Scully is awoken by the sound of his doorbell. He answers the door but no one is there. He notices a brown envelope on the ground near the door. It reads "50 Shades Of Red" and it appears to be written in blood. Scully opens the envelope and finds this picture inside.

I was on my X box one, enjoying a bit of Fifa and some me time after a big workout in the gym. I was really getting into the game, I was winning 2 nil with my team Aston Villa until my doorbell rang. I paused the game, put my controller down and proceeded to walk down my hallway to answer the door. I pull down the latch and open the door to find no one there. I stick my head out, look to the left and then look to right, there was no fucker in sight.
Scully "Hello... Who's there?? ... Bloody kids".
I then notice a brown envelope on the floor, I bend down to pick it up and look around again before closing the door. I look at the envelope and at first with a quick glimpse I thought it said "50 shades of grey", you know that mummy porn book. I look at it properly, it actually says "50 shades of red". Written in what appears to be blood. I opened it and then pull out the folded paper. I unfold to reveal a picture of a scaffold match. On it are two stick men, one falling to their demise. It looks like a 5 year old drew it. I knew who it was straight away... It was obviously Darren "Not So" Dangerous playing silly games. I then open my front door again....
Scully "Very cute, Butterbean.... But your man should be a lot fatter"