There's a time in every man's life when he's gotta look himself in the face, and admit that maybe, just maybe, his wonder years are behind him. And yeah, that may be me right now. I ain't afraid to admit that, nah, not afraid at all because look at me. Twenty-four fucking years old, and I'm the wash-up. You got guys who are older than me struggling, fighting tooth and nail to get a taste of the good shit. That success that I've taken for granted for a good year and a half at this point, and they're the rookies. The yet-to-be's and in most cases the never-will-be's, and they're older than me. In more blunt terms; I've accomplished more than these fucking hacks in less time on this planet. X-Treme Champion to Briefcase Holder to European Champion, and all of that was accomplished without breaking a sweat. And today we got guys like Austin Fernando pissing away every opportunity that falls in his lap. But, we'll get to him later.
Even if you're in the camp that dismisses all of that as some kind of ancient history, "it happened before I showed up here so it doesn't matter" bullshit because you have no actual accomplishments of your own, you can't deny what I've done in my few, brief appearances. Because, no matter how far past my prime I get, I can spin some bullshit so fast it makes people's heads spin. I show up, don some stereotypical garb, and suddenly I make an entire ethnicity my bitch. Then for good measure I challenge one of those aforementioned never-will-be's and in a few short moments I validate myself as "Champion of Brown People," eh? It's, actually kind of funny how many people buy into your bullshit when you preach with some fucking conviction. Then again, I would expect that to be a surprise to most of these rats, considering they can't even tell the truth about themselves with half as much confidence as I can making up pure bullshit.
Considering these people actually think Frodo Smackins is clever, I don't know why anyone would be surprised that they can't think of the words to be convincing in the slightest. Come the fuck on guys, Frodo? Having any sort of talent? Seriously?! I mean I like the guy but come on, we can stop feeding his ego just because he's a fucking . Affirmative Action just means they had to hire him, not that we have to look up to him as some kind of hero of Down Syndrome babies. Dude's one outburst away from an aneurysm and motherfuckers are lapping up his cum like it's the cure for cancer or some shit. Fucking pathetic, the whole lot of ya.
At least he ain't Mastermind though. Seriously, what the fuck to say about that guy? What, he's fucking , probably more so than Frodo and that he doesn't know what he's talking about a hundred percent of the time? That his tongue's become self aware of the mediocrity it's helping to produce and has tried on multiple occasions to off the poor bastard in his sleep to do mankind a solid? Thank you, Tongue of Mastermind for trying to fight the good fight. Heh, Tongue of Mastermind. Maybe that'll be the newest addition to the XWF.
Mastermind's Freedom Fighting Tongue would provide stiffer fuckin' competition than Woe, that's for fuckin' sure.
We got Caroline-Name-Longer-Than-Her-Career-Will-Be making lists like this was a couple months ago when those fucking things launched ??? to relevance and like she had the fuckin' ability to make that kinda thought process work.
Loverboy pullin' the same bullshit he always does. Hey man, heads up. If what I did was some ancient history bullshit because you weren't around for it, why should widdle Austin Fernando give a shit about the guys you beat for a title you lost long fucking before anyone even heard of the shithead? Sheesh, consistency motherfucker!
And then Austin Fernando being the little engine that could as if those type of success stories happen in real life. Newsflash kid, you might be the smartest guy in this match for closing your goddamn mouth when it came to me but that don't mean shit when you go at motherfuckers, talking about how you're the future when you can't keep it together long enough to win a contender's match. Which, this shit is. Basically, when it comes to odds and probability and shit, you're fucked and those things are never wrong. Never man. Believe that.
Oh right, Maverick. Hahahahaha he still exists. Maybe if we get really lucky he'll off himself and everyone can quit talking about him like that dead horse hasn't been beaten enough. Shit, at least when Gilmour gets shit on, pun totally fucking intended, it's funny. This Maverick bullshit is just depressing. And it's killing my high. That's a serious suggestion Mav. Fucking kill yourself. Please.
Are there others in this match?
Could I talk about everyone a little bit more?
Yes to both but fuck that. We're going to talk about me a little bit more.
We're going back to my existential crisis.
If I've lost it, and I know I've lost it, why the hell do I keep coming on back? Right? That's the question that's been on my mind as of late, as I start to come to grips with the decline. Is it an addiction, like the coke? Nah, it can't be because it's a chore. It's fucking drudgery bringing myself back here every time to the point where I feel like I gotta commend my friends, your trios champions The Kings, for sticking around. Sure, it ain't like they gotta put in much effort to beat the sheep they lead to the slaughter.
Hell, it ain't like I can even call some of these motherfuckers sheep. More like cows and that ain't even a fat joke (okay it still is when I aim that shit at Gilly, come on), but a fucking observation. These guys ain't hungry. Hell, they've gorged themselves on bullshit and been patting themselves on the back for trying hard instead of focusing on getting them wins so much that it's sickening.
That's why they fucking blow it so hard. They got no desire to win. Just to go out there and take people to the limits. Newsflash motherfuckers, that's why the Kings ain't getting dethroned. They're fucking in it to win it harder than you're in it just to do good.
Hungriest guy I see hanging about? Austin Fernando and I can respect that shit. I can respect that fucking fire and that drive. Sure, will I fucking stomp him if I gotta? Hell the fuck yeah but that's the name of the game.
Heh, I think I got it.
I want to get my ass kicked. Not in the way these guys claim no, I don't want to beat a motherfucker and have them come at me like they took me to the limit. No, I want to go into a match with one of these yet-to-be's, and I want to get my ass handed to me. I want to be pinned, made to tap out, knocked unconscious. Something decisive, none of this pinning a partner, throwing someone over the top rope bullshit.
And considering that during my off and on returns, I haven't been pinned; that shit ain't happened yet, no matter how many times Vinnie wants to claim he's kicked my ass.
. Affirmative Action just means they had to hire him, not that we have to look up to him as some kind of hero of Down Syndrome babies. Dude's one outburst away from an aneurysm and motherfuckers are lapping up his cum like it's the cure for cancer or some shit. Fucking pathetic, the whole lot of ya.![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/9rAMt7eTzYnxS/giphy.gif)
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