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Chris MacBeth · (04-27-2016)

Not so Humble.

The Union Inn is jumping tonight, there is a local band in the corner performing a mixture of covers of rock classic's along with their own original material in the hope that one day they will be spotted by someone of importance, producer, record company exec, Other people of that nature. They were in the right part of London for that to potentially happen but tonight their luck will be most likely out as none of the above were in the busy pub and if they were they would most likely be like the rest of the crowd and that is... pissed up. They would have been much better off heading down the road to The Monarch as folk rocker Frank Turner would quite often be in attendance and even Adrian Smith of Iron Maiden fame would occasionally show his face.

Yeah there is a real party atmosphere in The Union tonight, helped by that fact that a one group had all entered the building in full fancy dress for one of their birthdays. They had sat themselves in the corner and shots had been flying down their necks one after the other. Just now someone dressed as Austin Powers had just left the bar and was wobbling across the room with a tray full of shots of Jäger trying desperately not to trip, slip and spill the toxic water he and his friends were polluting their bodies with.

Monika was again behind the bar dancing along with the music while serving the two to three people deep crowd that were all waiting to be served. It was so busy that Dave had even jumped behind the bar to help out although he was pretty useless. Mainly because he was trying the old cocktail routine thinking he was a black Tom Cruise, flipping bottles all over the place and catching very few of them.

Ted was up on his feet on the small dance floor area with a couple of girls stood around him as he danced and sang along to this bands rendition of Bon Jovi - Living on a prayer. He had found a tie from somewhere and it was currently tied around his head and he was holding his hands up in the air with the devil horns as the girls giggled and laughed. Are they interested in him, Ted thought so but Chris wasn't so sure that they weren't just joking around.

Chris was sat in his normal seat in the corner of the bar area just generally people watching and making sure everyone was behaving themselves. This was something he didn't have to worry about really, any of the regulars had been regulars from when this was owned by Halliday and under Halliday's watch there was no trouble because if there was any, it wouldn't be just getting thrown out that would happen to you. The regulars knew who Chris was and that Halliday had left this place to him so they just continued to act in accordance to the previous rules set out by Halliday and Chris was happy about that as it is the same way he wanted to run this place.

Picking his phone off of the table Chris swipes his thumb across the screen to unlock it and taps in his three digit pass code. A text message appeared on the screen from Scully so he opened it.

"You ready to take out Gilmour and bring that gold to the Union?"

Chris taps in a quick reply.

"Fucking right I am!!!

Pressing the home button he notices he has a couple of snap chat notifications. He opens the app and can see a new snap from Ted. He opens it up and it's a video for Ted feeding bread to some ducks. Chris looks up to Ted who is now trying to clear some space on the dance floor for his next spectacular dance move he likes to think is the worm but in reality...

BANG!

It's more of a dive face first into the hard floor. Just like what had just happened. Chris is laughing as the girls are trying to help Ted back to his feet. Eventually they manage it and Ted gives thanks by no longer cramping their style and heading back to the table where Chris is sat.

Ted: "Did, you see those girls, I think they are into me."

Chris: "I think your drunk."

Ted: "I am good Sir, I am indeed."

Chris had notice something slightly different in Ted's dialect over the past couple of days but had brushed it over but he was definitely sounding different.

The crowd at the bar had whitled down and Monika now had it under control so Dave also made his way back over to the table carrying a tray with three pints of larger and three shots of apple sours. He placed the tray on the table and took a seat as the others all reached in and took their drinks. The three all necked the shots first before taking a swig of their pints to help nullify the sour apple taste from the shot.

Dave: "What you bitches talking about?"

Ted: "Absolutely nothing squire."

Again Chris is absolutely perplexed by Ted's use of the word squire and even absolutely but again before he can say anything...

Ted: "Who is that gentleman over there?"

Chris follows Ted's line of vision and spots a sharp dressed bloke in a nice three-piece suit stood at the bar with a glass of whisky sat in ]front of him.

Chris: "Oh, That's Felix, he comes in here from time to time."

Dave: "He doesn't look like the normal kind of people you get in here."

Chris: "What's that supposed to mean."

Ted: "I believe what Dave is trying to say is that is a sharp dressed man, not the punk rocking alternative type of simpletons that normally frequent this establishment."

Dave: "Yeah like ZZ Top."

Ted: "No Dave, ZZ Top had massive beards. They only sang about a sharp dressed man."

Ted looks at Chris and rolls his eyes at his friends stupidity but is met with a blank stare. Ted looks back to Dave then back again to Chris.

Ted: "What is it good man."

Chris: "Did you just use the word frequent and establishment?"

Ted: "Yes, what of it?"

Chris: "Why the fuck are you talking like that?"

Dave: "He's started watching Downton Abbey now he thinks he is some Lord of the manner trying to speak proper English."

Chris was about to say something when the sharp dressed Felix walks over to them and shakes Chris' hand.

Chris: "You off buddy?"

Felix: "Yeah but I'll see you Wednesday mate."

Chris: "Ok mate, see you later."

Felix says his goodbyes to Ted and Dave who just stare at him looking confused, he then smiles at Chris and turns and walks away. Without looking back towards Chris...

Ted: "You know him? He knows your name."

Chris: "Yeah so, I own a pub he drinks in. Stop being weird. Don't forget to bring your camera equipment over tomorrow, I need to talk with the XWF Universe about that douche Peter Gilmour."

As official interviewers for The Union Chris had sorted some old camera equipment out for Ted and Dave which he is sure has recorded more footage of them jerking off over and pictures of Maria Brink than it has anything else, it's ok though Chris thought to himself, someone had too, the ugly tramp.

The next morning Chris is sat in the same spot as the night before with the sun bursting through the window behind, Ted and Dave have set up their camera on a small tri-pod in the middle of the table. Monika is sat with Chris as they laugh and giggle with each other. Ted walks into the room with a Hollywood movie directors chair followed by Dave, the set the chairs which have each of their names on them up behind the camera and Monika gets to her feet and walks out of the room and into the kitchen.

First of all, a recent quote from Hart Champion Peter Gilmour.

Quote:I heard what you had to say in your promo and indeed it will be the final round between us. You may have beat me in our first encounter. But I was a different person then...

Fuck me Gilly, no shit you have become a different person... Somehow it seems you have ether established some special powers maybe the art of reading minds seeing as I was in an empty pub talking to myself from within my sometimes dark, mostly crazy subconscious. I believe in the comics it would be called an inner monologue, did you not read comics Peter, no Batman, no Spider-man, or were you an Archie kind of guy? Fuck it I don't really care what you are it changes nothing, that is a fucking skill you have there, a real fucking skill.

Hey Pete, what am I thinking right now?

...

..

.

If you guessed that I was thinking about a full English breakfast you would be right again... Well done Peter you're a star. Oh look here comes my breakfast now. Thank you very much Monika.

NOM NOM NOM Peter, NOM fucking NOM.

Chris opens his mouth and shows a mouthful of hash browns, bacon and sausage to the camera before finally chewing t all and swallowing it down quicker than Gilly swallows a fat load of Makavelli's sticky man juice.

What the fuck was I saying? Oh yeah, Big Pete and his special fucking powers of reading people's minds. Or maybe he hasn't got special powers at all, maybe I was that drunk I was talking out loud to myself, wouldn't be the first time... Shit that is more plausible actually seeing as the only thing special about Peter Gilmour was the special short bus he used to ride to school, poor little Pete with his carebear backpack hung over both shoulders sat on the front row getting shit thrown at him. That being said though, if this really was the case then Peter must have been in the vicinity of my "CLOSED" pub without my knowledge listening in creeping outside, looking in through the window like the poor kid from down the street whose family couldn't afford their own television set so would try to sneak a peek at ours. That could also be called being a stalker. Are you a stalker Pete, were you stalking me Pete, you creepy little bastard.

Macbitch, Macbitch, Macbitch, Macbitch.

Peter "The broken record" Gilmour

Get something new in your repertoire man, I mean fuck. If your wrestling has become anything like your boring and un-original promos it is no wonder you failed to take that strap off of Vinnie Lane and ended up quite literally in the shit. I have given you shout outs in the past, even put you somewhere on my level when it comes to entertainment within this XWF and entertaining the universe, I fear now though that I was wrong after all, I have completely misguided myself into believing you are better than you are just because I had an off day and you actually beat me. Now I have seen the light, so to speak and have realised you are nothing but a undeserving Hart champion in fear of losing so have aligned yourself with two more like-minded individuals in the hope that you may all elevate each other's abilities.

Your wrong by the way...

It won't...

No on Wednesday Night a few miles up the road from this very spot at the home of football, that is real football, not egg chasing football, I will be successful and show the world what a failure of a Hart Champion they had been supporting for the past couple of months and after it is all done and everyone has gone home I will walk out of the stadium, I'll head down Wembley way, I'll hop on a tube at Wembley Central and make my way across town back here to Camden not only as XWF Tag Team Champion but as Hart Champion as well and that will be the next step fulfilled of The Unions mission of taking what they have always deserved... Respect.

Now if you would fuck off, I'd like to finish my breakfast.

Just Saying!!

The camera cuts off just as Chris shoves a fork full of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

Ted and Dave start collecting up their equipment and taking it back out to their car which is parked out the front of the pub. Monika returns to the table and sits in next to Chris again.

Monika: "Are you sure you are ok with me coming with you on Wednesday Night?

Chris: Of course, I have gotten you front row seats as well so you can celebrate The Unions tag title win and then of course my Hart Championship win with us. You are as much a part of this than any of us are.

Monika smiles and gives Chris a peck on the cheek then stealing a piece of bacon from his plate.

v

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