A few days have passed since Relentless. Robbie Bourbon, the Man of the People, was last seen in New York City, calling out various past members of the Black Hand. Robbie was on the verge of winning the Intercontinental Championship from Game Girl after one of the wildest matches in XWF history when the Black Hand made their play, distracting Bourbon and allowing Game Girl to pick up the win. Many feel that the loss of Robbie Bourbon's brother and dojo in the days leading up to Relentless may also be traced back to the Black Hand and even Pest himself.

He faces Glisten on the next Warfare.

THE MAN IN ORANGE

We open to see the grounds of what used to be the Robbie Bourbon Dojo of the Competitive Arts, a general conservatory of all manner of art forms from Pro-Wrestling to Competitive Cooking. Most of the rubble has been cleared since we last saw it, and it resembles more of an open lot. A crowded lot, make that. Tents and other portable shelters have been set up all around the grounds, including a food truck. A wrestling ring has been constructed, next to it is a penned in weight training facility simply called "The Brickyard". It seems some of the Bourbon Men in it are actually lifting what appears to be chunks of the old dojo in some ritualistic show of identity. Under one of the canopies we see Robbie Bourbon sitting at his desk. His office has been completely and faithfully recreated underneath the shade. The hot D.C. summer, however, is not the comforts of air conditioning he'd been accustomed to previously. Across the desk is a couch, populated by his best henchmen. Cyberjaw, the man with the cybernetic jaw, Diamondback, the man who can blend into any crowd, Robo-Rob, the robot from Rocky IV that's painted to look like it's wearing a Robbie Bourbon mask, and Clyde the orangutan all crowd onto it.

Damn it, who let the robot on the couch?

Cyberjaw and Diamondback shift constantly on the crowded couch.

Shh. It's almost on!

Diamondback ignores Robbie's insistence of quiet.

What's almost on?

The news, dude!

Aw, man, why?

Robbie pivots the screen on his desk so everybody can watch. The lead in ends as the anchors introduce themselves. Tonight's top story is a piece about a carjacking in southwest D.C. with a passenger taken hostage.

That's terrible.

I know. I hope the police...

The next story leads in like a flash. A college girl in Georgetown was sexually assaulted.

Fuck.

I know, but...

Another story. This one about tennants of an apartment building in DC complaining about the violence in their building, and how the landlord does nothing about it. An old man was beat up for his Social Security money, police suspect to buy drugs.

How is that even fucking relevant? I mean, the cops are going after drug dealers instead of the assholes responsible?

Robbie, what did you expect?

We hear the voice of Blue from behind the camera.

I don't know, more I guess.

Robbie pulls his own cellphone out and looks at it for a moment.

Look, what you did at Relentless was amazing, even if you lost.

Don't remind me.

It was! And your message about standing up and not letting diversity get in your way was beautiful. But just because you tell the world "Hey, look at me, I'm a bad ass and I'm fighting for you" doesn't mean the world is immediately going to change. It's going to take work.

Robbie stares at the camera as she speaks.

Work? WORK? Okay. Fine. I'll go to work. Just watch.

Robbie stands up and walks toward the camera. He takes a deep breath and we get an extreme close-up of the floral print of his Hawaiian shirt.

Honey, I'm sorry for snapping. It's just, fuck. The people need good news for a fucking change. It's seven-fifteen right now. I'll see you later.

We see Robbie walk off towards his chocolate brown 1994 Oldsmobile. He turns, looking vexed.

I forgot something. Where are the zip ties?

---

We open again to see a life from a dash mounted camera, focused up towards Robbie Bourbon as he keeps his eyes on the road.

Jesus. Fucking traffic. Some of the worst in the planet, I shit you not. Without traffic it literally takes me five minutes to get to the White House. With, well, let's shoot for forty-five.

So, Glisten. Looks like we get to face off on Wednesday Night Warfare. My one and only home at the moment. Am I looking forward to it? Sure. I owe it to the people to come and see you, even if you aren't a threat to them directly.

Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm really scouring for that time when I thought to myself, "man, that Glisten guy, he should be taken seriously with all those sexual puns he throws about". It just doesn't sing to me, could be there's a loss in translation. Maybe I'm missing something here? You don't really seem at all like the kind of asshole I was hoping to pull out of the woodwork, here. Well, I guess someone thinks you're an asshole. Somebody doesn't like you. Somebody has a vendetta they need fulfilled.

Somebody sent you into Warfare against me.

Hello, Glisten. Hello, America. Hello fucking traffic jam, even though it is very pretty and I think it's cool when the Metro goes by. I'm Robbie motherfucking Bourbon, and I beat the shit out of the fucking animals the slaughterhouse wants ready for supper so hard, they turn inside out.

See, there's a food pun, right there. I think. I'm kind of confused by it but it sounds rough. Plus, I like to cook.

So, I'm going to go back to...

We hear the screech of brakes as Robbie grimaces.

MOTHER FUCK ALMIGHTY WHAT THE HELL! LEARN TO FUCKING DRIVE YOU GODDAMNED CUM BUBBLE! Jesus, I mean, this fuck right here just went and fucking cut me the fuck off! Shit, you gotta go to the fucking bathroom or something!

Fuck it. Fuck it all. The Man in Orange versus the Golden Man. Shit. I turn good guy and I fight someone who sounds like a Bond villain. Not your description, you really do sound like a fucking Bond villain. Lookit me, Agent Orange.

There's another fucking pun for you.

---

10:56 PM

We hear crickets chirp as citronella candles illuminate the grounds where the Robbie Bourbon dojo once stood. Campfires are set up here and there around the grounds, and the sounds of song and festivities take the air. We see the familiar gang of idiots sitting on the couch, still fighting to squeeze in all four of them on the three man couch. Suddenly, the couch collapses under their weight.

Ooh, I don't think Robbie will like that.

Shh. We'll just say that it was Robo-Rob. Robbie will never be angry with an inanimate object.

We have it recorded, you jackass.

Cyberjaw turns to the camera.

Delete it.

No.

Come on, you know you want to delete it.

His Stephen Hawking accent cuts through the air.

Nope.

Heh, deal with it, man, he probably won't...

With that, the 11 o'clock news comes on.

Tonight's top story is an interview with a young woman in Georgetown.

11:01 PM

"I was walking home, and it was late. I just heard about the other girl."

"Did you know her?"

"No."

"What happened?"

"Well, I was walking home, and it was late. I turned down my block to my house and I heard something get knocked over. I turned, and this guy was there. He had a knife and he told me I was going to be a good little slut for him."

"What did he do?"

"Well, he stepped towards me..."

We jump ahead to the top of the next story. Violence erupts in a local apartment building.

11:06 PM

"Yeah, I heard the noise outside my apartment. I've lived here for 45 years, and I've never seen anything like it."

"What did you see?"

"Well, there's these boys that come down here and just hang out in the hallway. They're teenagers, none of them live here. Well, they're not good kids. They beat up Reggie yesterday, and he's as old as I am."

"What was happening today?"

"Today? Well, I saw them in a corner, and I saw smoke. I figured they were just smoking their cigarettes again. Then I saw what they were burning. It was a dog. The damn thing ran all over the place, and damn near caught the building on fire..."

We jump ahead again to the top of our next story. Carjacker found, hostage safe.

11:13

"Hello, are you okay?"

"Yeah."

The little girl looks up at the camera innocently. She's all of three.

"Did someone take your car today?"

"Yes, I was in it!"

"Was your mommy there?"

"No! I was scared. But I'm okay now..."

And we did all that skipping because they all said the same thing.

"...and then a man in orange showed up!"

11:05

"The man in orange, well..."

We're given an amateur video taken by a witness. A man skulks up to the woman from the news, when suddenly we see Robbie Bourbon come charging in, clobbering the guy and sending him flying. Bourbon walks over and picks up the would-be assailant and puts him in a hammer lock. He then stomps on the back of his calf, splitting his tibia and sending the bottom half of it through the skin of his shin. A spray of blood hits the concrete as Robbie wrenches the assailant's arm further, separating the shoulder. He pulls out a pair of zip ties and links them around the assailant's wrists. Robbie glances at the woman, then bolts down the street and around a corner.

11:09

"This guy was big..."

We see another amateur video, this time from the point of view of one of the pricks trying to burn the dog alive. We see as the poor creature yelps and runs in circles, when suddenly we see Robbie Bourbon come charging in, spraying down the dog with a fire extinguisher. It stops and shakes the residual chemicals off of itself, bald but unharmed by the flames. We then are treated to a first person view of Robbie Bourbon grabbing one of the delinquents by the scruff of his neck and plowing his face directly into the brick walls of the tenement, leaving grafitti in the shape of a smear of his own blood on the surface. Bourbon then grabs the other two delinquents in stereo mandible locks, and procedes to slam them both skull first into the floor, chipping the aged tiles it's composed of. We then see Bourbon crook his head towards the camera, a look of pure unadulterated rage consuming his very being. We see his arms shoot out towards the sides of the camera as it cuts out.

11:15

"A man in orange?"

The little girl nods her head yes then turns her head away from the camera into her mother's bosom.

We see yet another work of a concerned citizen with a quick draw and sharp eye for camera shots. We see a car, a Jeep Cherokee, trying unsuccessfully to bypass traffic at the corner of 14th and U at the heart of the District of Columbia. As the horn blares, we see in the back seat the little girl bawling, screaming for her mother, when suddenly we see Robbie Bourbon come charging in, diving headfirst through the windshield of the Cherokee. The Jeep rocks back and forth for a moment, and then the passenger door opens. The carjacker crawls out, and lands on the pavement on his hands and knees. Behind him, we see Robbie Bourbon, his face shredded from the trip through a windshield and whatever happened in the vehicle, breathing so heavily that the blood dripping from his face sprays with each breath. He springs from the open Jeep door onto the back of the carjacker, grabbing his head with a fistful of hair. Robbie then pounds the carjacker's face into the ground, reaches into his back pocket, and pulls out a pair of zip ties, anchoring the carjacker's wrists together.

The Bourbon Men sitting on the broken couch, still in stunned silence at 11:20 as we hear a car door slam shut behind the camera.

Any better?