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Hero Xtreme 7.9 · (02-18-2017)

The scene opens to a quote from, Jim Caedus, one of the rookies God will be facing March 1st.

Quote:God won't see you snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, he won't even be in the fucking building. You'll be wondering if God even EXISTS while the Bourbon Men are pummeling you half to death. Allow me to hit you with the spoiler: as pertains to the happenings of humankind, he DOESN'T exist.

NOCMM: No,

. He exists you're fighting him now. You were right God didn't give a fuck about whoever you were facing last time and you're right he refused to divinely intervene with your match. That's where the real news ends and the alternative facts begin.

NOCMM shakes his head at this Kellyanne Conway-style lie.

NOCMM: God was in the building. God is involved with the happenings of humankind all the time. He's the reason you're teaming with Rookiepool. You pretended God wasn't among you. Maybe you thought I wouldn't be around to point out how

you are?

NOCMM laughs.

NOCMM: Well here I am, bitch. The old skool fans wouldn't have known you were a fool, but they know now. They know everything now. Even this.

Quote: Fuck God,

NOCMM: God is a man,

. He'll never fuck you. He'd have to damn himself to Hell if he did that. Now we all know why you tried to tell Roxy Cotton about your size instead of showing her. You wouldn't have been able to get hard, would you? My client is your type? Why am I asking? You said it yourself. You're not even telling him which orifice you want to fuck, which is just rude. Now he'll have to make both of his entrances impenetrable, how inconsiderate.

NOCMM smiles.

NOCMM: I'd feel bad for Rookieman, since he drew two

in a row, but he's probably having the time of his life. He's a

too. Just wait. Now that I said it he's going to try and fuck Jim now. "I'm bi like Deadpool because I am him now, lol, fuck my ass, Jim. I'm kind of like God because I'm immortal, that's your fetish right."

NOCMM sounds way more like Deadpool than that fake knock-off Rookiepool.

NOCMM: Old skool fans, come one come all. Witness Jim Caedus, the gay athiest, as he teams up with the gay Deadpool rip-off. Which

superhero will Rookiepool think Jimmy barely resembles? Will Rookiepool meet another fat

new skool fan? Will Caedus double down on his pointless Atheism, or will we actually see some character development from this one note brute? Who knows? Who cares? They are fucking rookie pieces of green baby shit. Those answers don't matter. Those questions don't matter. They don't matter.

NOCMM pulls a lever and a monkey's head is squished by two giant logs as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.

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