Nate Higgers stomps into the room and drops a wooden soap box on top of a squid.


SQUISH 1...2...


He hops on top of the soap box and adjusts his Marlboro polo shirt, then addresses the sparse crowd/janitorial staff.


"Ahem...


It has come to my god damn attention that Gabriel Reno is not a legal American citizen. I have spent a lot of time putting in Freedom of Information Act requests with the XWF Staff, and reviewing personnel files. The following things have come to light:

One - Thaddeus Duke's gender is listed as FEMALE on HER birth certificate. Now, I ain't much care who's fuckin' who, long as they use the right toilet... but I don't think no girls should be in the ring with full grown men.

Two - Converely, Shelby Cobra has tested positive for Y chromosomes on every single drug test she's taken. Surprised? Me either.

But finally, and most importantly, three - Gabe Reno was born in motherfuckin' Tijuana. Probably has a fat whore for a mother and a donkey for a father, judging my the look of him.

Now, I didn't see no green card on file. And I looked. No long form birth certificate, no green card, no work visa.

Gabe... if that IS your real name (it isn't. He was born Pablo Marquez.) if you ain't here legally, you need to get right the EFF out.

That EFF stands for FUCK, which is what my red blooded American self will do to you if you don't get back on your side of the Trump Fence, you hear me? Probably won't get more'n three inches into that ass before I slam into a sack of black tar heroin anyway.

GO HOME YOU MEXICAN FUCK!



























































































Pussy."

PIN

Squiddo crawls out from under the box and rubs his head while looking at Nate with an angry expression.

Did you even kick out? Man, squids are terrible at this.

Winner and NEW Heavy Metalweight Champion - Nate Higgers