Tuesday - Malibu


“Alright kid, you chill for a second and let me go in first, okay? I’ll explain it all to Rox, you just be cool.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever. What games do you have?”

“Uh, like, Grand Theft Auto V, Far Cry 3, XWF 2K15…”

“Can you play as Frodo?”

“Yeah, if you want to lose.”

Loverboy pops his key into the posh apartment door and turns it, then swings the door inward. Immediately in front of him, bent over the back of the couch with her skirt raised around her hips and her purple thong pulled up into the crack of her ass is Roxy Cotton. She wiggles her tan ass at Loverboy and lifts one stiletto-heeled foot up from the shag carpet as she looks back over her shoulder and smiles at her lover.

“Baby! I’m so happy you’re home!”

“Roxy! What the…”

“Well, babe, when you texted me and said you were almost here and had a surprise, I decided to give you a surprise too! Why don’t you come over here and give this wet pussy what it’s been waiting for all day?”

“Hi, I’m Bobby.”

Loverboy had been so transfixed on the pendulating backside of his gorgeous fiancée that he hadn’t noticed the young boy squeeze his way past him and into the living room. Now, as the blonde bombshell quickly spins around on her spiked heels and tries desperately to cover her nethers with her entirely too-short skirt, she turns bright red in the face and screams at Loverboy.

“What the FUCK, Vinnie?!?!”

“What? Jesus, like I knew you’d be in here ass over teakettle waiting for me with an oiled-up ass!”

Loverboy, seeing Bobby’s wide eyes, quickly covers them with both of his hands while the boy smiles. Roxy storms into the other room.

“Kid, you didn’t see anything.”

“Hell yeah I did!”

“No. You didn’t.”

“I’m pretty sure it winked at me!”

“NO. You didn’t. See. Anything. Got it?”

“Fine. Jesus.”

Loverboy frowns and then runs off into the bedroom to find Roxy, who’s tossing clothes out of a dresser and trying to decide on something less revealing to put on.

“Roxy… look, I’m sorry.”

“Why is there a kid here Vinnie? What, is he some fan you feel the need to show off for? Were you trying to give him his first boner by showing him your hot girlfriend? Are you an idiot?”

“Probably, yeah. But no, Roxy, it’s not just some fan.”

“Then who is it? I haven’t seen you in days, you left me in Boston in fucking January while you went to Florida without me, a girl with a body that is BEGGING for surf and sand, and then I have to watch Madness alone, just to see if you’re okay… and now you show up here with some little KID?”

“Roxy, he’s MY kid.”

Roxy is stunned. She drops the leopard-print minidress she had been holding against herself while looking into the floor-length mirror, and falls into a sitting position on the bed wearing just her brand, panties, and heels.

“Excuse me? You have a KID?”

“Yeah, apparently. Bobby. I didn’t know either, honestly. I first heard about it when we were at my mom’s…”

“Vinnie! That was a month ago! You didn’t say anything to me?”

“I didn’t think it was true! It’s crazy, Roxy, I thought it was a prank, or someone trying to mess up our relationship!”

“So who was it then? Some stripper down in Tampa?”

Loverboy looks away, searching for the words to explain how his ex-girlfriend from so long ago had apparently come back from the dead.

“No… Roxy… it’s Nikki.”

The air leaves Roxy’s lungs in a rush. She lurches forward like she’s about to puke, bracing her hands against her bronze thighs tight enough to leave pale finger lines across the skin when she finally lets go and looks up at Loverboy again.

“Nikki? The addict, Nikki?”

“Yes, but...”

“The one you said died on your couch in 2005, Nikki?”

“Yes, but...”

“The only girl you ever loved, Nikki? The one you said would never fully leave your heart, Nikki?”

“Yes, her, but Roxy…”

“Don’t you ‘but Roxy’ ME, Vinnie. You’ve been talking to your ex for weeks and then went to visit her without telling me? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Dude,”

“I’m not a FUCKING DUDE!”

“Baby… relax… please. Look, I didn’t know. I thought it was all a trick. I didn’t want to say anything to you until I went and saw for myself, and if you had come with me you’d have beaten her ass. I figured I’d show up, tell her off, whoever she was, and get back on a plane the same day and head out to Seattle. When I got there, though… Roxy, it was HER. It was really Nikki!”

“How, Vinnie? How is that possible? Did you just make up all that shit you told me about how she OD’ed in your apartment? Was that all some sob story to get some ass from me?”

“NO! No, Roxy, that’s what happened! I mean, that’s what I saw! She left our place in an ambulance, and I wasn’t allowed to visit her because I wasn’t fucking family. Her mom hated me, she wouldn’t tell me shit except that she was dead. I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral. I was out of my fucking mind with depression, suicidal, I thought she died because of ME, Roxy!”

“And Bobby?”

“Dude… I mean… baby… I had no idea she was pregnant. Maybe she didn’t even know until she was in the hospital. I literally just found out about that in December. But once I got down there and met him, well, Nikki started talking about child support and other stuff, and I thought it would be cool to spend time with him, you know? He’s a cool kid, pretty bright, and he plays guitar!”

“So what?”

“And he thinks you’re really pretty!”

“He does?”

“Yeah! Totally! He was asking about you the whole way here from LAX!”

“Well… that’s pretty sweet. Maybe he’s okay.”

"He’s totally okay! You’re gonna love him! And he can probably do chores and stuff. I should totally go for shared custody or something, you know? The kid deserves to live with some money! Put that sexy ass dress on, baby, let’s go back out there, okay?”

“Okay…”

As Roxy starts to slither into her tight dress, Loverboy smiles wide and turns to the bedroom door, opening it.

Standing there in the hallway, just outside the door, is Bobby.

“Hey… dad? I clogged the toilet.”






Wednesday – Loverboy’s Apartment


“Wait - how did you do that, dude?”

Over the quick-paced clacking of buttons, “Loverboy” Vinnie Lane questions his son as they play XWF 2K15. On the huge 85 inch television screen, a rather good rendering of Loverboy is sent running into the corner, followed by a rushing in, pixelated version of Frodo Smackins.

The graphic of Frodo starts climbing the turnbuckles and humping the face of the dazed cartoon Loverboy.

“Aw, come on, dude, my controller isn’t working right or something! This isn’t fair!”

“Yeah, right. Watch this!”

On the screen, the Xbox version of Frodo hops down from the buckles and jogs to the center of the ring. After entering a sudden combination to the controller buttons, Bobby makes the Frodo image run towards Loverboy and leap upwards, nailing him with a big Shayouken!

Xbox Loverboy falls from the corner and is flat on the mat as Xbox Frodo teabags him and then covers him.

1…



2…



3!!!!


Frodo Smackins wins!

“Damn it, dude. You realize that if real Frodo hears about this he’s going to count it as an actual win against me right? Just like he did with the lame ass Feder battle royal? Did you use a cheat code or something?”

“No way! You just suck at video games!”

“Ugh!”

Walking into the living room from the kitchen area, Roxy Cotton hands Bobby a plate with two steaming Hot Pockets on it. She then turns to Loverboy and hands him one as well.

“Thanks baby! You’re the best!”

Loverboy smiles and slaps Roxy across her ass, making it jiggle rhythmically. Roxy blushes and turns to walk away.

“Yeah, thanks New Mom!”

Bobby swats at Roxy’s ass as well, making it move a little. Loverboy bursts out laughing but tries to cover his mouth so as not to show it as Roxy turns back around, bright red with anger in the face.

“Vinnie. You and me need to talk in the other room.”

“Okay, okay, baby, I’ll be right…”

“NOW.”

Roxy stomps into the bedroom, and shoots an icy glare to Loverboy as she vanishes into the doorway. Loverboy sighs and looks at Bobby.

“Thanks a lot, kiddo. I’ll be right back. Use a different character this time okay? And let’s do best out of three!”

“It’s your funeral, daddy-o!”

Loverboy pops off of the couch and hustles into the bedroom, closing the door behind him and tiptoeing up to the fuming Roxy as she stands with her arms folded and tapping her foot. Loverboy tries to be cute and give her a peck on the cheek, but she backs away quickly and stuffs her palm into his chest.

“Oh hell no. Did you not just see what your son did to me?”

“Yeah… he’s just a kid, Roxy! He was playing!”

“He learned that shit from watching you, Vinnie! You have to set a better example! He’s getting to the age where he is learning how to behave around women, starting to notice them! You can’t teach him to treat us like sluts and whores!”

“What? No way, Roxy! The kid is nine. No way is he thinking about girls. When I was nine all I did was watch Ninja Turtles and play video games… kinda like now.”

“Vinnie. You’re wrong. He took half hour long showers today and yesterday, twice, and you and me both know why young boys do that!”

“He’s got long hair, like me! Like you! He washes it, it takes time!”

“He didn’t use any shampoo!”

“Oh…”

“Yeah Vinnie. And look what I found when I cleaned up the coffee table after he fell asleep last night.”

Roxy opens a dresser drawer and pulls out a stack of papers, unfolding them and handing them over to Loverboy, then waiting while he reads them over.







“That little bastard.”

“YOUR little bastard. You need to have a talk with him about the birds and the bees, Vinnie, soon. Either that or I will, and I’ll tell him way more than he wants to know.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll do it soon… I’m really sorry about this. There’s got to be a way I can make it up to you, baby…”

Loverboy saunters up to Roxy again, and this time she doesn’t stop him from nuzzling his face into the curve between her head and shoulder, smiling as he begins to suck on her supple flesh.

After a moment though, she pulls away.

“Don’t get ahead of yourself, tiger. Bobby is still right in the other room, waiting for you. Maybe when he falls asleep.”

“I’ll be giving him some Nyquil with his supper then!”

“Very funny, mister… but you know, there definitely is something you can do for me to make this all better, Vinnie.”

“Yeah? What is it? That thing with my tongue in your fertile crescent?”

“No…”

“You want me to spank you and call you a bad girl again?”

“No… I mean, yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about…”

“Well, spit it out! Just name it baby, anything you want I’ll do for you!”

Roxy smirks and kisses Loverboy sharply on the lips, then cups his face in her hands and winks at him before heading back toward the door.

“Good! Get some sleep tonight after we watch Warfare… tomorrow you’re taking me shopping!”

Roxy slips out into the living room and Loverboy hangs his head, realizing what he’s gotten himself into.

“All the more motivation to start getting that Uni Title pay grade. Fuck.”

F A D E 2 P I N K