The scene opens in Scully's living room. The XWF'S resident is fast a peep on the sofa. The TV is on as it appears Skull was watching Gator's recent promo. Alfie walks into the living room as he notices Skull snoring away. Alfie looks at the TV screen and then looks down at Scully, who has a bit of dribble on his chin. Alfie nudges Scully....
"It wasn't me who stole the cookie's from the jar!"
Skull shouted out as he sat up. Skull rubs his eyes and wipes his chin with the back of his hand. Alfie just shakes his head.
Alfie "Skull, you're meant to be watching Gator's promo."
"I tried, it was a little boring. I told you I wanted to watch the Teenage Mutant Hero Turtles!"
Alfie "You can watch that after, there's plenty of time for that. You should really concentrate on the tag-team championship match."
"I am prepared. It's all that's been on my mind."
Alfie "Clearly not, considering you've been dreaming of cookies and you want to watch the turtles."
"Radical dude. I am already a champion. I have the XWF Championship. I am also the Dumb and Dumber Tag-Team Champions!"
Alfie "But you brought them, just like Sane brought the XWF Tag-Team titles. His is an official XWF Championship"
"Hey! I created my titles like I create my own pizza, when I order one from the take in."
Alfie "Take away, Skull!"
"Whatever! What's your problem, anyway? I've seen Gator speaking to Todd like a dick, but I've not spoken to like you're a cock. Why you all up in my oven?"
Alfie "You mean grill. Okay if I'm honest, I know something and you've yet to tell me."
Scully looks confused...
"I'm not sure what you mean? Enlighten me."
Alfie "Well you never told me Natalie is moving in and I live here too. It would have just been nice to know, that's all.
"Oh... Yeah, I forgot she was moving in."
Alfie "How can you forget? Actually, don't answer that. I actually, genuinely believe you."
"You don't need to worry, it doesn't mean you have to move out."
Alfie "Thanks. It's about time you two became serious.
"I know, she's my girlfriend!"
Alfie "I'm happy for you, dude. Anyway, you need to watch Gator's promo again. I'll come back in half hour. I know how long it takes for you, to digest it all in."
"Do I have too? It's so unfair!"
Scully sulks like a teenager. Alfie leaves the living room area to go and do whatever he has to do.
Half an hour later.....
Alfie enters the living room area with his camera and two bottles of Budweiser. Skull is just sat there, staring in to space.
Alfie "Hello... Scully.. Wake up."
Skull returns to earth as picks the bottle up and uses his teeth to take the lid off. Alfie uses a bottle opener.
"That was painful to watch, Alfie. I told you I wanted to watch the the turtles and you made me watch that! I don't get why Gator is so angry, especially against me. What did I do?"
Alfie "Maybe he's annoyed, the fans are starting to like you? Maybe, he just isn't getting any?!"
"Getting any what?"
Alfie "Sex, Skull. Maybe, he isn't get any sex?!"
Scully bursts out laughing in an immature way because Alfie said the word, "sex". Alfie sets up his camera and nods for Skull to start. Scully just continues to stare at the camera. Alfie then gestures a thumbs up, still Skull doesn't take the hint. Alfie "Ready Skull?"
The camera starts rolling as Scully begins to speak about the upcoming tag-team championship match.
"Welcome folks, your XWF resident here. How was your Easter? Did the Easter bunny visit you? He did me. I even did my own Easter hunt in my back garden, that was fun. Although, I found them pretty easy. I don't know why, I knew exactly where I put them.
Anyway, on Raw is War, I team up again with the XWF's resident title shitter, Maverick. We team up to face the so called 'champions' Justin Sanitary Towel and Gator The Masterbator. It is for the XWF tag-team championships.
It appears Gator hates me, he dispises me, he also is trying to be like me. I mean he doesn't think much of his tag-team partner nor Sting. He pretty much said he was better than the pair of them. What a small headed, Cunt! Gator, is such an ego maniac, not an Hulk-A-Maniac like.... Alfie, my camera man."
Alfie "I don't like Hulk Hogan!"
"Sssshhhhh.... You do now! Anyway, if I go missing and you find that i've been murdered, we know Gator did it. He will be the number one suspect, he said it in his first promo. He warned me and Mav, that if we don't give one hundred percent, then he'll murder us. Well, it looks like Maverick will be murdered. I have put my shaft in, that's for sure.
Now I have had it pretty shitty for a while, until the Leathal Weapon pay-per-view recently. In fact, Gator wants to speak about War Games? Yeah, War Games, when Team Pest defeated Team Mastermind. Oh, I was on Team Pest and Gatoroid was on Team Disaster. I beat you, whether you like it or not.. Na-nana-naa-nah! That was in fact, the last time Scully tasted victory before Lethal Weapon.
I've been a patient like I was at the doctors, I haven't given up and now i'm about to become one half of the XWF tag-team champions. I am going to lick after my belt. I will feed it, bathe it, take it to the shops and I will cuddle it at night.
All you have to do Gator is speak and you win? I'm pretty sure you have to enter the match and actually, physically do something. Ya know, wrestle? You can't just talk rubbish and win, it doesn't work like that!
Why would I insult you for being British? I'm from Britain too, dumbo! I'm going to insult my own nationality?! Duh!"
Alfie then interupts Scully.
Alfie "Erm... You've just been referring to Gator's first promo, again."
"Cowabunga. Nevermind. Let's move on to the Dire Straits that Alfied forced me to watch. Why do you need Todd? Because he's the only thing or person that makes your promo's entertaining, without him they would suck even more. Look, what happened to the chair was an accident. You upset my feelings... Those poor seals. If anyone is fake, it's you. Hiding behind a mask, not because it looks cool right? Cuz I hate to break it to you, sweetheart but you look like a giant... Erm... Tomato!
I don't get care if Corvus got arrested, I hope he drops the soap and..... What happens when you drop the soap, Alfie?"
Alfie "I've never been to jail, so don't ask me like I know from experience. But if you must know, when you referred to Corvus dropping the soap, you said he is going to get bummed, pretty much."
"Oh, he'll enjoy that. What a copout though? Corvus got arrested, so he can't defend the tag titles? Obviously, too scared to face Scully. You're such good champions, you couldn't beat 'The Three Queens', in the first place. Remind me, Gatoroid, how many times did Sting and Sanitary Towel, defend those titles? Enough said. The Corporation? Who are them?! As for my bestie, Pestie, we're still good friends. He's my buddy. You pretty much said me and my buddies, haven't done fack all? My partner, hasn't burnt it? I mean, earnt it? What are you smoking? Not just plain cigerettes. obviously! Smoking's bad for you. Me and Maverick earnt this match against the chumps. Guess what? Egg and snot!
When we win, the XWF will finally have some 'real' tag-team champions, again! I'll tell you what, Gatoroid, I'll do you a solid. Hang on, I'll just go to the bog, be right back...."
Alfie "Skull, it doesn't mean that, in this instance. It means, you'll do him a favour."
"Oh, I thought that I'd ring that number Gator gave me, and they'll send me a number two in the post. I was just going to send one back. But if that's what it means, then I'll do you a solid, Gatoroid. I'll give you a number, you and your partner will need... 911. I know that number, I pranked it the other week and then that thing happened, I fell down the stairs. But I'm okay now, sort of. It was very dramatic, Mav rescued me. Anyway, ring them and they'll provide the former tag-team champions from the Defiance, with an ambulance. Anyway, it was lovely talking to you. Afterwards, everyone will be saying, you lost to the and title shitter. Have a nice day. 4 life!"