"Bout time Moe, I thought I was going to be fighting two cardboard cutouts this week with how quiet you two have been. Thank christ somebody pulled the string on your back so you could puke some sentences out of your fucking mouth. Ooops, pulled strings. That hit a little close to home didn't it. Ha, you're being fucking blackmailed. Grow a sack man! Go Liam Neeson on that asshole or assholes. That's what I did when Todd got kidnapped in Russia, did I pay a ransom or play along with their game? Fuck no, I went in like a badass and tore shit up. The fuck is stopping you?"

"Oh, right your girlfriend and foster kid. Sam and Alice? Really man? Sam and fucking Alice. Sound like fake names to me, I've got those names in the back of my mind but for the life of me I just can't figure out what book or movie I heard about those two chicks getting kidnapped. Fuck, that's going to be frustrating. Anyway, it's time for my favourite part of the week, well second favourite. First will be kicking your ass, but my second favourite is to go down the list of what you've said and tear that shit apart."

*Gator holds up a sheet of paper and waves it round for a moment*

"Notes! Of your promo, so I can literally go down the list. Okay, what's first? You took down the Trio champs.... Really? Sure you did pal, just keep on thinking that mate. When you actually want to take down someone, you have a sanctioned match and you look them in the eye, you tell them how you're going to destroy them, then you try your hardest to take them down. You don't waltz into the ring after they've already been beaten down and sucker punch them, claiming you got the big win over people that didn't expect it. That's what muggers do. Not fucking fighters like you're supposed to be. That's what I'm doing. I'm not interfering every Asylum match and hitting them over the head and declaring I WIN! It doesn't work like that you fucking pussy!"

"Damn, that was just one sentence. Next on this half assed promo of yours is you saying I'm a white knight. You fucking moron. You know what the white knight does right? Runs in and saves the kingdom from evil. You're basically declaring that The Asylum is evil. Straight up, Disney level evil. You fucking . It's starting to look like The Asylum has one brain that it all shares and Azrael keeps trying to grab the important bits leaving guys like you, Tank, Manson et cetera with the scraps. Think before you speak asshole. Speaking of which, you're a dragon? Fuck that, you're a troll. We've already discussed this, keep up Moe."

"Yeah, I begged you for a handicap match. Don't try and twist shit in your favour here, it's not going to work out well for you. You wanted a singles match, I said fuck no. You accepted and then I accepted the last man standing, elimination stip. Simple. It's all recorded man, very straight forward ask and answer, I wanted a handicap match, you wanted a singles match, I said no, you accepted the handicap match WITH your fucking rules enforced on it. I got what I wanted, you got what you wanted, best of both worlds. Haha you stupid bitch, trying to make up some imaginary scenario where I fucking begged you for a handicap match. I asked. It's different. You on the other hand, Tank was happy just to be in a match but you wanted to drag him down lower than he already is, you wanted to be at your big, strong man's side and he took pity on you and said yes. Because that's what teammates do! I admire that. Shame you didn't show the same respect to Tank. A last man standing, elimination handicap match? That's not just a mouthful, that kind of match is a fucking rare occurrence. Do you really have that little faith in Tank that you wanted this elimination stip added, so when he fucks up and gets knocked out first you don't lose straight away? That's fucking low dude. You should have just asked for a normal handicap and not step in the ring with me, let Tank do all the work, let me pin him and you can walk away, hold your head up high and although you lost, you didn't get pinned, so it's less of a loss for you in that scenario, I guess. But, with this stupid fucking elimination stip, I have to go to all the trouble of knocking you both out and waiting for ten fucking seconds. Why would you want me to draw out this massacre I'm about to unleash on Wednesday? Also, who the fuck begs for a handicap match!? Are you actually ?"

"By the way, love how this is your first match and how you've done nothing but you somehow think you could beat me in a one on one. Me, former Television champion, the man who already beat two of your comrades with fucking ease. This and more. I find it real fucking funny how you're trying to prove how much better you are than me, how you keep trying even though you technically have the advantage here. I just got out of the hospital, there's two of you, with the stips you wanted. Odds are in your favour here man, I'm man enough to admit that. But it'll be all the more sweeter when I beat both of you with a fucked up head and tired body. Oh, and don't think you're going to murder me in the ring, I actually have experience in that area. Don't believe me?"

*The footage quickly cuts to a handheld camera at a house show*

Quote:Both men lock up... oh wait, no they don't because Lux Ferre doesn't even bother to lift his arms...??? WTF??? BAM! Clothesline from Hell takes Lux off his feet! Gator stomps a couple times, then just plucks Lux up from the canvas and straight into a Disaster Drop! OH MY GOD! The impact causes Lux Ferre's head to pop off his body and hit some crippled kid in the front row!

Fans: Holy shit, holy shit!

Gator pins the lifeless body of Lux Ferre, who obviously felt defeated as soon as he saw he was booked against Gator since he chose not to even do anything...1...2...THREE!

*Back to Gator, a smirk under his mask*

"Yeah, that happened. And trust me, I'm fucking hard to kill. You two on the other hand. I don't like your odds, you've got a real scrawny neck Moe. Looks like that big head of yours could just pop off no problem. What's next, what's next... Better Todd? Yeah he's cute. Scarlett too, she's a sweetheart. But you can't go calling my promos boring now, don't be calling the kettle black now you fucking pot. And what the hell man? How can you forget what name I called you? Everybody and their mothers know who Moe Syzslak is, from the Simpsons. What? You don't watch TV or some shit? You better not be one of those recluse vegan hippie types that think they're better than everyone just because they don't own a fucking television. Whatever, it's nice to know I've made an impact on the shit-stain you call a life. You mean fucking nothing to me, just another Asylum bitch who has the poor luck to get in my way. As a matter of fact, if you never joined the Asylum, I would have had zero interaction with you. You could have been another fucking nobody who stuck around for a month and vanished like a stale fart in the wind and I wouldn't have cared in the slightest. But, you have to be part of this dysfunctional assed team, and I have to waste my goddamn time with you."

"Then you end with how you're going to kill me.... I'm shaking in my fucking boots. No seriously, I'm terrified of being killed by a 5 foot something troll looking mother fucker and a robust mongoloid. Why do you think I'm being sarcastic? Okay you got me, I'm not scared in the slightest. Like seriously, I'm really fucking chill right now. Oh, way to go back on your words ."

The ugly cunt called Aaron Underwood Said: You will not be coming out the same man

"You said you were going to kill me, now I'm just won't be the same? When you're going to threaten someone at least be consistent you dense twat! Here's what's going to fucking happen, you're going to try and put up a fight and lose, Tank will try and put up a fight and lose, that is all, the end, fin. You don't have a fucking clue who you are dealing with here. Oh, shit, nice name by the way. The fucking recruiter. Really!? So we got, the cleanser, the martyr, the violator, the prophet, the spaceman I guess and the fucking recruiter! What!? Do you stand outside of Walmart handing out Asylum flyers hoping someone will come along to the clubhouse and join the band of geeks and losers? No girls allowed I'm guessing either, not with the sausage fest you have right now. Fuck, I bet Frodo is having a field day date raping and sodomizing all of your asses. If I were you I'd run a UV light across the place, make sure Frodo didn't cum on your sacred idols or whatever the fuck you pray too. The fucking recruiter, way to make yourself look somehow even less threatening. And here we go again with the wannabe Deadpool shtick. Can somebody please think of something creative? Just this once. I'm actually going to be a stunt double in the Deadpool, yeah it's sweet I know, but did I say I wanted to be him? Do I really act like him? Do I love chimichangas? Not really, they're okay. Am I mercenary for hire? No, I'm a fucking wrestler. You said people confuse you for Seth Rollins. Did I go for that? No, I tried to be creative, think outside of the fucking box. Why can't you do the same? Right, because you're bland and replaceable with any other fuckwit Hysteria picked of the streets."

"Okay, I think I'm done. Just need to wait for that roided up freak to open his dumb mouth. See you around Moe, best of luck getting Sam and Alice back."

*The scene fades to bl-*

"Sorry before I go. Rest in shambles is a stupid fucking line to end on, seriously, just give shit more thought next time. Peace!"

*The scene fades to black*