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The Blue Tango · **11-18-2014, 11:12 PM**

[[[The scene unfolds in an open gym, somehwere in Johanneshov, Stockholm, Sweden. The gym is filled with all sorts of people looking their best, and trying hard, to look even better. Toned, fit, young. The gym, instead of being a place for the weak to become strong, is a place for the strong to become stronger. Except for one.]]]

"Gora det, fitta!! Gora det, fittaaaa!"

[[[Calypso lies on the bench press, struggling to lift the empty bar from his chest. As he struggles...]]]

"I can't understand what.. you're... saaaaaying....."

[[[The large, muscular man slaps himself in the head.]]]

"Do it, pussy! You are weak! You pay me money to train you, but you are weak! Come now! Push! Push, FITTA!"

[[[Calypso lets out a loud, girlish scream and finally pushes the bar out to the extent of his arms reach. He places it on the rack and rises up from the bench.]]]

"Wow. What a rush. Whew!"

[[[The large man walks away from Calypso.]]]

"Thanks, bruh! Man, that guy's an animal. Whew!"

[[[Calypso stands up, grabs a towel, and dries the sweat from his brow.]]]

[[[Calypso looks up at the camera and flexes a bit...]]]

"Awwwe, yeah. I think I'm ready."

[[[He jogs over to the water fountain and bumps into a large, muscular, toned woman.]]]

"Oh! Excusez-moi!"

[[[The large woman grunts at Calypso and walks by. The 'tank' of a woman squats down in front of the fountain and takes a large drink. Calypso looks at the camera.]]]

"Now that! Should be in a meat hook match. Mmhmm. Damn bitch, YOU FINE!"

[[[The woman stops midstream and stands over Calypso.]]]

"What?! That's right!"

[[[Calypso bobs his head back and forth.]]]

"I said. YOU FINE!"

[[[The woman picks Calypso up over her head and stuffs him head first into the gym's sweaty towel hamper! Calypso's legs flail back and forth until the hamper falls over. Everyone around him in the gym ignoring him, Calypso pulls himself from the hamper and stands up.]]]

"I hate not being able to speak Spanish."

[[[He brushes himself off and goes back over to the water fountain and takes a drink. Once he's finished he steps away and finds a corner and begins doing stretches on the ground.]]]

"So. As I'm training to be in the best shape of my life... As I'm preparing myself for my debut in the XWF. As I push myself to the brink of every limit... My first opponent, is crucifying himself? Child puh-lease!"

"I mean, I know this is a meat hook match and all... Which TOTALLY gives me the willies to begin with, but a crucifixion?! Nigga you crazy!"

[[[Calypso turns face down, with he's knees touching the ground, and begins doing push-ups.]]]

"Ghost Tank, who are you? Who the hell are you to think you can tell me who my friends are around here?! I mean... Me and my Party-Bro aren't like... besties are nothing, but damn yo... What makes you think he hates me? I totally fudged two games and I lost a bet. How many times do we have to go through this, bruh? It wasn't rigged. At least , HE didn't rig it. Maybe that talking fucking chair did... but Lover Dude? No way. Why would that dude even think about something like that?"

[[[Calypso turns around and lies on his back and begins doing some leg lifts. A large muscular Swedish man walks by, snorts a large snot out of his nose that lands on Calypso's designer tank top and walks off.]]]

"Awe!! Mah shit?!"

[[[Calypso rises up from the floor and wipes the slimy, grimey snot from his tank top. He scowls at the muscular dude as he struts away laughing at Calypso.]]]

"You see that shit, yo?! That's exactly the shit, that I'm going to stop. You think you're going to walk all over me Ghost Tank? You think saying that you WERE going to be nice is going to make me soft? Oh no, bro. I'm going hard. I'm going SUPER hard! And I'm coming at you harder than I've EVER came at anyone before, dude. This shit is FO-REAL. I'm tired of being walked on, spit on, shat on, and pissed on. This is a new Calypso, bruh. And you're the first one to get a taste of him."

[[[Calypso starts bouncing back and forth.]]]

"Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh.... YEAH!!"

[[[Calypso does a small awkward combo of jabs and uppercuts into the air.]]]

"You know what dude? You want to point out my bad experience the other day at the parlor? Whatevuh, man. That needle was fuckin' huge. Have you seen the size of my nipples? The gauge that guy used was way to fucking big man. And the only reason I passed out, was the blood loss. So, get over it. I wasn't trying to impress you. I wasn't trying to impress anyone! I just thought that the piercings would help me pick up chicks, ya know? And sure, I might've pissed myself a little bit, but it happens right? Like you said, I'm a party-animal!! Well, you didn't actually call me that, but that's what I am! Dudes piss themselves all the time man. Especially when they drink like I do. There's nothing like a nice strong mumosa after a hard fucking day of pounding the bags and pulling some rope, yo! So, don't act all tough cuz you think you've got something on me. You can't tell me you've never had any bad experiences."

"I can name a few acutally. You've been on quite the mean streak lately. It all started at that King of the Ring tournament when you fell in love with Frodo. That dude... well, he's totally weirder than you are. I thought trolls lived under bridges, but that fucker lives in a closet. Trust me, I know. The Violator, you called him? Totally! That fucking guy destroyed my ass with a broken mop handle. All I was doing was asking for directions, yo! He flipped out. He needs some anger management or something. Or maybe someone big and strong like you to put him in his place. But, that didn't happen now did it? Instead, he beat you during the first round of the tournament, which left you love struck by him. You claim that everyone who beats you, you respect... Well, after I win this, will you respect me like you respect him? Just don't fall in love with me though, yo, I got my eyes on my own special lady..."

"I ain't letting that shit cloud my mind though. I may be in love, but that shit can wait. We gotta fight to do right, bruh? I'm still a little weirded out by the whole meat hook thing... But if it was the only way to get you to accept my challenge, then what the heck? You seem to have enough experience doing this sort of thing so if I would get in a bad situation, at least, ya know, nothing bad would happen. Err, wait. That was before I pissed you off, right? That was before I made you sound like a fucking idiot. Now, I have the pleasure of being awake for the whole thing! Well! We'll just see about that! You seen what happened in the tattoo parlor! Just try and keep me awake while you hook me up with those fucking things man. Just. Try it. I don't think you can. The first sight of those pointy things and I'm prolly out. But, hey. We probably won't have to worry about that, cuz once I slap the shit outta your face, you'll go down, and muh nigguh, you ain't gettin' up! You ain't gettin' up fo a lawng time! So, I'm sure you're prepared. You've been stabbing yourself and electrocuting yourself all fucking week. Way to prepare yourself for an ass beating Ghost Butt.

"Speaking of preparing yourself, why you going and crucifying yourself, bruh?! You ain't no Jesus! Fuck man. How long did you hang yourself up there?! You fucking nut job. Look around me.... It's called a fucking gym dude. That's how most of the dudes around here prepare for a fight. And don't tell me that you're not like anyone else here... Even though I'm sure you are... But your totally not one of the high rankers man. I think if you shed a few pounds and got your head in the game and out of the near suicide attempts, you'd do just fine. And here we are, in a meat hook match. Gawd. I'm uh be sick."

"But, anyway, respect me after I beat you or not. I'm not your brother, I'll never be your brother... but maybe we can party sometime if ya like? Since you think I fucking party so much, maybe you could come over to my party at my expensive studio apartment?! What more could you ask for?! We'll have the Stooges, awesome food, and, I'm not sure if you have any kids or not, but that dude Pest said he'd look after him while we 'party-it-down!' Seriously, there'll be a 'make your own sundae bar!' MY idea. Nothing cures the fainted heart like some ice cream dude. Feel free to stop by. You can bring your boyfriend and the rest of the freakshow with you too if ya want. There's lots of room dude. My apartment, is HUGE. Fuckin' HUGE."

"I wish ya the best of luck and I hope we didn't get off on the wrong foot or anything. I was just trying to honor a bet. Whether you think differently about that or not, thanks for accepting. My debut here should be something to remember FOREVER! Because ya know... You may have fought Mastermind. And lost. You may have fought Frodo. And lost. But................ You've never, ever fought anyone... til you've fought......."

[[[Calypso flexes his arms across his chest for a moment, then raises his hands and waves them across his face very... mystically...]]]

"Calypsooooooo.......!!!!"

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode You're no Jesus, Ghost Butt
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