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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
Evo has Nothin' on Me
Author Message
Christopher Isles Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Mixed reactions

(cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
08-29-2015, 02:51 PM








[We fade in on a video game store somewhere in San Diego, where we see the arm of Christopher Isles, the challenger for the upcoming Intercontinental Championship match on Wednesday, and the hand of his friend/manager, Dustin Evergreen, looking for some games to play. The store appears to sell both newer and retro games along with their consoles. The prices aren't all that high compared to what you'd see at a GameStop or Ebay. For example, the NES is only about 50 bucks new. Dustin points at a few games off that caught his interest. They include Final Fantasy, Zelda 2, and Bubble Bobble. Chris kneels down and looks at them, checking the price on each.

All three of them appear to be ten dollars,which is amazingly cheap if you know what they go for online. Knowing that his friend picked him out and that the console and games don't cost too much, Chris writes it down on something offscreen. He briefly shows it to the camcorder before heading over to the cash register to pay for what he wrote down. From what we've seen on the list, it takes up an entire sheet of paper and would cost quite a small fortune. In fact, it was in categories of consoles; from the NES to the PS2. Dustin points the camcorder over towards the cash register, just keeping the cashier's face out of the camera's eye, possibly for personal privacy. Before we can see the games be read, the scene fades into something different.]





[We fade back in on Chris and Dustin front and center in in the camera's eye. The plastic bags that contain the games are just to their left and right, respectively. Both of them have huge smiles on their faces and look absolutely thrilled about what they're going to play. Chris pulls off a quick salute to the camera before speaking to the viewers who are probably sitting on their asses and watching this on their computers.]

Christopher: Wassup, brah? Me and Dustin went on a shopping spree to pick up a large amount of video games back in San Diego. Now keep this in mind, guys, we're not just fucking around with this project of ours. We're doing this to understand just what kind of shit should be expected in this match.

Dustin: Ya mean you don't understand the match you made?

Christopher: I do, but I'm just trying ta see what ta expect, ya know? I can't just expect Mario and Zelda for the 80's and ya surely won't just see Time Crisis and Street Fighter for the 90's. So I'm playing the games I didn't grow up with and trying to get the bare bones grasp of what's coming.

[Dustin shrugs.]

Dustin: Fair enough, I guess. What ya wanna start out with first?

[Chris looks over at the pile of the games he bought and somewhere off camera. Instead of opening up anything from the bag of games he just bought, he points to somewhere off camera, presumably to something that he already had set up to his TV.]

Christopher: How 'bout the One?

[Dustin looks over to the X-Box by the TV offscreen with an incredulous look across his face, surprised he'd pick something he already set up instead of one of the older consoles they just wasted probably over a thousand dollars on. He scoffs over his friend's choice and turns back towards him.]

Dustin: Ya shittin' me brah? We just 'bout emptied our wallets to get some old consoles to play the X-Box?

Christopher: Gotta practice everythin' brah, even your strengths. Turn that shit on and let's nail some sick tricks.

[Dustin gets off the couch and proceeds to walk around the camcorder to turn the console on. Meanwhile, Chris pulls out two controllers from under the coffee table their camcorder has been resting on for the majority of the promo. Dustin then walks back over to the chair and takes the controller that Chris is handing him. He then sits down, looking over to his friend with a smile.]

Dustin: Say, before we start shootin' people in the head, ya have anythin' ta say ta Game Girl?

Christopher: I don't have much at the moment, but I think I could come up with some more when we start pullin' the triggers.

Dustin: 'Kay.

[Dustin proceeds to load up the game and Chris begins to shift focus to the camcorder, occasionally looking over towards the game to see just what mode his friend is choosing for him in the game of his choice; OlliOlli. Dustin chooses multiplayer and, since he's holding the first controller, goes first. This gives Chris some time to talk to his opponent for Gold Week.]

Christopher: 'Ey Paige, 'ey Game Boy, how goes saving your world? Good I hope, otherwise you'd be glitching and bugging out so badly that ya no longer look like people. Can't have that now, can we?

[In the background, Dustin can be heard grinding off a rail and onto some small kiosk.]

Christopher: I can say that I have very little info with your generation of gaming. You came to be in the late nineties, I think? Yeah, sometime around the time the SNES was on it's last legs. Yeah, I don't know what your creators were thinkin' when they were makin' ya. I mean, the 64 and the Playstation were hitting the market around your birth and they decide to make a SNES game. No wonder you were scrapped. That's terrible business right there.

[Dustin wipes out, successfully ending his run.]

Dustin: Oh god damn it.

Christopher: Couldn't even go five whole minutes without fucking up, huh dude?

[Dustin laughs this off as Chris begins to take his turn. At least he would if he hadn't fucked up by forgetting to hold down after hitting a rail. His character can be heard rolling to the bottom as Dustin laughs hysterically at his friend's failure.]

Dustin: Just like real life, huh brah?

Christopher: Oh shut it, I just forgot how ta play the game is all.

[Dustin shakes his head at Chris' forgetfulness and ineptitude. He then takes his turn again and proceeds to rake up mad points. Chris takes this time to talk about his opponent some more.]

Christopher: So anyways, congrats on becoming the new official hero of the game, I guess. That River City treatment must be bullshit, but hey, at least you're a positive role model for women in gaming. Like Samu-oh, shit, can't say that. 'Specially after the Big N made her into a grieving mother after a Metroid died. How about Lara Cro-no, not her either. She was and always has been sex appeal, even after the revamp. Maybe Pea-god damn it, not her either, ya haven't been kidnapped a thousand fuckin' times over.

You're a minority I guess. Well done. Too bad no one will really remember ya for a game that's pretty much vaporware.

[Dustin wipes out again, only this time on an improperly timed jump over a gap. Dustin groans to himself as Chris picks up the controller and starts his turn.]

Dustin: All that talk about those video game chicks made me think about what I'd find on Tumblr or shit like that. Ya think there's some Rule 34 shit of her on there?

[Chris' eyes widen in terror at the thought. He shudders and loses focus of the game. He proceeds to wipe out by skating on stairs, which makes his character bounce around for a bit before face planting.]

Christopher: Damn it, brah, ya fucked with my head thinking about some perverted Japanese people who'd draw that shit.

[Dustin chuckles a bit before continuing with his point.]

Dustin: Had ta ask, brah. You know how sick the internet is with fan art.

[The wrestler sighs as Dustin picks up his controller.]

Christopher: I do, unfortunately.

[His friend can't help but laugh a little more as he proceeds to take his turn with OlliOlli.]

Christopher: Oh, and I can't forget about your belt there. Ya know, the one ya kicked Duke's ass in order to get? I mean, how could we forget your awesome defenses against Harrison and Robbie. I mean, who could forget the Street Fighter match where you spammed your special moves to take out most of his health and then used fast travel to escapee a roided up Harry. Oh and how can we forget the match with Robbie which showcased that you were too stupid to eat? And when the third round came you took advantage of a distracted Robbie and...hit him upside the head with a hammer...huh.

Ya know, the more I think about it, the less heroic you're starting to sound. I mean, come on, that's dirty as fuck. It also doesn't help that you had help in defeating your two tag opponents, brah. I'm starting to think that under all those special moves and cheat codes that you yourself are guilty of using, you're nothin' more than a evil little bitch. What next, ya gonna kill your boyfriend on horseback 'cause the game wasn't about you from the start.

Dustin: Don't give her any ideas, brah, you know that she'll actually do it if ya tell her to.

Christopher: I'll tell her whatever the fuck I want her to 'cause I'm the player. I'm the one that controls how the fuckin' characters move, fight, or even talk. Wanna know why, brah?

[He flashes his controller to the camera.]

Christopher: 'Cause I'm the one playing. The game can't play itself, ya know, there has ta be someone pushin' the buttons in order for ya ta get shit done. And when I push the buttons ta control you? You have no idea just how many lives you'll end up losin' 'cause of me.

[Chris looks over to Dustin, who still hasn't wiped out yet. He whistles out of amazement and watches Dustin pull off some awesome tricks that we can't see.

Christopher: Damn, brah, even after all that trash, you're still goin'?

Dustin: Yeah, dude. I'm in the fuckin' zone right now.

Christopher: The zone? Brah, are ya Kanye West or somethin'

[Dustin chuckles and willingly wipes out so he doesn't look like a show off in front of his friend.]

Dustin: You don't play that many video games, do ya?

[Chris shakes his head in disagreement.]

Christopher: Not since my dad died in that accident, no.

Dustin: Mmm...well then I might as well teach ya so ya don't get distracted in your match then.

[Dustin reaches over for the camcorder and pulls it closer towards him.]

Dustin: There's gonna be a lotta shit flyin' at ya, brah. I gotta get ya ready so you can become the champion you always dreamed of.

[With that, the scene cuts to black.]

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