"Am I really going to now have to sit down and explain to you exactly why Ariel Knight is a fucking joke? Why Ariel Knight is going to lose to a one eyed midget? Do I really need to spend a week putting this half a pump chump in his place? Listen, man, I've taken on Sebastian Duke, I've taken on Morbid Angel, Azrael Erebus, and Tony Santos. Now, I lost all of those matches, but you know what the difference is? When I fought, I threw up more of a fight than you've ever seen. Mastermind told you I was in a league above anyone you've ever faced when I'm at 50%, and he was not wrong. He just gave you too much credit. I'm in six leagues above you when I'm at 10%. Imagine what I could do to you if I was laying there on the side of the road dying. With my last dying breath I'd still beat your ass. Wanna know why? Because I am not your average, ordinary, run of the mill Cyclopsed Midget. I'm a pissed off, drugged out, Gilmour raping son of a bitch. Tommy Gunn put me down, and he put me down hard, but ask him how easy it was. Promise you he'll say not very. I had the nigga multiple times, and he had me multiple times. But hey, you had maybe a win once, right?
I mean you can't be that much of a complete knob job cock sucking piece of trash, can you? Oh yeah, you beat Mastermind. Good for you, you know, I took his masculinity, right? You beat some femaminized version of one of the lowest bitches here. Someone that Swagmire squashed, after I removed every shred of man left in him. You beat him, and you're proud of that fact. Good job, I'm sure that was a hard win. What'd you have to do to win it, just like show up? And then, the dumbfuck shows up to put you down for being a bitch after you win. But hey, you wanna bring this shit up early on. You being the king of fucking dipshits wanna bring up records like you have some room to bring mine down. Fine, I'll stomp that shit like it's your bitch ass face. You wanna ask me who the love of my life, and queen of my meth empire is. That's Mandii. It's all titles I've given her. Since those all come after her name, and I've professed love for her a lot, most people who aren't fucking seals can figure out I mean her. As for the 'Wench's cat' thing, no you fucksack. I fucked beat Maria Brink in a match, and fucked her so hard she shat all over Steve Sayors. Thus I destroyed that pussy. Yeah, nice way to notice I hide a pin in that list, there's a reason for that knob jockey. It's a ninja pin. When I go to jack that Heavy Metal Title, if I ever do, that ninja pin makes people think they've kicked me off when I'm still reigning supreme. How do you think I've taken the title so much?
Fucking joke. Keep repeating some stupid ass bullshit and maybe you'll get something that sticks. In the meantime I'ma drop Hiroshima on your ass. And no, I don't mean Little Boy, which is the name of the bomb jizzball, I mean I will pick the entire irradiated goddamned city up and drop it on your fucking head. Then, I will piss on your goddamn face. Fucking bow down to the King, cock sucker. Do you have any idea who I actually am? Or are you just going to run your mouth like you got a sack now that I pushed you into this match? Oh, did you wanna talk about that? Cause I got all day, holmes. Let's talk about it, talk about how the one eyed drugged out Midget bullied you into facing him so he could kick your ass literally after destroying you verbally. Wanna come up with some kind of pseudo-Chivalrous bullshit about that? How you backed out because of some kind of fucked up ass backwards honor shit. Makes your dick hard thinking you're some kind of knight in shining armor, huh? Well, Lancelot, I'ma bust that armor open.
I'ma pick you up, yes I will pick you despite the disadvantage I'm at, and power bomb you so hard your armor breaks and impales your rib cage causing your lungs to fill with blood and you to die painfully in the ring. THAT'S RIGHT! I'M GONNA KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER WITH IMAGINARY ARMOR! That's fucking badass. No wonder I'm on the Heyman Alliance and you're on the underside of Shane's toilet seat. And wanna know another reason why I'm better than you are? Because I've had my junk in the mouth of a US Senator. What have you done of note? Oh yeah, get your ass kicked by Harrison and a Tranny. Fucking joke. This match will be over in less than 5 minutes. Don't worry, buddy. The this'll be a good rub for you. My fame will def boost your bitch ass up. Cockstain."
Frodo is sitting back on his sofa flipping through the channels trying to find something to watch. He passed by The A-Team, and Welcome Back Kotter, even passed a marathon of Twilight. Frodo seemed to be rather uninterested in all of these, which Katie and Crack have noticed from a distance. They exchange looks with each other.
"Something's not right. Daddy would never pass up on either one of those, he loves Twilight more than he loves Joseph. He specifically said so before he left."
"Maybe A-Team is too violent? And Twilight might remind him of Sarah. Welcome Back, Kotter is just dull as fuck, though. Hopefully he's outgrown that ish."
Frodo settles on a nice marathon of Blackadder, he relaxes and begins to watch and laugh.
"Oh fuck now. That is just not right. Your dad hates British humor. Seriously, he refused to watch House strictly because it featured an English dude and an Australian. This is just weird. Call your uncle."
She glare at him.
"Why can't you? I'm waiting for Mark to call me. What if he calls me when I'm on the phone with Uncle Swag?"
You'll get a notification, and the option to swap. Plus, I don't have his number. We're not that close."
She sticks her tongue out at him.
"Fine, but if I miss his call because you're too lazy, but if I miss Mark's call I'm gonna kick your ass."
Katie pulls out her phone and calls Swagmire.
"Hey, you needa rush over here now. Something's up with dad."
"Who is this? I don't have this number saved."
"How many girls would call you?"
"Only Katie, my mom, or Gwen. Which one are you?"
"Katie. For fuck's sake, I am Katie, your niece. Your only niece."
"Oh, hey. So, you need me over there? What if I have a girl coming over?"
"Are we telling jokes now?"
"Fine. I'm on my way."
Within a few minutes Swagmire arrived. He rushed inside to find Frodo on the couch watching reruns of The Price is Right while smoking Pot. Nothing seems amiss, so he walked to the kitchen to speak with Katie and Crack.
"You drag me over here for this? There's nothing wrong with him. Except he's smoking pot, and that's illegal."
"Midge don't hit the green. He keeps it to the Crystal or the Snow."
"And he was watching Blackadder earlier. You know how he feels about English Humor."
"Meh, it's all probably stress. There's nothing wrong with him. He lost his wife and eye. Plus, he's been limping lately."
Just then Katie's phone goes off playing "If U C Jordan" by Something Corporate.
"That's Sarah's ringtone. Why is she calling me if she's dead?"
"Answer it! Maybe she's a ghost."
Katie answers.
"A ghost? How high are you?"
"Very."
"Shut up guys."
Sheepishly she speaks into the phone.
"Hell. Hello? Sarah?"
"Oh my god, Katie. It is so hot down here. How's it up there?"
"It's um. Um. Um. Fine? How is everything with you?"
"Fine. My head is killing me, though, and I haven't seen your dad in a while. I miss you guys. When are you coming to visit me?"
"I. I. I. I don't know. How long has it been since you've seen dad?"
"I dunno. Feels like forever. God, my head hurts so bad. I don't even know how I ended up down here."
Katie quickly hung up the phone and dropped it.
"She hasn't seen dad in a while, is really hot down there, and her head hurts."
Crack takes a hit of his pipe. It's Meth, kids. He's smoking Meth.
"Holy shit. She called you from Hell!"
Swagmire looks at Crack, and then slaps the back of his head.
"What in the hell are you smoking? I thought you crackas were supposed to be smart."
"It's Meth. I've decided to get really high today. I'm certain there's something not right with Midge, and instead of dealing with it like an adult I'm getting higher than J.Law's popularity since Fred and I dropped those pics."
Sarah is standing around on a beach looking confused as hell. Frodo walks up holding two ice cream cones.
"Hey, honey. Where'd you get off to?"
"I got ice cream. It's hot, I want ice cream. I told you I went for ice cream. Why do you look so confused?"
"I called Katie. She seemed to be pretty anxious, and hung up on me quickly. I think something's up with her. Did you get me an ice cream?"
He turns so she can't grab his ice cream.
"Fuck no. I asked if you wanted some, and you said no. I'm keeping this to myself."
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The following 1 user Likes Frodo mother fucking Smackins's post:
seals can figure out I mean her. As for the 'Wench's cat' thing, no you fucksack. I fucked beat Maria Brink in a match, and fucked her so hard she shat all over Steve Sayors. Thus I destroyed that pussy. Yeah, nice way to notice I hide a pin in that list, there's a reason for that knob jockey. It's a ninja pin. When I go to jack that Heavy Metal Title, if I ever do, that ninja pin makes people think they've kicked me off when I'm still reigning supreme. How do you think I've taken the title so much?![[Image: ZXX7HJw.png?1]](http://i.imgur.com/ZXX7HJw.png?1)
