Halloween.

Spooky.

Time is about midnight, the destination is Hollywood, California. A fake city filled with fake people, the stench of this fucking city poisons my nostrils and I hate it. I'm used to being in shit stained places but fucking Hollywood is a real piece of shit city, a shitty. I walk down a small alleyway as blue and red lights cascade on the grimy walls. I adjust my mask, trying to tighten it round my face so the smell doesn't make me vomit. It doesn't exactly work as I gag when I get closer to the police crime scene tape. Maybe it's the rotting, bloated corpse in front of me or the speedballs and crack cocaine I ingested last night. I step closer to the tape and duck underneath it and look over the body of a fat slob who no one will miss. The detective beside me looks like he has something to say.

"You have something to say?" I ask turning to the aging detective in his nice brown coat. He hesitates, looks like he has something on his mind.

"I've got something on my mind, Gator." He replies, fucking called it. I don't bother asking what because I know this cunt is going to stalk talking to me anyway so I might as well investigate this corpse. "I think my wife is cheating on me." The detective says, not realizing that there is a fucking dead body here. Fuck him, I let him talk as I look over this beached whale. I turn his head to look what I expect is ketchup, but it was actually blood from a stab wound. With the size of this guy it wouldn't surprise me if his blood type is Ragu. Great. Now I want spaghetti. "She's been going out late at night without telling me, I worry about her you know." The detective still talks thinking I give a shit about his marital problems. "Do you really think I give a shit about your marital problems?" I say, hah showed him.

The detective finally shuts his hole and helps secure the area. I continue to look over this gelatinous blob, reaching my hand into his pockets hoping for identification or loose change, but I only find candy wrappers. Well, Halloween is close could be a clue or it could just be American advertising doing it's job. I stare at this slobs face. His eyes rolled up into the back of his head but I notice something in his mouth. It's a dildo. A big fucking 12 inch dildo, it's sticking all the way out of his mouth, how the hell did I not notice this before? Fuck, I must be more fucked up than usual. I gingerly clasp my finger tips and gently slide the dildo out this poor cunt's mouth, it's like a clown pulling tissues out of his pocket. After too fucking long of pulling I finally get the Mandingo sized pleasure rod out of the mouth. I get to my feet inspecting the dildo and come to the conclusion it's most definitely a big, black dick. I search for a bigger, blacker dick in the alley but I come up short. No pun intended. I turn my head and squint my eyes looking at a small note attached to the base of the dildo, i face the moist note towards me and read the words out loud.

"One of my crown jewels down another father's gullet.... What the fucking bitch ass jisslamming cunting shit donkey raping fish-pussy licking rank cum riddled aids bullshitty shit is fucking this!?!?!?!?" I was quite confused by this to say the least, the cops in the alley stuck awe struck at my amazing knowledge of the English language. The detective from before strolls over "What did you find?" He asks like a dumb cunt, I turn to him, if he could see my face he would know that I think he is a dumb fucking cunt. I smack him with the vital piece of evidence and wave it around as I shout at the detective. "What does it look like I fucking found!? It's a goddamn dildo!!!" I smack him again for good measure, he rubs his now wet, red cheek. I click my fingers and pass the evidence to some fuck from forensics who places it in a clear plastic doggie bag. I barge past the detective and duck under the police tape.

"Woah hold up Gator! Where the hell are you going?" The red faced detective asks, I turn to him but continue to walk backwards through the alleyway like a cool guy. "I've got a lead and a good idea who did this, so I'm going to go fucking murder him you damn stupid queer!" I turn and stomp through the alley until I get to my car where my personal camerawoman is waiting, well I say camerawoman, more of a fat Canadian in a blonde wig. I open the car door and turn the key in the ignition but before I start I open up the glove compartment and take the large bag of cocaine out, rip it open and throw it against my face to wake me up a little. The camerawoman holds tightly onto that little handle above the window, you know the one as I stamp my foot onto the pedal and speed off into the night.






"Sup Mr. WGWF, I know you were the one who killed that fat bitch in the alley and even if it wasn't you I'm still going to fucking murder you for no other reason apart from you piss me off. Some loser who fucks children and has a bigger hard on for Vinnie Lane than the fags that used to go to his cock rock concerts, do you really think you could beat me!? The only thing you could beat is my rock hard dick and your tiny fucking baby hands would have a problem doing that! I don't even know what the fuck is happening anymore or why we're in a fucking match on Halloween instead of trick or treating like a normal fucking adults but I couldn't give a flying fuck anymore, you ruined my Halloween plans so I'm going to rip your dick off and where it on my head! Then I'm going to swallow a hand full of Viagra, get your dick on my head and my very own leviathan nice and hard and I'm going to fuck you up in more ways than seven! So, yeah, fuck you! I can't wait to wipe you off the face of the Earth you shit covered worm!"