cellulite and muscle, such that it was hard to tell which was which. "The evidence...is that there ain't no evidence, cause I'm so good I don't leave no evidence...and so ruthless that I don't leave nothing left to become evidence," he ranted on. Though his voice was full of thunder and cheer, his eyes seemed dull and lazy, almost lifeless. There was no mirth in his eyes. Only calculating cruelty.

"But if anyone doubts that I'm the baddest man in this here joint, I will..." a dark, strange shadow cast by a misshapen semi-human figure fell over the table Gibson was sitting at. Antwan and the other men looked up to see something vaguely human peering at them. The thing's face was decorated in garish face paint, its body clothed in wrestling tights. Its eyes gleamed with menace, while its mouth frothed a strange blue liquid.

"If you're so tough...why haven't you joined the XWF?"

Antwan sifted uncomfortably in his chair, then let out a mocking laugh.

"Are you an idiot...? A fool? The XWF...why, the XWF leaves those dumb enough to enter it broken and penniless...its too much for any man...or...whatever you are...listen, I don't know any man at this table or anyone around here that's fool enough to even try out for that crazy organization!"

A primordial fury blazed in the creature's eyes, such that one might have expected its strange face paint to melt by its' heat.

"Maybe that's just because nobody has had the spine...or the guts...to give it a shot..."

Antwan stuttered, flustered.

"Are you calling me a coward...? You, you..."

The thing interrupted him with a leap into the air which nearly carried it to the ceiling of the establishment before it came down with both feet upon Antwan's head. With agility that belied the creature's bulk, it balanced on the stunned man's head for an instant before flipping to the ground and delivering the man a clothesline which seemed to literally knock him out of his own shoes.

All around the bar, people began to flip out their camera phones, with the same morbid fascination that leads men to stop and gawk at grisly accidents...and with the same sense of awe that leads one to stop at stare at the majesty of a lightning storm, even at cost to one's life.

The creature began to flex what were apparently muscles, though they were no more similar to human muscles than a great apes.

"Awwwwww! That's right...that's right...this is going to go viral...not just on the internet...but viral in the hearts, minds and souls of everyone in the XWF...you seen, I've made a choice...I've given birth...to a dream that will not die unconquered by the lust of my ambition...for in chaos...I will bring order...and through the order, the new breed...of destruction!"

The creatures voice devolves into a guttural noise as it then flips over a table and begins assaulting every bar patron in sight with a slew of clotheslines, DDTS, pile-drivers and eye-gouges. Eventually, only one man is left standing in the bar. The creature stands over the lone survivor, burning eyes glaring down upon him like those of a lioness ready to devour prey.

"You...tell everyone about me...tell them...THE ULTIMATE IS COMING! Send out whatever you recorded...to as many places as you can think of...post about me...hype me up...be a harbinger of the doom that I bring...or ELSE...you will lose a chance...to be the new Paul Revere...the new Crazy Ralph...and I will also destroy you! But the main thing is...I'm coming! Spread the word!"