*SCENE OPEN*

It could be a basement, or just a dimly lit room. In truth, it looks an awful lot like something a cartoon/kid’s show villain might call home. Lots pf pipes and strange devices dedicated to art of pranks are strewn all over. In the very center of the room sit three things worth noting: a small table just big enough to accommodate a telephone, an actual rotary phone and a reclining chair that looks to be covered in fuzzy orange fur.

We watch this rather bare scene for a few moments more when…

???: Wait, I’m coming…just give me a second…

Our hero KILLJOY comes stumbling from the right side of the room (from the viewer’s POV). He straightens out his vest and dusts off his shoulders, then addresses the camera.

KILLJOY: Sorry about that kids, I was just checking the interwebs on just how far along my #KJXWFT51 movement is going along. And might I say the bandwagon is chugging along at a nice clip.

KILLJOY takes a seat on his chair, reclines back and begins to monologue

KJ: You know, having an actual goal outside of pranking the deserving feels…well, nice. I mean, I’ve worn the title ‘underachiever’ quite proudly for most of my career-slash-life. But trying to get on what is basically a subjective list of people in a very narrow field for no other reason that to annoy the powers-that-be and purists…

The Prince of Pranks steeples his fingers across his chest and gives a smirk

KJ: I suppose if I wanted to be completely accurate I should say so-called-purists. Those types that talk a big game but the truth about their life goals are written all over their super model faces. The ones that aren’t fooling anyone…
…I wonder, does SHADELL JONES even like what he does? I mean, does he enjoy the fact that he has chosen a career in sports entertainment? It sure looks to me that he is one of those types that is using it as a stepping stone to *makes air quotes with his fingers* better things like acting and stuff like that.

And what about that DUKE PRESTON fellow? I mean, if he is ‘living his gimmick’ like I do then he is doing a bang-up job. I mean, I know a bit about being considered unstable in the noggin but dang…

KILLJOY laces his fingers behind his head as he gazes up at the ceiling

KILLJOY: Wasn’t it old Willy S that said something about life being a play…or was it a game? I can’t recall…I like games though…games are fun. I enjoy playing games…mind games…Yahtzee…maybe a bit of Fallout or Skyrim…

A sudden disclaimer flashes on the screen

NOTE: Yes, Killjoy is one of those wrestlers that does play video games when not wrestling. This is not some sort of meta comment or an attempt at some outside force projecting his/her/its opinions or life on him. Killjoy is a real person who really wrestles…really…

…

…really.

KJ: I like to have fun. I don’t have any ulterior motive, at least until just recently. This whole Top 50 thing keeps gnawing at me. Could I do better than just the bottom? But why should I have to sacrifice enjoying myself in the wrestling ring to succeed? Look at what trying to be ‘the best’ has done to a lot of guys in this business. They just can’t seem to be happy, and when they actually have hit the top they are so paranoid they can’t even function.

Kings have that issues…prince not so much…

KILLJOY strokes his magnificent chin as he muses

KJ: Yep, it must be really hard to be SHANDELL JONES. Being snarky and
giving off an air of superiority all the time…I bet if he would just relax and enjoy himself for once instead of worrying about his, what do the kids call it…’street cred’ he’d be a lot happier. But of course, to cut loose he’d have to start ditching all those fancy clothes and stuff. I mean, I could smell that cologne he wears through the TV screen.

…

…

…

Wait…

…

…

…that’s it! I know what to do!

Killjoy leaps out of his chair and races off screen. The sounds of rummaging, crashes and the legally required chicken squawking are heard. Briefly an image flashes on-screen:

#KJXWFT51

KILLJOY returns carrying a pair of his now infamous t-shirt proclaiming his desire to create a XWF Top 51 list

KILLJOY: I can’t believe it was so obvious! Here I thought all SHAMWOW’s issues was based on a superiority complex. But it’s obvious the man is wearing ill-fitting clothes. Everyone knows that clothes designers have a deep-seated need to make their models and anyone who wears their designs to suffer! No wonder the man is so grumpy…

And I have just the shirt for you SHAMWOW! Not only is this far more comfortable than any of that fancy Gucci or whatever names they attach to designer clothes, but you might just enjoy wearing it! *to himself* I wonder if I can incorporate a flowery design to keep DUKE PRESS-ON happy?

Now, I know this would be a big adjustment for you SHAMWOW. In fact, there is a distinct possibility that you may need some…convincing that this would be for your own good. Now, if it means I must pin you to the ground (or mat,) to put this on you then so be it. Heck, I got at least two tries to get it right.

Yep, that’s the plan: when this Wednesday Night Warfare ends SHAMWOW JONES is going to be KILLJOY’s personal walking billboard for the #KJXWFT51 movement!

…

…

…

Look at it this way, at least I will be giving you a purpose in life besides being snarky and superior…

And I’ll just tell DUKE PRESS-ON that the voices in his head told me to tell him to wear the shirt. Dang, I am brilliant!

Satisfied with his…er…plan our hero dances around in triumph as we fade to black

WILL SHANDELL JONES AND DUKE PRESTON BE FORCED TO WEAR THOSE SHIRTS?

WILL KILLJOY BECOME THE TOP 51 IN THE XWF?

IS THERE A REASON WHY THE PRINCE OF PRANKS OWNS A FUZZY ORANGE RECLINER?

ALL THESE QUESTIONS WILL MOST LIKELY BE UNANSWERED…

…

…

…

*FIN*