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~~Dick of Peter Gilmour~~ · (08-19-2016)

Hi, Shade. I'm the Gilly Willy. You might remember me from such films as "How I banged your mom" "Stephen's Dad" and of course, "Deep Dark Anal Canal" That one was fun, it was just me going in and out of Barney Green's fat ass repeatedly until I threw up. Man, did I enjoy that. Barney keeps his colon and shitter clean. Except all of the mounds of dried Tranny Jizz up in there, but whatever. It's ok, because at least his shithouse is cleaner than Shade's record. Amirite? Of course I am. Because I'm the Gilly Dick, and you all can suck me if you disagree. SUCK ME YOU INSOLENT

.

That's right, you can suck me, and eat the gobbly bobbly nuts that are attached. Because what good is a dick without nuts? You'd have to ask Barney that one. That fat turd sandwich hasn't had actual nuts in forever. He was born without them, so them there Massassasschusetts doctors shoved Marbles into a sack and tied it around his one inch wonder how it hasn't fallen off yet baby pleaser. Sweet baby me, how the fuck can you pee standing up with that thing, Barno? Do you have someone hold it for you? And how do they hold it. Jesus, dude, I don't even have hands and my hands are too big to actually grip that thing enough to accomplish anything. This isn't fair to call you a man. Barney Green is now stripped of all masculinity. He's actually a TransHorsicorn.

I can't stop thinking about how tiny that thing is and how it's not going to impress any woman ever. Now, either I'm talking about Shade's record, or Barney's baby dick. Not sure which, though. Can you viewers at home guess? Or does it even matter at this point? Words can't describe how useless these two competitors are, and how little chances they have of making me change my mind there. It's just gross how you people want to try and call yourselves wrestlers and ruin the reputation my handlers have when they tell people they wrestler grown men while holding a severed dick. Yeah, that description wouldn't be embarrassing without you two fuckers ruining the field. Fuck, you make it hard for these dudes to get laid when they tell people about me. You owe them pussy.

Not like either of you could pull in decent pussy anyway. We've seen what kind of snatch Shade gets, and surprise, the sexiest pussy in his promos are those goddamn mother fucking panthers. Seriously, needle me, where did you find them? I want them. I want to ride one into the ring, and have it maul you. Alex, get me a panther to ride to the ring. I need to have it maul Shade across the face. And Barney? You don't get pussy, you couldn't even get inside of Kandi properly. You sad baby pleasing dick face.

Shit, son, how the fuck did you manage to hold onto the trios titles this long, Shade? I know you haven't had a match for it yet, but I thought that you'd have found a way to lose it anyway by now. I can't even talk about how terrible your ability to speak english is, or your inability to win matches. Those are so obvious it's barely worth it to mention them. What about the fact that you look like that

from Overwatch and you have two

peacocks as pets? What kind of goth kid are you? Who the fuck keeps peacocks as pets? In bee four you correct me on what kind of bird they are, they're peacocks

. You don't even get to tell me what kind of pets you keep anymore. They stopped being whatever goth bird, and panthers. They're now Peacocks and Miniature schnauzers. Eat me,

.

The Gilly Willy whistles, because why the fuck not? And suddenly Alex comes rushing out from wherever the fuck he was, and lifts Willy up into his left hand, and helps guide him towards the cup in his left. Willy slides into the Burger King King Size Cup circa 2003. Because why the fuck not? He begins to thump himself onto the side of the cup until Alex places a small paper crown on his head.

Thanks.

Alex remains silent, and carried Willy over to a bike, and places him in a pink basket with flowers on the outside of it, that's attached to the handlebars. Alex climbs on the seat, like a fucking man, which is odd because Alex is actually a 19 year old girl from Peru who is doing this because she lost a bet with the old handler. Anyway, she hops on and drives the Willy to the nearest Olive Garden, and brings him inside. Without the cup of course, he's nuzzled up right by her tits, which oddly smell of burritos. Although, that might just be Willy's insatiable racism. Who knows? All we know is that the dick is inside of that bra, and being carried in. Alex sits at a booth and orders as much Chicken Parm as they can make.

The staff starts bringing plates of the Parm, and Willy de la Gilly pops out of Alex's bra, exposing her Paraguayan tits to the world. He starts destroying that plate of Chicken Parm in front of him, shoving down his pisshole while Alex tries desperately to cover her milk holders, but it's too late. The staff comes over and starts trying to yell at Alejandro, the Dick, and Alex. Alejandro spits out a noodle, and looks at the manager. The manager eyeballs him, and lowers himself to meet Gilly Willy's glare. BOOM! ALEJANDRO SHOOTS A LOAD OF YELLOWISH CREAM RIGHT INTO HIS FACE. Shit, that dude might have an infection at this point. Gilly Willy probably has more than 3 infections.

Run, Alex. Screw covering them titties. We gotta go. Let the world see your Puerto Rican Princesses.

Alex grabs Alejandro and runs out of the restaurant with the Willy. They steal a motorcycle and drive away.

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