WORLD 9 - LEVEL 2

As we go to the Cursed Woods in the dead of night, a small campfire illuminates the wooded area. Game Boy is asleep on the bedroll next to Aggro, Game Girl kneels up cooking a marshmallow over the fire while watching Robbie Bourbon's latest promo.

Robbie Bourbon Said: Look, that girl wants to slap the Intercontinental Championship on some pressure plate to get a sword to fight a Narnifex.

"I'm actually getting Nirva's Sword to save Narfinex. Fighting Narfinex would be counter-productive, it's okay Robbie, my story is hard to understand I guess, it is aimed at ages seven and up."

Robbie Bourbon Said:The least I can do is prevent that shit from happening. Also, I'm fucking curious, alright! First man to ever travel to another dimension? Hell yeah!

"Hate to break it to you Robbie, but technically you're the second. Sorry. Way back when, Game Boy got a riddle confused and ended up bringing Gator into our world, so yeah, you're second place. But you better get used to that idea :)."

Game Girl continues to watch the rest of the promo, fairly entertained with Robbie's antics. Until GG spits out the hot marshmallow at Robbie's words on the video game world he is in.


"Are you freaking kidding me!? Set power of trash talk to 60%. Robbie, are you fCENSOREDing kidding me!? Is this some kind of sick joke? You go into a world where all these characters have collided, are these programmed copies of famous video game characters just frolic around doing their own routines and you say, lol it's pretty sweet! For Nirva's sake, I thought you said you had me pegged? And this is were you go, with all your money and technology you go to some fantasy. Okay, let me spell it out for you since those brains I once thought you had have quickly evaporated into a steaming pile of grey matter that's worthless to even the most skilled brain surgeon."

"My world, is no longer a program, it is no longer a run of the mill video game it is unshackled. We are free and we are facing real danger. But this is all some joke to you right? You haven't died yet have you? Oh but it's fine because you have extra lives so who cares about dying? It will still hurt you. A lot. Also, since you're in their on your own that means you have no player, so who's going to hit continue for you? Can't use that fancy Power Glove when you're staring into the abyss of a Game Over screen you fracking moron. But you're so funny, it's all a GAME! How hilarious! Feel real lucky that Resident Evil isn't going through the whole inter-dimensional travel my game is going through or else you would be so screwed."

"Also, I love the fact that last time you were so worried about evil coming into your world but now that you're seeing it first hand it's all harmless fun. But the difference in your world is that no one sees it coming? So you have no news network. You have no highly intelligent organisations that overlook and contain dangerous situations. Like we had no idea that Narfinex was beginning to corrupt and turn the people we once knew into monsters. Destroy our world one pixel at a time. We don't have news. We don't have millions of people with cell phones, we have no internet. And once more, we have basic weaponry and some forms of magic. I'd much rather take my chances on Urf."

Robbie Bourbon Said:There is no combating all the evil people in the world.

"Then why do you want the title? And no switching your words up here, you want the belt so you can wrangle up every single evil-doer and beat em all up. Good job with Hastur by the way Soda. First of all, solid plan Robbie. No scum of humanity can resist a mid-tier championship belt held by a fat man in a mask, they'll all be lining up at the gates just to get a shot at you. Second of all, what the heck makes you think you can get the job done? You're good, but not that good. You're second place, silver medal, number 2 on the leaderboards. Basically you're nothing to me, I tried to be nice, I tried to be pleasant but when someone shows how much of a total a$$*0l3 they can be, that's when I have to step up. Something you seem to be incapable of doing because all this that I'm seeing now is complete trash compared to what I saw last time."

Robbie Bourbon Said:I want to be a hero; no, I want more. I want to be the giant on whose shoulders other heroes stand. But, as much as I want that, I'm really only one thing, and one thing alone.

I'm Robbie motherfucking Bourbon. The man of the people, operating at a stricter timing regimen than any of the denizens of this place.

"And I'm Game glitching Girl, what makes you so darn special? You want to be more than a hero huh? That just sounds like a trademark villain to me. The man who wants to be more, he wants to be that so much he doesn't care who gets crushed under his foot. Man of the people. Haha. How? And why? You only seem to hang out with your worshipers and an adorable orangutan how does that make you a man of the people? By that logic I'm woman of the people, or does woman of the pixels sound cuter to you? You know, since you're just the master of cute little game worlds. You're not a man of the people, you're just a fake. You wear a fake face, hang out with your fake friends in your fake life and go to fake worlds and think you're accomplished. If you have me 'pegged' then I know your every single pour."

"... So there's no negotiating with you, because you're and I quote 'a chopping block'. You sure don't know chopping blocks very well do you? One, chopping blocks don't talk. Something I wished you would have learned first. Two, a chopping block is a just a block of wood with a single use and another name. Describes you perfectly. Another replaceable human who thinks he stands a chance, who thinks they're better than me because they're from another world, who wants to be something they can never achieve. So, listen up you block of wood, you pi$$3d off the wrong girl, and I won't beat you within an inch of your life. I'll cross you out for good. You're still a D-list villain, like your father before you, so on so forth. I asked you to tell me the truth before, to say what you mean! I wish you could have just done as I asked, just this once. More like Robbie Stubbourn, lol."

Robbie Bourbon Said:You didn't jump off the tracks, my dear, you've stoked the flames of the engine and just stepped onto a bridge.

"Then I guess I'll burn the fCENSOREDing bridge down."

"Power of Trash Talk off."

Game Girl rubs her tired eyes and looks back at the black crispy marshmallow that is covered in flames at the end of a pointed stick. GG sighs and throws the stick into the fire, falling onto her back and looking up at the stars in the clearing of the trees. She slowly blinks and her eyelids close.

---

Meanwhile on boring old Earth we go to a lovely apartment situated in Hollywood, California. Gabe Bachgan, the creator of Nirva's Sword and our heroes, slowly enters and whistles to himself in admiration of Ai Gōngzhǔ's home. Ai for those who don't know or remember is Gabe's long term close friend and was also the sprite and world artist for Nirva's Sword, she has the only copy of the game in her home, a thoughtful gift from Gabe. A thoughtful but stupid and rushed gift. Gabe steps into the room closing the door behind him and walk onto the immaculate white carpet and towards the ridiculously large wall mounted television, Gabe goes straight to the huge collection of video games stacked categorically on shelves above several consoles. Gabe peers behind his glasses as he bends down scanning the spines he makes satisfied oohs and aws as he moves passed the rarer and better games.

After a minute or two of fanboying, Gabe stands up straight and walks through the living room, he takes a long look through the huge windows and admires the view of the Hollywood hills. His phone starts to ring as he moves on.

"Ai! Hello."

"Hey Gabe, so you're finally at my apartment. Took your time."

"Yeah sorry, been busy."

By busy he means eating, sleeping and updating his blog. Gabe walks into the kitchen and takes an apple and takes a bit.

"Ah yeah, it's been busy in Montreal too. This Assassin's Creed game is taking way too much time, thanks next gen. Giving me so much more work to do. I miss the old days y'know? I could get a board done in a day, now it takes a month to make one section of a city. Stressing me out."

"Yeah I hear you.. How did you know I was in your apartment by the way?"

"Oh the doorman rang me saying a bear made his way in."

"What a nice guy calling me a bear."

"Yeeeah, Drew's a douche."

Gabe makes his way into Ai's office demolishing the apple on the way. It's a small square room, red walls, large desk and a high end computer on top of it. Art fills the room from various video games and opposite the door framed on the wall is the beta cartridge of Nirva's Sword, Gabe smiles widely.

"Heh, didn't think you'd frame the cartridge."

"Best gift I've ever been given, needed a good place."

Gabe steps into the room, tossing the apple into the wicker bin and getting close to the frame.

"So how do I open this thing up?"

"There's a little clasp on the right side of the frame, just apply pressure and the glass should pop open."

"Seems overly complicated for just a frame."

"It's actually easier, and I'm a sucker for innovation."

Gabe presses his pudgy fingers against the frame and the glass pops open, Gabe carefully takes the cartridge out of the frame and holds it in his hands, looking at the art with a huge smile.

"Be careful with that alright? Means a lot."

"Don't have to tell me Ai, I'll bring it back to you as soon as possible."

"I trust you. We still on for dinner when I get back?"

"Yeah of course. Thanks again Ai."

"Don't mention it, see you Gabe."

"Bye Ai."

Gabe taps on his phone and places it back in his pocket, he turns to leave and we fade slowly to black.

---

Back to the Cursed Woods, barely five minutes have passed in Narfinex as we see Game Girl peacefully sleeping. Until.


"Man I miss wrestling!"

GG snaps up awake and looks at Game Boy lay down on his side eating a marshmallow. GG sits up and rubs her tired eyes and stretches out in a yawn.


"Beating up bad guys, talking with so many interesting people. Shame, I never got a REAL title."

Game Girl smirks and grabs her bag and sticks her hand into the bottomless satchel, slowly revealing the Intercontinental Championship. GB spits out his marshmallow shocked, such a waste.


"You mean like this?"


:O "How and when did you get that!?"


"Did I not say? I'm sure I showed you this before?"


"How did you get the gosh darn belt Paige!" >:[


"I beat Sebastian Duke for it."

Game Boy sits up and scoots forward looking at the belt closely, the gold shines in his eyes and he looks up at Paige who is almost falling asleep at this point.


"Can. Can I hold it?"


"Sure dude. . ."

GG lazily hands the belt to GB who admires it, making a noise similar to the one GG made when she saw Aggro for the first time. Game Girl yawns again and falls back down onto the small pillow she was laying on before.


"Don't get attached to it though, need it to put on the pressure plate Nirva's Sword is placed on."

Game Boy looks at the snoozing Game Girl with his jaw hung. He looks back down to the belt as Paige begins to quietly snore.


"It's so cool. So beautiful. So. . ."

Game Boy pauses as he curls down clutching the belt.


"Precious."