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Hero Xtreme 7.9 · **04-12-2015, 07:13 PM**

NOCMM: The spic made a promo. It was so lazy.

NOCMM hangs his head in shame.

NOCMM: Austin, you really should've taken my advice you stupid fuck, but no you had to stay true to your Mexican heritage. That's pretty sad. Austin, I was pulling for you. I really wanted there to be a Mexican main eventer. That groups needs a gardener. We need somebody to water the plants and somebody to laugh at when they get too excited on taco night and get taco stuff all over the face. I guess it's a dream that will have to die since all you do is boring promos. According to Karl Cross and Mastermind these promos can make or break you somehow and you're screwing the pooch hard.

NOCMM chops down a tree and kills an entire squirrel family. It was their family tree.

NOCMM: I mean seriously, you spent pretty much forever to shoot your entire long and boring promo and all you talked about was some rookie I've never heard of. I actually had to Google this person because I had no idea who the fuck you were talking about. It was Dead Nick. For those of you old skool fans that don't know, and I mean all of you, Dead Nick is some shitty rookie who sleeps all day and is a

. I guess Austin Fernando had a stroke and now he thinks that guy is in the match on Wednesday. He spent an entire promo talking about someone who barely exists.

NOCMM puts all the acorns he can find in a trash bag.

NOCMM: Are these promos supposed to be stupid little time wasters? I thought the whole point of making a promo was TO PROMOTE. Maybe I've been doing it wrong. I bet promo is short for something else in this shitty federation.

It doesn't take long for NOCMM to figure out what promo is short for.

NOCMM: PROMONTORIES because they're so fucking shitty everyone would rather send them out to fucking sea then have to watch them. I don't make 'natural elevations'. I make promotional materials and I refuse to conform to this company's gay way of making video content. I'd go to Hell for that. I'm not going to Hell.

NOCMM bites some lettuce.

NOCMM: I'M GOING TO HEAVEN!

NOCMM ascends to the clouds with his trash bag full of acorns in hand as the scene fades to an Xtreme shade of black.

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