((10:00 am, Wednesday morning. The inside of the motel room is a disaster. Bottles, cans, food containers, napkins, clothing, condom wrappers and musical instruments are strewn around in chaotic fashion. On one of the twin beds, a loudly snoring Donny Brooks is wrapped up in the arms and legs of a very naked blonde with more than a few thousand dollars' worth of surgical enhancements. On the floor between the beds lies Alex Braun, the bassist of Casanova, with an equally nude set of Polynesian twins, one on either side of him as if he were the meat in their sandwich.The second bed is empty, however, except for a Fender Stratocaster guitar and a pair of shiny silver wrestling tights. Moving into the bathroom, we see more disaster. A row of mostly empty liquor bottles along the sink, a pile of crumpled women's clothing, and a bathtub overfilled with a mass of humanity. Somehow, as if in a drunken, cosmic game of Twister, "Loverboy" Vinnie Lane has managed to fit himself and three gorgeous naked women into the same bathtub, a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The mass of nude limbs squirm a little as Loverboy's recognizable puff of platnum hair rises from below the lip of the tub.))

Loverboy: Oh... jesus...

((Rising from the tub quickly, Loverboy's lithe, muscular torso leans across to the toilet, where he sticks his head into the bowl and aggressively vomits. Eventually he finishes and flushes, then looks around until he finds a small towel on the floor. Grabbing it, he wraps it around his waist and climbs out of the tub revealing that he is still wearing his lucky silver boots. Loverboy closes the toilet lid and takes a seat on top of it, grabbing one of the half full bottles and taking a sip of the brown liquid inside with a frown.))

Loverboy: God damn. What a night. Is it 10:00 am already, bro?

((The camera moves up and down in a nod, and Loverboy grimaces for a moment before finally grinning from ear to ear.))

Loverboy: Man, what a great time I had last night. You probably think three girls in a bathtub is overkill,or showing off, but to me chicks are like ice cream. My favorite flavor is neapolitan, so I try to get chocolate, vanilla and strawberry in every mouthful, you know? Besides, I had a lot to celebrate, dude! Did you see the way I crushed Bobby Zi last night? He and LH Harrison didn't even lay a finger on me and I won my debut match with TWO MOVES. Even I couldn't believe that, though I knew Zi wasn't going to make me break a sweat. Hell, these three ladies from the Pink Monkey on Clinton Street gave me more of a workout than that tag team match!

((Loverboy reaches over and slaps the one of the bare asses in the tub. There's a squeal from somewhere in the basin, but it's uncertain which girl it comes from.))

Loverboy: I gotta say, that was a perfect way to introduce myself to the XWF fans and roster. I pinned a former champion dead center in the ring, 1, 2, 3! And next week is going to be even better, since I'll be in there with some real competition. Granted, yeah, I'll probably have to carry my team again, just like I did with Socrates last night, but that's just more spotlight for me! I'm might as well schedule next week's victory party right now, you know? Fandango? Seriously? And Shelby Cobra? What a joke. If she's lucky enough, maybe she can get into the tub with me after the match. It's the only way she'll be able to get on top of me. I dunno if I want her hypnotized by my magic wand, though, dude, she seems like the sort of chick that would get clingy. Probably got some serious daddy issues. Hey man, you toss my my phone? It's in that sparkly bra over by the sink.

((The cameraman reaches out and grabs a gaudy stripper bra covered in glitter. Inside one of the massive cups is a crappy old Nokia flip phone. The light is blinking on the top of it. The cameraman tosses the phone to Loverboy, who flips it open and grins wider.))

Loverboy: Bro, I've got so many texts on here it's ridiculous. You get way more nudies sent your way when you're a winner! Oh, check it, I've got a voice mail. Probably Heyman begging me to join his stable, or maybe Sebastian Duke. I don't recognize the number. Let's see...

((Loverboy presses a couple of buttons and then holds the phone out a little so that the speaker phone audio can be picked up on camera.))

Hey Vinnie, just wanted to check basis with you as we’re apparently teaming up next week to take on Cain & Mastermind and Shelby Cobra & Fandango. I know you’re probably celebrating, but we need to get on the same page for this match. Call me back as soon as you get this message so we can think up some sort of strategy for this match.


Loverboy: Well, look at that! I'll hand it to the man, he's humble, and he knows to take his lumps like a man.

((Loverboy dials into the phone and listens for a second.))

Loverboy: He's got Jars of Clay as a ringback tone! Who does that?

((After a second more, a beep comes over the speaker and Loverboy stammers out a quick message.))

Loverboy: LH! Good times last night, dude. Donny told me you came by, man, I wish I'd known I would have totally given you the clear. Mi casa es su casa for the next week, you know what I mean? Plus we had this one chick doing some rad shit with rosary beads that I think you would have been down with. Anywayman, yeah, we totes have to get together and chat about some strategy. It's simple enough, you just stand back and be there to get tagged in when I'm tired. You seemed pretty good at tagging out last night, so, I know you've got that part down. You leave Cobra and Mastermind to me. Just focus on Cain. Call me back, man, let me know a time and a place to meet up with you and we'll hammer out the details. Later, dude!

((Loverboy flips the phone shut with a click and sets it on top of the toilet tank.))

Loverboy: You know, when I first found out about the match next week I was a little nervous. Hell, I was more than nervous, I was straight up worried. I thought I was going to end up either injuring Harrison in our match and ending up going solo against four opponents or take it too easy on him and embarrassing myself in my marquee debut! Luckily for me, though, that Harrison is a smart cat and knew to get out of the ring as quick as he could after I dropped him like a fat crowd surfer. Now, we're both healthy and set to go light it up in there next week. I tell you what, I'm really looking forward to slapping around that washed up bouncer, Mastermind. That dude couldn't carry my bags for me. Cain is definitely the bigger name in that match, but he just got his ass handed to him last night, so I'm pretty sure LH can fend him off well enough to make him a non factor. I mean. I hope so. It really doesn't matter, honestly, because as soon as I get in that ring with Shelby or Fandango, the match is gonna get flipped upside down and dropped on its head just like Bobby Zi was last night. Mastermind, you might want to do a little extra stretching before the bell rings, too. Actually, if you know what's good for you, you just won't ever tag in.

((Loverboy's phone suddenly starts blaring the opening to Dr. Feelgood, and Loverboy dances in his seat a little before grabbing it and flipping it open.))

Loverboy: Talk dirty to me! Oh... hey mom.

((Fade out.))