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Chris Chaos · (10-14-2016)

Chris sat on the bed in the hotel, Marriott Downtown, as Kayla throws her dress back on and leaves. Chris hid her underwear on her, telling her he would look for them---he was keeping them---and sent her on her way. Once that door shut Chris let out a happy exhale, stacking the pillows up for back support. He sat on the bed, with his legs up on it, and grabbed the mint off the night stand. Popping it in, he flipped through the television channels. Texas Chainsaw Massacre was on, good movie. He loved this time of year. But no matter how he tried to focus on the movie, he couldn’t get his mind off what he saw earlier this morning on the XWF channel. Benito Angelo was at it again, sounding as stupid as ever. Taking a minute to collect his thoughts, and moving his leg with a wince, he began to speak.

“So apparently Mr. Angelo didn’t find my impression of him as funny as I did. Apparently, he took some offense to it. I thought it was brilliant. Either way, he wants to get serious, so let’s get serious. He said a lot of things that are fast forward worthy, but a few things stuck in my mind that I feel the need to address. Normally I wouldn’t give this two bit chump a millisecond of my time, but since I am facing him and Shook Jones this week, I guess I have to.”

He clears his throat audibly, chewing the mint and swallowing.

“Benito nobody will deny that you have spunk. You are high energy, and clearly have some balls. I appreciate that. But in this business you need balls and brains. It is clear that you lack in the second department. Let’s start from the beginning. My apologies”, he said sarcastically, “I didn’t take the time to realize that in any SANCTIONED match you have ever been in, you have never been pinned or made to submit. I was looking at FACT, and seeing that you indeed have been pinned during your quest for that joke you call a belt. So my bad for realizing reality. But okay, so what does you flaunting your little accomplishments mean for me? It means I have options. I can either hit you with an Equalizer BAM right in the center of the ring and pin you 1...2...3. Or I can hit Mr. Jones with one, BAM, and pin him 1...2...3. Or, my favorite option, I can make you submit. I can lock in the sharp shooter and sit down on it while Jenny holds your precious shiny blue belt and you have to stare at it while you have to make the decision to tap and end the pain. You see, pinning you means you could be unconscious but making you tap….oh yes….you will have to make a mental decision if that shiny blue piece of metal is worth the pain as your inside’s rip and tear. You will have to decide if your insides splitting open is worth the little belt you seem to hold so dear. And when you tap, you will KNOW that not only will you no longer be a champion but you will have to sit out of action for 30 calendar days. I was just going to beat you and go about my business….but Benito, now I’m gonna hurt ya. And I am gonna hurt ya bad.”

He grabs the Evian water---special request---off the night stand and takes a big swig, ending it with an audible “ahhh”.

“I also apologize for not knowing you are Italian AMERICAN. Hell, where are my manners? Maybe, just maybe, I assumed that? MAYBE I was taking a shot at your HERITAGE and the stereotypes associated with them. Have you ever watched a mobster movie? They all talk funny, dress funny, act funny—and they are Italian AMERICAN’S also. So, again, I won’t split hairs. You obviously can’t take it. So, for the purpose of being proper, you are Italian AMERICAN. You still suck, and so does your culture.”

Another sip of his Evian, and another “ahhh”.

“And you really want to question my 7 wins by asking who lost to me? The better question here is, who LOST to YOU? Shaker Jones is one. Maybe you have spun one too many rotations on your little chair, Benito. Maybe you didn’t see Warfare. I just beat the best this business has to offer. Doctor D’Ville has earned my respect, unlike you. He would chew you up and spit you out. He has beaten the best of the best here….and I beat him. I had to go to a place I didn’t want to go, to pull the demons in my soul out and bring them to the flesh, but I did it. Sure, I have beaten a lot of nobodies as well, but who hasn’t? Isabella is another one. That crazy bitch has earned my respect, also. Kitt Kennedy, who has beaten you----it doesn’t matter. I came within an inch of beating Dillinger, another top talent that this company has to offer. I have a chance to compete for the UNIVERSAL Title, the best title this company has. You will continue to wallow in the lower level of the Federweight and HeavyMetalWeight Division and fade into the abyss while guys like be take this company by the throat and squeeze the life out of it. I WILL be the Universal Champion to start 2017, and little shit stains like you are just mosquito bites on my way through the jungle.”

Finishing his water, he stands up, wincing again. Sitting on the edge of the bed he runs his hands through his hair, a sick look on his face now…..

“And Shook Jones. What is the matter? Afraid to open your mouth? I don’t blame you, because I am the guy to close it for you. I have no personal beef with you, because you haven’t pissed me off yet, but I DO know that you are a beginning of the card opening match kinda guy. You sit in the back and WATCH my main event caliber matches. You are an ‘up and comer’, but you are going to have to get your signature win versus someone else. I will give you this you showed some ruthless aggression when attacking Kitt Kennedy for the JV belt. I like that aggression, I like that heart. It will make it that much more fun for me when I break your spirit tomorrow night. YOU are coming on MY show and trying to make an impression. Not so fast, Mr. Jones. I admire your spirit but you will have to wait just another week. All the way back on October 1st you lost to Benito. It was a quick match, and you really didn’t look too impressive. I surely HOPE you bring more to the table than that. The choice is yours, Shaker, to show up or not. I would love the chance to tear Benito apart 1 on 1. Take the forfeit loss and save Vinnie Lane the medical expenses and hospital bills you will require by challenging me. Benito is a dead man, but you can still save yourself.”

Chris laughs manically before looking back at the camera with a serious look on his face, deadly serious.

“Did you SERIOUSLY just refer to yourself as upper echelon? Did you just SERIOUSLY refer to yourself as anything but a nobody loser who hasn't done anything here? Future TV champ? Hell, even Dolly in her pre-pubescent glory will take you to school and back. She’s a tough bitch, I’ve been in the ring with her. And my legacy is I can’t win the big one? It is funny you mention that. I used to feel the same way, honestly. After being screwed out of every World Title shot I got in PW, losing the Freestyle Title and The Tag Titles in One Night and then Losing to Dillinger in my first title match here, yeah I was in a bad place. But I, like a true champion, used it as motivation and rose above. I’ve never won the big one? Maybe you need to go back and look at the Warfare tape again because Doctor D’Ville IS the ‘big one’. Beating him is basically like winning a title here. Now, I have a chance to win the big one again and take down that tool of a Universal Champion we have in Scully. Your belt IS JV because YES, some of the biggest names here have held it, BUT they did so on their way to accomplishing much, much more. They left the belt in the past where it belongs. You beat LeStrange. Big fucking deal. You took that rolly-polly jello fuck Barney Green to his limit. Oh boy. Why don’t we just erect a shrine to you now?”

He stands up. Shaking his head and smiling to himself. “Why do I even bother with this? Neither of you are worth my time. Neither of you can hold a candle stick to me.”

Chris sits down in a chair at the desk by the hotel room TV. He begins to spin a little.

“You know, this is kind of fun. Maybe you have something here. If you can’t beat me, you don’t have a career? Imagine if I said that against Doc, against Dillinger, against anyone? The fact you are willing to give up your career so easily kind of shows how much of a bitch made

you truly are. Not everyone can last in the ring with me, Benito and Shaker. Neither of you two, for sure.”

He spins again on the chair, letting out a little “wee”.

“The Roman Coliseum, once a fantastic structure. What is it now? It has been reduced to ruins. You can’t even go inside to visit for safety risks. It is falling apart just like the rest of your flee-bitten home land. You have Soccer, that is about it. But so does the rest of Europe. Again, do yo want a trophy for being of Italian decent?”

Another spin and another wee.

“You are here trying to educate me on the economics of both of our countries. Why does that matter? Okay so you can go on Wikipedia, I am proud of you. You have the ability to retain numbers when you read them. Yippee…..”

Another spin. No wee this time.

“I look at this like the Animal Kingdom, Benito. You and Shaker are high energy little fucks. You are chipmunks. Me, I am the Honey Badger. Do you know what a Honey Badger is? It is probably the single most badass animal on planet earth. It stands toe to toe with Lions, Bears, Coyote’s, Wolves, whoever challenges it. It may not be the biggest, but it damn sure is the toughest. That is what I am….the toughest S.O.B to ever grace an XWF ring. You can knock me down but I will keep getting up. Over and over and over again. You will wonder to yourself what the hell it is you have to do to keep me down. Here is the answer. Nothing. Because you have to kill me to beat me. You act like this is the first time I’ve fought two men in the same ring. I have forgotten about more Triple Threat matches than you have even known about. I am going to go to that elimination chamber match, and I am going to win the Universal Title. You can watch from home while you sit out 30 calendar days as I continue to win and win and win. The chaos is upon us, and you two are just the newest victims….

You aren’t on my level, Benito, so you should feel honored and privileged in the ring when you, like all the others who have pissed me off before, become equalized.

Equalized.

Equalized.

1...2...3….

I’ll see you in November.”

Fade to black.

XWF RECORD: 7-2-2........and soon to be 8-2-2
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