Here I am, sitting in this van driving across the good ole US of A with my boys, Graves, and Cadryn. I know this looks weird from the outside looking in, but I almost feel like I'm a father to these guys. A good shepherd tryin' ta lead them down a better path. Micheal was pretending to be a demon for whatever reason, and Cadryn... Well, that boy ain't right. Don't get me wrong, they're both good kids. They just need a positive influence in their lives. They both come from broken and dysfunctional homes. Neither of them had a strong father figure in their lives, and both of them boys are in a bit of a rut. Graves hasn't been capable of winning a match or at least a match that matters. Now he's challenging for the Universal title. That boy has cut a couple of scathing promos against the current champion, Chris Chaos. I'm sure those words he was singing are going to get Chris fired up and on the top of his game. Micheal should have remembered that you don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. Cadryn, that poor boy, continues to get himself into more trouble than a fox in the hen house. That's why I've decided to step out of retirement and wrestle a match on Savage. I want to show these boys that with the help of Christ, anything's possible. It's no secret that I had a short career here in the XWF. I was also in quite a few other promotions as well. When I say that, I'm not trying to set up for some big story that attempts to prove that I'm an awesome wrestler. I'm big ad strong, always have been, but I've never won a single match. No sir, nota one.
Micheal Graves: "Darren, think we can hit that rest stop coming up?"
Cadryn Tiberius: "I need to pee too!"
"Alright boys, I'm sure we can afford to make a short stop."
Why not eh? These boys have been cutting promos left and right, and I haven't had a chance to say a few words. I figure I can knock out two birds with one stone right?
The men's room. It's a place that we seem to keep finding Darren Zirado as of late. He claims that he is trying to set a positive example for his two "boys", but standing there at the urinal with his dick in his hand pissing like a race horse may not be the best way to start a promo.
Darren Zirado: "Alright now. As most of you know by now, I'm currently on a cross country trip with my boys, heading to a fun filled day at Disneyland before we all walk into Savage on Saturday night, ready to face the biggest challenges since our respective returns. First, Micheal is challenging for that Universal Title, then Cadryn is going to take that dastardly Jim Caedus to school, and finally, I'm just going to try and win a match for the first time in my career."
Darren shakes it a few times before stuffing it back into his pants and zipping up as he turns around and slowly walks over to the sink, his eyes locked with the camera.
Darren Zirado: "Now Mr. Edwards, I heard what you said. I don't know why it is that so many here in the XWF feel the need to target my love for the good lord above like it's some sort of weakness. You claim that you're a good Christian, but boy, if that were true you wouldn't ever said them things you did. How can you stand there and tell the world that you're a good Christian, and then immediately try to say that our savior doesn't give you strength? You can lift all the weights in the world son, but if you aren't truly walking hand in hand with God, then you're as weak as they come."
Darren turns on the water in the sink and begins to lather and wash his hands.
Darren Zirado: "You know, I used to be a lot like you son. I was a big strong man, and I thought that made me better than everyone else. I figured that I was big enough to throw everyone else around, so I could do and say whatever I wanted. Well, I found myself getting my tail whipped night in and night out. I sank into a deep dark depression, and I even considered suicide because I had allowed my life to fall apart so bad. Then one day it was like a lightbulb went off in my head. I realized that if I were to get my life back in order, I was gonna need a little help. I found that help in the almighty power of our lord and savior Jesus Christ. I turned my life around and I devoted myself to becoming a reverend myself so that I could help spread the word that had saved me."
Darren turns off the sink and casually walks over to a hot air hand dryer. Continuing to speak into the camera as he drys his hands.
Darren Zirado: "Make no mistake about my intentions Mr. Edwards. I think that you and that Shade character are a couple of vile creatures. Shade has even gone so far as to commit murder right here on XWF television in the past. I happened to watch this video where him and some fellas opened gun fire onto a crowd of onlookers for no reason. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that man was the Devil himself. Well, boys, I'm bringing the Lords justice to Savage, and I'm going to whoop some faith into your asses. God isn't a violent man, and I figure I'll have to ask him for forgiveness after I'm done with you two, but remember this. If you're going to get in trouble for hitting someone, you might as well hit'em hard.
![[-]](https://xwf99.com/images/portal2/collapse.gif)
The following 1 user Likes DZirado's post:
