08-30-2015, 07:20 PM
I've decided to take some time to, you know, reevaluate things. I lost to a dick. Yeah, I said it. I lost a wrestling match to a penis. Let it be known that I wasn't pinned by said penis, but instead I was put through a table by a penis, with the obvious aide of its helper. Surprised the thing had the mass to put me through a table but y'know, it's fine.
It's a learning experience. Still not quite sure the lesson but hey, how's the saying go? You can't teach an old dog new tricks?
Maybe that's true.
Maybe I just don't got it in me anymore.
Maybe I should just hang it up while the damage to my career is minimal and I can blame it on a freak thing due to being drunk and high during the match.
I could go out with some kind of class.
But this is wrestling. When has anyone ever done that?
No, instead of being a boring piece of shit I'm going to keep on fighting, keep on tarnishing my legacy with random bullshit because that's how the business works and this week I'm going up against a veteran in his own right, Fontanna. A veteran who decided to interject himself in my affairs last week. My jaw still tingles from where you hit me, man. Nice shot.
Too bad, for your sake, that it was a fluke.
See, that shit ain't gonna happen this week. Not over my dead body.
"But you also said you wouldn't lose to a dick" I can hear some sweaty geek excitedly typing because he thinks pointing out some bullshit makes him cool. You're right. I did. And I was wrong. I'm never wrong twice in a row so, here we are.
Standing across from the guy who has so much on his plate he's digging into me on his third go round of the ol' bullshit buffet. How's your little war with the CCWF going man? Just, going, ain't it? You're throwing pebbles here and there and ducking when they turn around with their flamethrowers… come on man. Don't take your eye off the prize. The CCWF ain't the guys you gotta worry about Monday, you got me.
Of course I'm the guy who lost to a dick so I'm sure you got this in the bag.
You'd be surprised.
See, I was slacking off even harder than usual last week. Had them kid gloves on to the max but now? Now, I got no reason to play around.
Now I got my back against the wall.
Or, because I'm a rat bastard, I guess the better analogy is that I'm backed into a corner. That's where rat bastards like me are the most dangerous. So bring your bravado, bring your arrogance, bring your intense self assuredness that you got this locked down.
I'll bring the skills and deviousness needed to snatch this victory right out of your groping, grasping hands and leave your broken body staring up vacantly at the ceiling for the CCWF vultures to pick at your bones.
That is, if they care enough to devour you.
Otherwise you'll rot.
Oh, wait.
You already are.
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