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#MemeQueen Luca Torchwick · **04-01-2016, 09:12 PM**

I got a question, Vinnie. A really important one that I feel I'd be remiss if I didn't ask.

Did you think I was being facetious when I said you could say the word and I'd lay down for you? Did you think that was a joke? That the sentiment wasn't there because, like I said, you need this title - "King of the XWF" - much more than I do. See, all I have to do to get the relevance you could only dream of (which is doubly sad because you're the Universal Champion) is open my mouth. Drop a couple dank memes, maybe a gif here or there. Next thing I know I got twelve hungry

, an inter-dimensional cross-dressing Leprechaun, and all the ships at sea crowding around my nuts, trying desperately to get Luca senpai to notice them. Meanwhile, you can't inspire a fraction of that same kind of reaction even with that fuckin' prop around your waist. You're supposed to be the guy, but everyone wants to fuck with dat Luca boi and his little brother Austin Qrownando.

We're already the top of the federation. The real measuring stick; the real force people want to beat. You can take meaningless main event matches against the likes of Peter Gilmour (because no one with any actual talent cares enough to fight you L-O-L), we'll be a little further down the card, crushing the careers of anyone with any sense of momentum. We'll be the ones crushing the people with promise while you play ring-around-the-rosie with stagnant fucks. Maybe your next match can be against Ghost Tank. Fuck it, give Lane the easiest slate of challengers you can, he needs to hold onto that prop for as long as possible, lest everyone start to forget who he is (like that hasn't already happened).

I don't need this little title, Vin. I don't want it. You can have it man, because you need it much more than I do. You need all the little trinkets you can get your grubby fingers on. Because that's your personality. Your aesthetic. So quick to claim you're the best athlete in the world, so quick to say all these things, and then so quick to prove your own insecurity. To try and throw some bullshit at me; act like I can't handle the pressure of having two matches in a week because you just can't come to grips with the fact that while this is supposed to be your time, it isn't. Not really. You're fucked; your great title reign dead in the water, killed by the fact that Peter Gilmour is the only person who fucking cares.

Way to inspire respect, Vinnie. Way to get the roster to notice you.

Say the word. Either of you. I'll lay down. Let you guys have the "glory" of being XWF royalty because, let's face it: what's a King to a (#Meme)Queen?

Really, did you guys expect any different? I've spent my whole career clowning the XWF, weaseling my way into opportunities for the sole purpose of wasting them, and this whole King shit is no different. Sorry, Maverick. See, I know you want to screw me out of this match, to really get under my skin because you want me to notice you. You want me to accept your challenge, to make up for your past failures. To redeem yourself. Isn't that the reason for all this? You're tired of being a fucking joke so you think you can come and annoy me. You think you can just bug the ever loving shit out of me and that I'll finally concede. That all it takes for me to finally accept this match is for you to just get all up in my shit at every turn.

Here's the truth, Mav.

We're never going to have that match. You're never getting the chance to redeem yourself from your shattering loss. It doesn't matter how many times you get up in my shit. Though, next time aim that gun at me you fucking pussy. Don't point it at Maddy, or Fern or Kingsley, if you want to get my attention; if you want to show that you're a fucking man who can stand up for himself; if you want to prove definitively that despite it all, you have a set of functioning testicles, point the fucking gun at me. Blow my knee away.

You fucking spineless cunt. I want you to stew over these words. I want you to realize how much of a fucking pussy you really are, while I tell you that you'll always be a pussy. You'll never get your match with me. You'll die nameless and forgotten and unloved. I'll make sure of that. You thought you could fuck with my dudes and get away with it?

Nah man.

That was the peak of your career.

You'll hit the trough soon enough.

Because here's the thing, Mav. I can end your career without ever setting foot in the ring with you ever again.

Just.

Like.

That.

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