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Monolith · **11-03-2014, 05:04 PM**

THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT HAS BEEN PAID FOR BY RAPAPORT INDUSTRIES

Ladies and Gentlemen, we here at Rapaport Industries would like to make an earnest apology to each and every one of you. You see, things haven't exactly been going to plan for us in recent weeks. First, Monolith regrettably lost his big match against Peter Gilmour and Cain. And then a few weeks later he was abandoned by the majority of his team mates like a sacrificial lamb at the War Games extravaganza. Well, let me take a moment to assure you all that we take these results very seriously. But I, Daniel Rapaport, hereby pledge to you that this is the last time we shall experience such a set back. We are determined to put things right. And we're gonna start the rebuilding process this Wednesday night. Now, my client has a few words he would like to say...

You know, when I decided to dust off my boots and return to the XWF I made my intentions clear. I was focused on reaching the top, I was committed to winning Championship gold, I was determined to make my presence felt. But as Daniel alluded to a moment ago, things haven't run all that smoothly for me lately. Maybe I was over confident. Complacent. Maybe I was too rusty. Maybe I tried to bite off more than I could chew. Maybe I should have attempted to crawl before I tried to run. But whatever the reason, my stock has fallen pretty low right now. Still, even I didn't think I'd come so far down the XWF hierarchy that I'd get lumbered with some mid-card non-entity like Mastermind for an opponent...

Mastermind, you've got to be the most inappropriately named wrestler on the whole roster. I mean, your name implies a certain level of intellect. Of guile. Of cunning. But I've watched your promos, Mastermind. And I've seen you wrestle. And I've come to the conclusion that you're about the most worthless, dumbest piece of shit that I've ever encountered! I particularly enjoyed the part where you claim to be "that damn good". WOW! Give that man an award for originality! I mean, nobody in the history of pro-wrestling has EVER thought to use that expression! But seriously, I would be willing to overlook this blatant act of plagiarism if it wasn't such complete and utter bullshit, Mastermind! I mean, what exactly are you a Master of, huh? Clearly not a Master of the English language. I get more sense out of a Korean instruction manual! And clearly not a Master of the wrestling ring either. You plaster your pathetic win / loss record all over the XWF website like it's something to be proud of! Why, Mastermind? I mean, I could market audio books to the deaf and still be more fucking successful!

Now, you said in your last tiresome rant that you weren't impressed by what you've seen from me in my "short" XWF career. Well, I suggest you study the history books, chump! Hell, I was kicking ass and winning belts in this company back when you were home in New Zealand greasin' up your favourite sheep for a night of intimacy! Sure, I know I haven't set the world alight lately. I hold my hands up and admit that. But there's no shame in losing to top tier talent like Gilmour and Cain. And the only reason I came up short at War Games was because I got sold down the river by my so-called 'Captain'. But even after Theo Pryce abandoned me in favour of the Universal Title, even after Mr. Proxy neglected to even show up for the match I still went down fighting like the true behemoth I am. You were on the losing side at War Games too, Mastermind. But unlike me you were just a fucking passenger. A parasite. Content to leach off the efforts of superior talent. And you still couldn't get the job done. So I'm sure even a moron like you will understand if I don't take your empty threats seriously. I mean, I've taken dumps that have posed a greater threat to my well-being than you, Mastermind!

Do you honestly believe that a puny weakling such as yourself will be able to lock a beast like me in a submission hold? Do you honestly think you can make me tap? Bigger and better men than you have tried, Mastermind. And bigger and better men than you have failed! Because I am the mighty Monolith. AND I WILL CRUSH YOU ALL!!!

THE PRECEDING ANNOUNCEMENT WAS PAID FOR BY RAPAPORT INDUSTRIES

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