When we last left off Micheal, Cadryn, and Darren Zirado were taking Darren's church van on a cross-country trip to California in an effort to visit Disneyland before the boys big event at the Stub Hub center where both Micheal Graves and Cadryn Tiberius will be wrestling in huge matches that will afford the two of them an opportunity to win singles gold. Cadryn Tiberius has waited for over a month to get another shot at the XWF Television Champion Jim Caedus. Cadryn felt that he had Caedus beat, and only pulled a draw in their first meeting because of father time, and the lack of one more second in the match. Cadryn would go on to create and wear a mock Television championship belt crafted from cardboard and boast about how he was the “Undeniable TV Champion”. In the following weeks, Caydrn would playfully take shots at Jim Caedus and the fact that Jim didn't actually beat him in an effort to position himself for a rematch with the real Television Champion. Right around this time, Micheal Graves saw fit to stand up to Chris Chaos during one of Chaos's many bitch sessions backstage. Chris was questioning why he was booked to face Peter Gilmore for the Universal title when Gilmore wasn't the number one ranked challenger according to Paul Heyman's championship rankings. Micheal thought that the answer was pretty self-explanatory, it's not like the number one contender always gets the shot, besides Peter had a guaranteed return bout for the title that he lost to Chaos. Micheal also saw this as an opportunity to force Chris Chaos to take notice of him. Chaos did, and by the end of that meeting, Micheal Graves and Chris Chaos were in agreement that they were going to meet up on the very next Savage in a match that if Graves could win, would earn him a shot at Chris's title. However, there was also a looming threat from Paul Heyman that he may just make the first meeting between these two men before the title, trumping the agreement made between the two of them.
Graves, who hadn't had the smoothest of returns to the company saw this as an opportunity. Micheal was shaking the ring rust and improving greatly with each match. Chris Chaos didn't know that, though. As far as anyone in the XWF was concerned, Micheal Graves possessed the skills to be a solid attraction in the mid-card, but not much more. Micheal knew better, though. He knew that if he could shake the rust, he could be far greater than anyone currently in the XWF could ever expect. So Micheal decided to take it easy, not put his best foot forward, and continue to allow everyone to think that he was out of his league with Chris Chaos. What's a loss to Robbie Bourbon and his Hart Title when Chris Chaos and the Universal Title are on the horizon? Plus due to the rules in the XWF, even if Micheal would have beaten Bourbon and took the Hart Title, that would have immediately taken him out of contention for the Universal Title. Now one has to wonder if Graves kicked Robbie out of that cage purposely.
As big of a deal as facing Chaos for the Universal Title is, it's not Micheal's sole focus. Micheal has also accomplished What Chris Chaos couldn't. He has advanced to the second round of Lethal Lottery. When Micheal was paired with Louis D'Ville in the first round, there were backstage whispers about how lucky Micheal Graves was, and how he was going to get a free ride to the second round via Doc. This round Micheal is paired with Peter Gilmore, and this time there are no snide whispers about Gilmore carrying Graves. Hell, by the time this round's over people will be saying that it was Graves who carried the Legend to Round 3.
Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Darren Zirado has decided to make a short detour on their trip to Disneyland after seeing a sign that advertised Garden of the Gods, or as Zirado misread it, Garden of God. Darren imagines that he will find some sort of religious attraction based on the Garden of Eden, offering scripture and “history” lessons for Christians. Let's just hope the old fella isn't too upset when he finds out that it's actually just a national park.
The scene picks up just outside of the Garden of the Gods visitor center. Darren Zirado is leading the charge into the building. He seems very excited to get inside. Micheal and Cadryn are cautiously following behind him. Darren's a big guy, and when he gets upset he tends to hit people in the face with some southern justice. He's a really nice guy, though, and he would do anything for anyone, even someone that wronged him. That's just part of his Christian ways. They still feel safer keeping their distance from him, though. The three of them head on inside where they are greeted by an attractive young lady.
“Hi, would you be interested in taking one of our tours?”
Darren nods his head approvingly as Micheal and Cadryn look to each other before rolling their eyes.
”Well yes maim I think we would.”
She smiles and starts to turn around, but something catches her attention. It doesn't take long to realize that this girl seems to be lost in Cadryn's beautiful blue eyes.
”Excuse me, ma'am.”
She walks right by Darren without breaking her gaze into Cadryn's eyes as she says.
”You're excused.”
She reaches out for Cadryn to take her hand as she introduces herself.
”Hi sugar, my name's Mary Chokesondix, and you are?”
Darren and Micheal cut a look at each other in shock at the name she just said.
”Excuse me, ma'am, what did you say your name was?”
"MY NAME'S CADYRN!"
Cadryn awkwardly attempts to fist bump Mary, seemingly jamming one of her extended fingers in the process.
”Ow!”
”Dude what are you shouting?”
Cadryn looks back to Micheal with a very odd looking open mouth smile.
”I DON'T KNOW!”
Mary reaches out, places her hand gently on Cadryn's chest. This causes him to do a weird sort of full body tremor.
”He's just excited to see a pretty girl, isn't that right darling?”
”Maim, I think you need to take a step back and realize that you are acting very unbecoming of a lady.”
She smiles as she runs her hand down towards Cadryn's crotch...
”I assure you, sir, I'll be cumming soon.”
...and she touches the dick causing Cadryn to scream like a banshee.
”AHHHHH!”
Cadryn reaches down to grab this girl by the pussy, surely a headbutt is to follow. That seems to be Cadryn's defensive measures whenever he feels threatened by a woman. Thankfully Micheal Graves is there to hook his arm and pull him back away from Mary before things get out of hand. Cadryn, however, is yelling and fighting trying to break free of Graves grip.
”LET ME GO! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU BITCH! I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU JUST WHAT I DO TO PEOPLE WHO TRY TO RAPE ME!”
Micheal continues to overpower and drag Cadryn back, forcefully pulling him outside. Meanwhile inside with Darren Zirado and Mary the horny tour guide.
”Do you mind explaining to me exactly what that was about ma'am?”
Mary seems to snap out of a daze and looks up to Darren confused.
”I... I don't know, I just couldn't control myself.”
Darren smiles and places a hand on Mary's shoulder...
”You work in this here Garden of God maim. You are closer to our lord and savior than most people could ever dream to be. I think that you ought'a find one of the pastors around here and ask them to help you find the good lords power to overcome them sinful urges.”
… and of course, Mary looks more confused after what Darren said than she did before.
”Um, this isn't a religious place. It's a national park.”
Darren stands there for a moment with a dumbfounded look painted across his face.
”how can you call it Garden of God if this place ain't got nothing to do with the lord?”
”Maybe because it's a natural attraction, so God's credited for this park being here?..”
Darren thinks about this for a few seconds before nodding.
”I suppose that makes sense. Cept wouldn't that make all of existence a religious attraction, though?
Mary smiles to Darren before answering.
”Isn't it, though?”
Suddenly the scene cuts outside to Cadryn and Micheal.
”Are you okay?”
Micheal has his arm around Cadryn's shoulders, trying to calm him down, but Cadryn is a wreck, hyperventilating and everything.
”HEAH... HEAH... HEAH...”
”Come on man, it's not that bad! A girl grabbed your dick, big deal. If I were you I'd probably go hit it, she's kinda cute.
Cadryn looks to Micheal with sheer terror in his eyes.
”HEAH...
Micheal cracks a smile as he begins to lose his battle with not laughing at this whole situation. He feels bad for doing so, but seriously, I bet you're all laughing at Cadryn too!
”Come on bud, let's get you in the van and I'll round of Darren. “
Micheal leads Cadryn down to the van and gets him situated before heading back up to the visitor center. Micheal can't help but wonder why Cadryn has such a problem with chicks touching him, yet he has no problem grabbing other dudes asses as a way to say hello. I've heard the story about Cadryn's mom molesting him as a child and it's awful, but we aren't getting into that right now. This is supposed to be a Disney adventure damn it! So far all we've managed to do is sit in a van for hours upon hours just to end up at some dumb national park that Darren Zirado thought was a Christian retreat or something. I probably shouldn't be taking this trip, to begin with. I mean, I have a Universal Title shot coming up, and then just a few days after that, I have my round two match with Peter Gilmore taking on an incredible talent in Robert Main and his partner Justin... BAhaHAhaHAha! You know what? Before I round up Darren and get up back on the road, I think I need to address this upcoming match.
“Justin... Sayn... Dude, why are you even still around? Like seriously, what's the point of you being in the XWF? Oh wait, I remember now. You're here because you failed so badly as a psychiatrist that you ended up going insane yourself and shaving off half of your face with...
Micheal burst out in laughter again. This time he doubles over clinching his gut as he belts out uncontrollable laughter at the expense of one of his opponents at Warfare. After a few moments, Micheal manages to regain his composure enough to continue.
“...Dude, you sliced your face off with a cheese grater! Think about that for a second. Let it sink in. You were so bad as a shrink, that Cadryn telling you the story about him mom drove you to slice off your own face while you, how did you say it? “Cried like an insolent little bitch”. Bro, that's something else man. If it weren't for the fact that your face looks like rotted corn beef, I probably wouldn't believe a word of your story. What's worse is the fact that when you decided that shaving off your face was the way to go, you figured a cheese grater was the best tool for the job. So my take away from all of that is that you are not only one weak minded little fool, but also that all that I really need to do to beat you is clue you in on some of the traumatic events in my life. If I do that you might just finish shaving your head off and effectively make this a handicap match. Of course, that would only really benefit me if this wasn't already a handicap match. I mean seriously, Robert Main is a hell of an athlete, and he totally deserves to be in the second round of LL. He fought hard and earned that victory over Chaos and Reno, wild chair shots be damned. Then he comes into round 2, and he gets saddled with you? How in the blue hell did you even make it into round 2 Sayn? Oh yeah, you forced Mysery to submit to your sharpshooter. Well congratulations Justin, but I'm no Mysery, and neither is Peter Gilmore. Neither of us is going to be so easily taken out, and definitely not by the likes of you!”
“You know, you came into this company, and you said that your one goal was to cause Cadryn the same pain that he had caused you. First of all, you failed! You hardly laid a finger on him. Cadryn spent the rest of the night laughing it up over how damn silly you were in the ring, and in that awful promo that you released leading into the match. Second, Cadryn didn't cause you any pain bud. I'm sorry that you had some sort of accident when you were a child. I'm sorry that it left you traumatized and all kinds of fucked in the head, but maybe you should have thought about that before you decided to become a psychiatrist. That is if you even really were a psychiatrist, to begin with. I came to your office one if you can recall. I had some issues that I needed to work out, but all it took was five minutes with you for me to realize that you were a quack!”
“Leading into round one of LL, I saw that you were touring some comedy clubs hoping to find a new career. Well, Sayn if you ever need a job a McDonald's you let me know. I know a guy who knows a guy who's brother is the assistant manager on the Micky D's back home. I'm sure I could get your foot in the door if you throw some fresh play dough over that face of yours. If you turn out to be dumb enough to show up at LL and try to use that cheese grater on me, though, I'll make sure that you get your fully social security disability benefits early! So you'd best come out and play clean if you show up at all.”
“Robert Main, All I have to say to you is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you got stuck with such a limp dick partner bro. You showed a lot of heart in the first round, and I'm sure that you'll show that same heart and determination in this round as well. If you were facing just about any other team in your current situation, I'd have no doubt that you could soldier through and drag Sayn into the third round bro. Seriously, I mean that, but if you think that you can get past me a Peter Gilmore pretty much by yourself. Well, I'm not going to say it's impossible, but it is unlikely. Believe it or not, I'm rooting for you Main. I'm getting my opportunity to prove my worth to the modern era of the XWF this week on Savage. This Lethal Lottery tournament is an outstanding opportunity for you to prove your worth as well, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to give you a free pass either. If you want it, come get it!”
I head inside the visitors station and looks around for Darren, but he doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight. Perhaps the restroom I think to myself. I make my way into the men's room when I realize that I hear a shuffling noise coming from inside. I walk in and turn the corner and there is it. The good fucking reverend plowing Mary the tour guide right in the middle of the bathroom for anyone to see. Darren hears me walk in, and he looks up to me. Guess what he says next?
”Boy go head and get outta here, can't you see I'm tryin' ta put a little Jesus in her?”
The following 2 users Like "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post:2 users Like "Dark Warrior" Micheal Graves's post Peter Fn Gilmour (02-20-2017), Prof. Bobby Bourbon (02-26-2017)
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