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Travis McCoy · (03-16-2016)

Travis sits on a shitty porch next to Chris Tucker...no.

That's not right. Let me start again.

Travis is in the back of an Uber. The driver is all like “OMG ALLAHACKBAR” and then Travis is all like “JENNIFER IS ALREADY AT THE BAR AND JESSE IS TOO DRUNK!”...

Fuck, no, that's not it either.

Travis is rolling down the street in his six four, he's jocking the bitches and slapping the hoes...

Fun, but that's not quite right either.

Travis is...

Getting ready to go out and meet Declan?
Fighting a racist society?
Drinking wine and watching Orange is the New Black?
Trying to get a mofuckin scholarship and get out of the hood?

No, No, No, and No.

Travis sits in his locker room(because he's a wrestler) with his head in his hands. He's not tired, he barely worked up a sweat beating Branden(because he's a wrestler). He should be on top of the world, celebrating his first (wrestling) win in XWF but he's not. He's sitting alone in his (wrestlers only) locker room with his head in his hands because he's seen the card for next week. He looks up into the camera and his eyes burn with frustration.

“But...

I don't want to.

I don't want to spend another week wasting my time on nobodies. I know I accepted his challenge, but for fucks sake this Menos guy is a clown. I'm also pretty sure I accepted a challenge from a white guy. A little white guy. Now he's black. I'm not fucking kidding, the dude changed colors and attitude over night. Now I gotta listen to this shape shifting Rachel Dolezal mother fucker beep bop his way through promos for a week. Jesus, he's gonna talk about his “hood” isn't he? My god, I bet he stayed out of gangs because the homey's knew he had a chance to make it. Oh! Better yet, I bet he fought his way out...WITH HIS FISTS!

Christ.

Was his dad still a wrestler? I'm not sure where to even start, he lied about the color of his skin for fucks sake. He flips his story at the drop of a hat, seemingly because I called him on being a boring coward fuck. Look how impressionable the little fellow is. He fired his manager because I told him to. Joey...are you listening? Quit. Go home and live out 'It Was a Good Day' for the rest of your life, go watch the entire Friday series on repeat until the last few are good, go fuck fat white chicks, I don't give a fuck what you do, just leave. Don't make me suffer through a week of your cliché nonsense. You don't want me to have to listen to it all week before I step in the ring with you because it's just motivation to erase your mood ring complexioned ass from the face of the earth.

You won't listen now. You just won't. You're gonna do it anyway. You're going to jive talk all week and just make me fucking murder you. Let's start a pool! Whats the over under for black stereotypes Joey is going to fall into?! Put the number wherever you want it I'm taking the over all day. I bet he says nigga, I bet there is gang activity in his past, I bet he talks about the streets. Joey, lets get this perfectly clear

You're Michael Brown, and I'm Darren Wilson.

Raise your hands all you want I'm still installing a moon-roof in your skull.

And just when I think it couldn't get any worse. IT DOES! Believe it or not XWF has enough shitty talent that there are worse people out there to listen to than Joey Menos.

Don't believe me?

I have to watch episodes of total diva's all week, or maybe it's one tree hill, I'm not fucking sure because half of everything Ginger Snaps produces seems to be aimed at teenage girls and lobotomy patients. I shit you not, most of the tapes I've got of her involve her swooning over some boy, I think. I zoned out through most of it. She's fucking garbage. Pure unadulterated GARBAGE.

Harvey was a schlub but at least I had something to dig into. I had fun pissing on his parents grave. What am I supposed to do with a bag of glitter and 10 year old girl fever dreams? Like...oh my god...ricky is so cute. Tina said the CRAZIEST thing yesterday! Eric brought you flowers? ERIC BROUGHT YOU FLOWERS?!
WHO.
GIVES.
A.
FUCK.

What are we here for?!

What,
in the FUCK
are we here for?!?!

Because it's not this bullshit. It's not 'da club' and unrequited love. It's VIOLENCE. It's WRESTLING, and this shit I see just isn't that. It's bullshit to fill time, to make it look like you had something to say. We're all hitting fast forward. No one is honestly paying attention to this shit, are they? Am I alone in not giving a single fuck who slides between Ginger Snaps' legs? You're a fucking insult to women. You're the reason why some men hate females. You're an empty headed cunt. You're an insult to everything I am Ginger. 15 fucking years of toil and real heartbreak, broken bones and torn muscles and I have to sit and listen to your love triangles?! This isn't a sexism thing either before you throw out your razors and become a feminist for a week, it's not because you're a woman. Plenty of women do what I do and do it well. It's because you're a fucking hello kitty nightmare. You're 50 shades of grey with out the rough sex. You're a girl pining after a sparkly vampire!

Why are you even here Ginger? What pulls you away from your network romance drama to wrestle? Because I see no connection between the bullshit you live and working here. If you've told everyone before and I missed it, excuse me, because I fast forward through 50 percent of everything you put out there, and I'm sure as hell not binge watching The Bachelor to understand your motivation.

I don't need this shit. I don't deserve this!

I'm the best thing to walk through those doors in God knows how long, and my second match here is against a stuffed animal and a racially confused little boy.

FUCK IT

You know what? It's going to feel really fucking good inflicting punishment on both of you. Because that's exactly what you two deserve for being shit stains on our business. Punishment. I'll make examples of both of you. Examples to management and the rest of the roster here. If you're going to come at me it better be with substance. If management likes having jokes like you on the roster, then they should keep your kind the fuck away from me because I'm not laughing. I'm not laughing at what people like you are doing to the only thing I love.

Fuck you Ginger.

FUCK
YOU.”

FADE

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