- Time to make fun of stupid people with small dicks -
.::Featuring::.
Stellar Von Stella as Mr. XWF aka Dr. Validity aka THE PEOPLE'S COCK!
Pretty Princey- Mr. XWF's right hand man!
Get ready, get set, BLOW!
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: So, guys? Do any of you think I should be worried about my match on Sunday?
Pretty Princey: You mean Saturday. The pay per view is Saturday, hun. Here, maybe you need to watch this promo from Mastermind about "time" since you seem to have lost track of it.
The scene is like the aftermath of a wild party. Whoever's bedroom this is has been completely trashed from top to bottom. Blankets on the floor, broken mirrors, the lights danging from the ceiling with exposed wires crackling every few seconds. Beer cans and campaign bottles litter the dresser and of course the bed, which Stellar Von Stella is sitting in, leaning up against the headboard while eating his scrambled eggs. Some random men and women are still sleeping elsewhere on the massively oversized bed and some are laying on the floor snoring. Pretty Princey turns on the television and for some reason is very quickly able to find Mastermind's recent promo about time.
Pretty Princey: Ok, you watch this promo and then yell for me when it's over. I need to leave the room for this.
Pretty Princey rushes out of the bedroom while Stellar Von Stella shovels more scrambled eggs into his mouth and glances up from his plate at the footage Mastermind has been so kind to air.
(06-18-2014, 11:24 PM)MiniMind Promo Said:
Seconds.....
Minutes.....
Quarter Hour....
Half Hour....
Three Quarter Hour....
Hour....
Days...
Weeks...
Months....
Years.....
Decades....
Centuries...
TIME.....
WHAT IS TIME?
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Jesus Cocking Christ! I get it already! ON WITH THE PROMO, SUCKA! How much TIME do you think people have to be watching intros about time?
Stellar just grabs the closest remote control and starts pushing buttons. The stereo comes to life with the sounds of In This Moment and Stellar Von Stella screams!
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: AAAAAAH! FUCK! Turn it off!
He throws the remote as hard as he can at the stereo and miraculously it shuts off!
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Thank god! Now what was I doing again? Oh yeah!
He looks back at the TV and sees Mastermind's promo already well in progress. He slides across the bed, smearing scrambled eggs and other unknown substances into the bedding as he scoots to the edge and reaches forward to turn up the volume by hand.
Mini Mind Said:What is time? And how do we measure time? We all know what time is don't we? Right now you are taking the time to watch me do my promo, and right now I am taking the time to do the promo. What I have just said is now in the past., confined to the past. In three days time is the future. The Pay Per View Leap of Faith. Between the past, the present and the future we are measured in Time.
Drool is slowly making its way down from Stellar Von Stella's bottom lip. It finally reaches the face of the random dude sleeping on the floor and..........nothing happens. Whoever that guy is must either be dead or in a sex coma.
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Am I seriously watching a "PROMO" right now about fuckin' TIZZIME? NIGGA HOW MUCH OF THE DOCTOR'S TIME DO YOU INTEND TO WASTE BEFORE YOU GET TO THE GOOD PART? Where are the drugs? Where's the sex? Where's the Cock and Hole?
Stellar grabs an open bottle of what might be some cheap ass wine or some champagne and he starts to guzzle it in hopes that what he's watching may start to make some sense. He wipes some of the spillage from the side of his face and tosses the empty bottle through the last remaining mirror that had not yet been shattered.
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Alright MiniMind! Lay some of that masterful manipulation of the mind on a nigga! I'm ready!
He continues watching the promo and now he's all into it, sitting at the edge of the bed and looking ready to jump up and cheer at any moment.
Mini Mind Said:Mr XWF, as if you already don't know, you'll be starting the match with the title, as the champion? But here's the question, how much faith have you got within yourself to finish the match champion?
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Holy shizzit! He addressed me directly again! It's like I didn't bury him deep enough when I sat there and cut an entire promo on just his pathetic ass and now he wants to ask me if I think I can finish the match? AS THE CHAMP? WELL BIZZITCH I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING YOU MAY NOT HAVE FIGURED OUT! I ALREADY FINISHED.............YOU, NIGGA! Here's how I see it; I may be the #1 target out there because I'm starting with the championship but where the rest of you are mistaken is that you actually THINK THIS IS A CHAMPIONSHIP! It's not! It's a piece of shizzit that the XWF puts out there just so somebody like me can stumble along and win it in my sleep! I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HOW OR WHY I HAVE THIS THING! Can somebody remind me? And why is it called the Ark title? If I rename it the PEOPLE'S COCK TITLE will I still have Mastermind questioning by ability to maintain an erection throughout and after the match?
Stellar grabs the championship belt and the blanket that was partially covering him falls off, exposing his naked body. He slaps the championship over his lower region to cover his manhood but unfortunately the belt isn't big enough and there's a massive cock seen dangling below the belt. The camera does its best to aim a little higher so only the belt and Stellar's upper body is in the shot.
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: You still want this belt? You want to rip it off me as soon as you see me up close and personal, don't ya? YOU WANT TO YANK, PULL, TWIST AND TUG ON THIS STRAP I GOT ON! AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT ONLY HAVING 20 MINUTES TO DO IT!
He turns back to the promo of Mastermind that is still playing very loudly on the television.
Mini Mind Said:who do I think would be stiffest competition to stop me from pinching the title after 20 Minutes is up? It would have to be the beautiful Miss Callaway. She's the experienced one after Mr XWF, her looks could be the difference. One look at her and she'll probably catch us out with trickery that we won't see coming.
Having grabbed another bottle to start chugging out of, Stellar did not expect those lines from Mastermind and he actually drops the bottle and presses both hands over his mouth to try and stop himself from spitting everywhere as he laughs his ass off.
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Did you..........did you...........HAHAHAHAHA! DID YOU JUST CALL CALLAWAY THE STIFFEST? Well bizzitch, I GOTS TO AGREE WITH YA THERE! That bizzitch is coming straight off of a HOT LOSS to yours truly! I pinned her stank ass and survived to tell the story of the stench! OF COURSE she's going to be coming into this match stiff as a fuckin board! Her cock is still hard from having Dr. X-tremity all up on her for the 1...2...3!
Foam is spilling down his chest as he takes another swig out of yet another bottle of bubbly.
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Oh god! That shit's good! Anyway MINI Mind, what concerns me the most out of what you've just stated is that you consider that male prostitute to be attractive! YES YOU DO! In the very same thought you recognized that Callaway is going to be the most erect in the match, which I take as an insult to me personally but fuck it.....and then you go on to say that she's beautiful! AND THAT HER LOOKS MIGHT BE THE DIFFERENCE MAKER FOR YOU!
HOLY SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
NO! NO, MAN! JUST FUCKIN NO!
Alright alright I get it! There are some full fledged homosexuals in this federation and there are also some trannies and other freaks. I might go around talking about how big my cock is all the time BUT AT LEAST I AM NOT CALLING DUDES LIKE CALLAWAY BEAUTIFUL AND CLAIMING I'M GOING TO BE PUT UNDER A SPELL BY HERSLASHITS GOOD LOOKS! BAH! FUCK THAT SHIZZIT!
MiniMind, were you even watching when I announced Callaway's new name to the world? Say it with me............ I'll go reeeeeeeeeeaaaaaal slllooooowwwwwwww for you here.............
It goes a lil something like this.........................
HER
SLASH
ITS!
Can you say that with me, MiniMind? Her.....Slash....Its! Her Slash Its! HerSlashIts! Herslashits! Yes, YES! You've got it! And as I explained in my previous appearance, the reason we call Callaway that is because WE JUST DO NOT KNOW if we're dealing with a HER or with an IT! So we go and put a big fuckin SLASH in the middle of those two terms to clarify our uncertainty to a nigga who might not know better!
YET HERE I AM, ALREADY HAVING CLARIFIED THAT SHIT, AND THEN YOU COME ALONG AND CALL CALLAWAY BEAUTIFUL! After the fact that I've already made it clear nobody can even tell if Callaway is a female or an IT. Damn, boy, at this rate Callaway would be LUCKY TO BE CALLED A MAN! At least a man is a step above being an its!
And what you talkin about nigga when you say Callaway might spring some kinda unexpected bullshit on us? HUH???????? WHAAAA? You mean like..............wait until the very last day of promos going up for the show and then finally air some cheap piece of garbage AFTER THE CUT OFF TIME? Is that how she's gonna shock us and take us by surprise? Yeah SOME TRICKERY that we won't see coming! Good eye, idiot! You nailed it!
That sort of shit impresses you, MiniCock? How could you even think Callaway has more of a chance than somebody like JJ Zilla, Soupcan, or even that Hawkins nerd? I bet you think Callaway is hotter than all of them too, don't ya? You'd prolly suck Callaway's dick LONG BEFORE YOU'D EVEN ENTERTAIN THE THOUGHT OF GOING DOWN ON THAT NICE HOMELESS CHAP WITH THE BIG OL' BEARD! You got some fucked up taste, BRUDDAH! But to each their own I guess!
Stellar realizes he's been talking over Mastermind's promo for some time now and he turns back to see what is being said.
Mini Mind Said:I have to be the one to take the leap of faith, I have to be one to bring the timing, because no one else will. No one believes in themselves. I will take it, and it will be mine.
A stream of urine hits the screen and starts to dribble down Mastermind's image.
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Yeah you'll take it alright! YOU'LL TAKE ANYTHING THIS COCK SPRAYS YOUR WAY! You say nobody believes in themselves? Oh except you right? You believe in yourself? BUT YOU ALSO BELIEVE CALLAWAY IS HOT! YOU BELIEVE "HERSLASHITS" STANDS A CHANCE AT UPSETTING ALL OF US! What a fuckin idiot! I'll give ya this much, at least you're right about your and Callaway's chances being about equal IF THAT'S EVEN WHAT YOU'RE GETTING AT! But the fact of the matter is this, AND THE BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK MEANS THIS............ YOU SIMPLY CANNOT HANG WITH THIS LEVEL OF SKILL! YOU AND CALLAWAY BOTH! I COULD GIVE BOTH OF YOU SOME SPECIAL CLIMBING GLOVES WITH EXTRA GRIP AND I COULD EVEN SHINE A SPOTLIGHT UP AT THE MOUNTAIN THAT THE PEOPLE'S COCK RESIDES ON TOP OF, AND GUESS WHAT? You'd STILL die of starvation while trying to climb your way alllllll the way up to my cock! I could dip that long ass thing down and try to let you climb it like I was sending my golden locks down the side of a castle for you to climb AND YOU WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO REACH THE TIP OF MY COCK IN THE FIRST PLACE! That's how fuckin LOW you and Callaway both are starting from!
Nigga you lost to WAYLON! WAYLON! One of the worst wrestlers I've ever seen set foot in the ring, but that nigga would DESTROY CALLAWAY! Yet you think Callaway and yourself both stand a good shot in a match that has Dr. Validity penciled in as the defending champ?
Nigga I didn't even want this match! I made it VERY CLEAR TO THE CUM SUCKERS WHO BOOK THIS SHIT THAT I AM CLAIMING MY TAG TEAM TITLE SHOT AND WHAT DO THEY DO? THEY STICK ME IN A MATCH WITH LOSERS LIKE YOU! I'm going to beat the fuck outta you! I'm going to knock your ass down, put you in the Cockel Clutch and make you humble!
You'll be long forgotten and I'll be on my way back up to more important matters, like giving that ol' Rock Bottom to that mutinous asscock by the name of JOHN MADISON! He danced around the subject of he and I finally claiming our tag title shots and now there are rumors that he might end up being Peter Gilmour's partner at this very show? NIGGA I'MA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, JOHN MADISON, IF YOU SHOW UP AS GILMOUR'S PARTNER.......... WE. HAVE. A. FUCKING. PROBLEM. I will march down to that ring and clear it out just so I can Backflip Rock Bottom your ass right back into the shit filled grave where you beloooooong, baby! BELIE' DAT! BELIE' IT!
Pretty Princey walks back into the room.
Pretty Princey: I could tell by all the yelling that you must have finished with the promo.
Stellar (Mr. XWF) Von Stella: Oh you mean MiniMind's promo? Yeah I was done with that before you even turned it on, bro. That guy trying to use logic and arguments in his favor is like seeing a blind man try to put a condom on for the first time in his life. Pretty sure he dropped the condom and is trying to stuff his johnson into the wrapper right about now!
Pretty Princey: Ewwww, that's nasty.
The camera just stops right there without warning.
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