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JimCaedus · (02-13-2017)

"HEEEEEEEEERE'S JIMMY!!"
(continued from "Nightmare in Dreamscape")

-ROBBIE BOURDON DOJO FOR THE COMPETITIVE ARTS-

I awake from a nightmarish sleep once again plagued by the stuff that comprises a thousand yard stare. What sets this morning apart however is the fact I feel darkly refreshed. Recharged; past capacity lethality even. I feel fuckin' fantastic, like I could crush a comic duo in the ring right _now_.

Despite Rob's generous offer of guest room accommodations I'd humbly opted to crash in the dojo.

'If you were in Texas you'd be waking up in a comfy hotel room booked by the brass.'

As if I haven't had it worse than this? Much, much worse? This was perfectly fine, I feel like a million goddamn bucks right now. Besides, solidarity as a Bourbon Man matters more to me.

'Then you should've taken Robbie up on the offer of one of the guest rooms.'

I'm a lot to handle, I'm not trying to weird these people out. My psycho ass needs to be eased into.'

'A bit too Cadryn there on that last observation.'

Speaking of which...

I check up on the promotion's official site.

Well well...

'One from Cadryn-'

Two from Killjoy. About damn time.

I enter the Dojo lavatory and take time to view the three promos.

Ah...so _that's_ their game. Ok, if that's how they wanna play it...

I take and finish a fat morning piss then make my way to the lockeroom to check my reflection in the mirror.

'You could probably do with a shower and some professional aesthetic tlc but fuck it. You know what to do.'

.............................

"So...apparent acceptance of anal rapeage from Cadryn and half-hearted humorless hijinks hardly heralding any sort of counter from Killjoy is what we get?" Dripping with venomous sarcasm. "I guess you two plan on losing then, right? Well...far be it from the Bourbon Men to be outdone, we're gonna lose TWICE as hard as _you_!"

'Fucking idiots over here is what they're hoping for.'

"Have either Robbie or I given the two of you any reason to believe we're naive enough to fall for a bluff like that or is it that the two of you think you're so fuckin' crafty you can out maneuver us like a couple of dipshits? You're trying to draw out as much of our trash talk as possible, attempting to dry our wells, fully intending on a climactic release with a saved up salvo on two men who've expended all ammo. Guess again shitheads, I don't run outta shells. I've enough hatred and anger in me to keep me chugging at terminal trashing velocity to outlast a lot more than you two realize. And Rob...he's even better than I am in my opinion.

Why allow yourselves to waste time half-assing this shit when with a few drops of dedication and effort you could've been keeping up with your particular brand of pressure the whole time? Or is what you said actually a sincere admission there, Cady? Pardon my possible paraphrasing here, you said that 'every time you fire upon us we return fire twice as hard so why bother' I believe it was? That only adds credence to my analysis of your intent unless you two really are basically throwing in the towel and I refuse to believe that as I'm, well, _not_ a fuckin' imbecile."

'Gotta hand it to 'em though, they're definitely at play with a practical ploy given the situational circumstances.'

"I may be predicting your moves but it's obvious the two of you require even more scrutiny and cautious attentiveness from Rob and I; we'll have to expect a similar strategy in the ring if sneaky is your weapon of choice.

Cadryn I knew simply through that dumbass, dusty Undisputed TV Champ paper belt bullshit of yours that our draw in the first encounter left a bad taste in your mouth for _once_ unrelated to overnight oral creampie morning breath; but I had no inkling it'd upset you _this_ much. You _really_ want some goddamn get back. Well guess what? I don't give a _fuck_ what you want. You want victory, you want revenge? I want it more than you and you apparently aren't thirsty enough to fight for it like a fuckin' man. You wage war like a woman waitin' and plannin' to poison my Fruity Pebbles. Suck my balls, bitch. I'll pie-face your

ass with that bowlful of toxic Total and tear your tits off before back-handing you and burying my boot up your busted-open back pussy with a swift fuckin' kick. Then I'll crush that colossal cranium with Katabasis, cocksucker.

And Killjoy...despite the crystal clear front, I expected more from you and so did your fanbase. The fuck was that? I've _never_ seen someone so spectacularly sack their own obviously OVER-hyped ability in context with what we all have on the line here. This is Lethal Lottery IV, fuck-o, you better start actin' like it. Or perhaps the fact of the matter is all you've GOT in you is one good shot and that's what you're stubbornly saving up. Maybe you were right...you should've stuck to sellin' your weak-ass wares as opposed to opposing opponents the likes of the fuckin' Bourbon Men. Fine by me; get your precious pink slip and get the _fuck_ outta the way before you get your passive pussy ass decisively DP'd in the ring,

. On the other hand, I hope you keep this shit up. With your lame lackadaisical approach and annoying asshole appearance you've irritated me to such a degree I've an intense urge to knock that hairpiece off your head before I viciously force your fuckin' face concave. Hell, I don't think I'd be able to stop myself from stomping and squirting your occipital and parietal lobes out of every orifice in your skull before I've attained satisfaction. I feel the need to run over that dome like a semi and leave it lookin' like a popped fuckin' grape, guy, I've had it with you and that goofy goddamn grin."

'That's enough for now. They want a waiting game war? Give it to 'em and wrap this chapter up.'

"The two of you can keep up the cliffhanger horseshit all you want, it won't keep you afloat after the wicked, twisted tidal wave we've in store, nor will those balloon-heads be enough to serve as sufficient floatation devices during our downpour. You're entering the hundred-proof perfect storm in the Bourbon Men, boys. We don't nurse, we chug like fuckin' champs. Prepare to pass out and get dick-faced, dumb-fucks. That's reality on the rook-rapin'-rocks."
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TO BE CONTINUED

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