Frodo walks into the backyard where Crack, Swagmire, and Jorge are standing there. Holding guns. It's freezing cold, and Frodo is wearing only a blue leather speedo, and black Chuck Taylors. He looks at them, and Swagmire fires a round into Frodo's stomach. It's a paintball, and it splatters right on his belly. He doubles over, and starts to wheeze. A roaring laughter erupts from Swagmire.
”Bitch. You froze that shit.”
”Nigga. It's cold. Come on, get ready. You gotta run this obstacle course. Don't make me shoot you in the ass.”
Sarah walks out in the backyard holding an AK47 looking Paintball gun. She sends a ball into Swaggy's knee. He laughs and kicks his knee. It makes a thud.
"I came prepared."
"Well, then. Let's get this started. Run the obstacle course, baby."
Frodo takes off and begins to climb a tower constructed very poorly in the backyard. As he climbs the four fire balls of paint in his direction. He screams in agony. Sarah yells encouraging words about baths and massages. Cracks calls out and tells him there's Spaghetti and Coke for him in the house when he's done. Jorge fires a round that hits Frodo in the back of the knee. He makes it to the tower none the less where a masked man is waiting to fight him. They lock up and begin to exchange blows. The masked man gets Frodo stumbling back, and he slips from the tower. Luckily, he manages to catch himself before he falls to the ground, and climbs back to the top. The man is excited, and begins to kick Frodo in the chest, pushing him back towards the edge. A stray paintball from Sarah hits the masked man in the masked face, causing him to lose balance. Frodo throws a Shayouken that sends the dude to the ground on his back. He notices a zipline and rides it all the way to the other end where he meets a group of people dressed like ninjas. They have wooden swords, and staves, poor Frodo only has his fists. Dodge. Duck. Dive. Out the mother fucking way. Until he spots it! His precious Buttersock! It's dangling on a pole not far from him. He makes his way to it. CHOP!
Sword to the back sends the Hobbit to the mat. The group of ninjas begin to gang up on him and stomp him or jab their instruments down upon his spine. The Hobbit screams in pain as he crawls for the sock. One of the “ninjas” kicks him in the face and begins to take An Madison right on the Hobbit. The log barely misses the Hobbit's head. More is coming, but Frodo rolls out of the way and throws a first to the man's sack, sending him back into the crowd. Up pops the Hob, and a spinning heel kick pushes the Shitty Ninja off the edge, spewing shit as he goes. Crack walks over and shoots the ninja in the balls for his poor decisions.
Back on the platform, Frodo has the sock and is swinging wildly in the crowd, trying to topple them. One goes to the ground below, and Frodo grabs his sword. He begins to battle the remaining "ninjas". Sarah and Crack release a volley of rounds into the crowd, and send the remaining ninjas to the ground. Frodo sees a path and begins to rush towards it, until. NO! A 6'9" 350 beast of man, who looks like a black Sebastian Duke, walks towards Frodo carrying something. He sets it down on the ground in front of the Hob. It's a...
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Mother fucking boombox. The man cracks his knuckles and looks at Frodo. He cocks his head to the left, and then to the right.
The music blasts. He starts dancing, like this dude is hardcore breakdancing at the hobbit. A head spin. Oshap. He pop and locks his right in the Hobbit's face before placing a hat on the hob's head. He rips it off and throws it on the platform ground. Out of nowhere Katie appears next to Crack and Sarah. Swagmire and Jorge are busy firing rounds at the beast, and fail to notice her. She pulls a megaphone from seemingly thin air and hollers up to Frodo.
"Dad! You got served! You best serve that bitch back. Ya'hurr!"
"Katie, stop watching BET. No one gets served anymore. This isn't 2005. Seriously."
"No, honey. She's right. You got served. You need to respond in kind. Or you'll be known as his bitch."
Frodo eyeballs the man.
"You sure I gotta? Because, like. I don't really want to make him hit me."
"Nigga. You gotta respond. Don't be a pussy."
Frodo gives his best moves, and does the worm horribly. He fails to make an impression on the giant. Who brushes Frodo off and turns to walk away. Big mistake, as Frodo kicks the beast's knee out. He goes down, exposing his ass to the Hobbit, who decides to fight back the only way he knows how. He bites a hole in the Beast's pants. Yes, kids at home, he bites a hole. With the hole there he rips the hole bigger, and rips another hole in the man's underpants. A spit. And a thrust. Oh my god, Frodo is raping this beast. Frodo pumps and pumps. The beast begins to cry openly as he's getting raped.
"Bitch. You got served."
A paintball from Sarah comes flying and hits the Hobbit in the face. He freaks out and pulls out of the beast. After getting to his feet he feels another ball hit him in the sack. He collapses into a heap. The Beast begins to crawl away. He's sobbing. Apparently he didn't like the idea of being Frodo's bitch.
"NO FUCKING RAPING! WHAT THE HELL, DUDE?!"
Frodo manages to get a weak apology out in between bursts of crying. They let him cry and try and get his breath for a while, while Katie eats some Spaghetti and Crack smokes a bowl. He has a Medicinal Marijuana card, folks. It's legal in Michigan. And even if it's not, who the fuck will say shit, brah? After Frodo gets to his feet, he weakly walks his way over to the finish line. Where at the end is a flag. He grabs the flag and collapses. Jorge fires one final round at Frodo. A metal BB punctures the skin, and a warm trickle of blood meets the cold frozen air. He groans and rolls over.
"Goddamn, Jorge. I told you. Paintballs, not BBs. Why the fuck did you swap to BBs?"
"Two years ago, Meester Frodo. He come to my home, and fuck my mother. Eh. And my Sister. Eh. And my father. Eh. At the same time."[/ran]
'Oh! I remember that night. Nah, dog. He just had a threesome with your parents. I fucked your sister. Bitch loves dick in her ass."
[red]"She got pregnant, eh. And then aborted the child. Abortion is wrong. I had to pay him back. Eh."
"Wait. Weren't you Hispanic like five minutes ago?"
"Esse, I am a Mexican Canadian. I have too many stereotypes to uphold. Eh. Anyway, I'm out, eh. I got to go to my cousin's birthday party. See ya, Swag."
"Nah, I'm rolling with you. This shit got boring."
Frodo weakly gets to his knees and walks inside the house. Sarah drops the gun and quickly follows him. She assists him to the tub, and helps him in, before washing his dick. When the offending piece is properly cleaned, she stands up, and lifts her Maxi Dress, revealing a lack of panties. She then slides on his rod of Hobbitdom, and begins to ride it. She's rocking back and forth, and rubbing his chest. He's writhing in pain, which causes him to move more, which sends her deeper into ecstasy. She cums all over his chest, and some hits the wound where Jorge's BB hit the skin. Ever get cum in a cut? It doesn't feel good, man. Not at all. The Hobbot recoils, and climaxes at the same time. What an odd sensation. Sarah continues to sit there until he's finished, before getting off and wrapping herself in a towel. She sits on the floor and rubs Frodo's shoulders.
"So, baby. You concerned about this mystery match?"
"Fuck no. More concerned with Paul's return. I wonder if he'll finally admit I'm his number one, A-Team most reliable member. King of the Dwarves and all that. God, babe. You actually hurt me that round."
"Sorry, but it's what you get for raping that dude. Only ass your cock goes inside is mine."
"You know it was only meant as a dominance thing. Not a sexual thing."
They kissed. Frodo loves Sarah.
![[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ZXX7HJw.png?1)
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