“So who is your best? The blonde lady man? He seems to have your big gold but I've looked and I don't see much from him, and judging by the cut of his jib, I doubt I'd be impressed. Maybe it's the clown fellow opening portals and talking to unpronounceable names.

I'm trying to catch up. I'm trying to get up to speed, but you cunts don't make it easy.

Or entertaining.

Fuccboi? You've gotta be fucking kidding me.

Did I really just watch a woman get drunk on a plane? It was better in Bridesmaids...Did you think no one had seen that? Please don't reply to this. I have better shit to do than fuck with your kind.

What is this place?

My eyes and ears are bleeding.

I'm thirsty,
I'm in withdrawal,
I'm fucking DYING here.

I want competition.

This Wilmer Valderrama, yo momma, #suckmydick stuff isn't going to do it either.

I want one of you to make me give a single fuck about you.

I'm here waiting.

Impress me.”

FADE

Hey there guy.

I'ma eat your brains on TV.

Your mom will weep.

Your daddy will be ashamed of you with everybody else down at the local bar.

Your sister will masturbate while thinking of my gorgeous blue eyes and these dimples.

She's going to look at her used Maxi pads and think of what I wiped off my face after I ate your brains.

She's going to masturbate on her period to me.

And none of them will even remember you.

So, hi!

Come to the dojo, I'll cook you a steak, it'll be awesome.

“And it appears XWF's spewed forth more of the same just for me.

Lovely...

And still I don't give a single fuck.

OK...lemme try this your way.

Yo homey, my dick is so big

heyyo fuccboi, suck it

*picture of cat*

yo momma

pollock

wigger

.

*another picture of a cat*

…

…

…

You disgust me. This is the best XWF has to offer? Christ. Maybe I should go back to selling cars. Because as hollow as that shit left me, having to watch this bullshit is going to leave me carving my initials on a rafter before I tip the chair over and hang myself.

I'll own this place in a few months if Bourbon is any sign of the quality of my coworkers.

However...

They will remember me, you, Fernando, Silver, LeStrange, Loverboy. Every last one of you will remember me. Because I'm the breath of fresh air this dump needs. While you've all been here having twitter beef I've become the best damn wrestler alive. I was born into this. I'm the wolf at the gates. I'm the alpha...you're barely a beta.

So unless management seems to think otherwise. I'll pass Bourbon, you're not worth my fucking time.”

FADE

(03-02-2016, 01:20 PM)Travis McCoy Said:


You disgust me. This is the best XWF has to offer? Christ. Maybe I should go back to selling cars. Because as hollow as that shit left me, having to watch this bullshit is going to leave me carving my initials on a rafter before I tip the chair over and hang myself.

I'll own this place in a few months if Bourbon is any sign of the quality of my coworkers.

Ha, he most certainly is NOT the person you should be using as a measuring stick, I assure you Mr...what was it again, McCoy? Goddamn, ANOTHER McBitch? You guys really should form a stable, help each other get over.

Banner created by Gabe "The Radical" Reno

XWF Career accomplishments/Highlights:

One Time XWF Universal Champion
Two Time X-Treme Champion
One Time Intercontinental Champion
One Time World Tag Team Champion
XWF All Time Top 50 inductee
One Time 24/7 Briefcase Holder
Intercontinental Royal Rumble Winner
Captained the winning team "Team Dominance" at War Games '15
Lethal Lottery IV Finalist
July 2015 Superstar Of The Month
March 2017 Superstar Of The Month
October 2016 Promo Of The Month "Changes"

Becareful what you say bro I mean between being a fan of the xwf to now an xwf employee I've see them come and gone. But if you wanna competition try a 7'2" 335 pound giant on for size.

NOW BE MY BITCH ASS HOLE!!!!!!!!!!

Yo, Trax, you know what a McBitch really is?

Your sister in her McDonalds uniform.

Ahahaha, just kidding, just tossing jokes out there.

It's you in a McDonalds uniform.

McCoy, you kind of owe it to yourself to tell a man who offers you a steak how you like it cooked.

Don't be a grievous little shit.

Don't. That's not conducive to our business.

Not at all.

You will be glad to still own your ass after three weeks around here, stud. You'll be happy as a pig in shit over the fact you aren't permanently scarred or maimed.

Well, unless you have some crazy super powers or something. Do you bend time and space like Lux did?

Anyhow, meatbag, let's get down to brass tacks.

My name is Robbie Motherfucking Bourbon.

And I am the measuring stick around here.

I taught Game Girl to fear, I taught Nitro Philly-Cheesesteak to swear, I taught Vinnie Lane to love, I taught the Black Hand to laugh, and I took half of Luca Arzegotti's fucking money.

Don't listen to the liars, Trav, drown them out.

Listen to me.

I never lie.

I will eat your fucking brains.

I will turn your bones into a few sets of wind chimes and sell them at a local craft fare and use the money on clarinet oil. I don't even own a fucking clarinet.

I will sell you for what you're worth.