Billy once again picks up his phone to call XWF Management, this time it's Ozymandias; the man who hides behind a curtain, he who would not be found. Again, voicemail. Do these people answer their phones? And now the mosalman crowd is in arms because He referenced Tigris as you people, and let's not get started on the fit the LGBTQ community is having on behalf of AIDs speaking ill of Giovanni. Is he gay? Irrelevant, they claim him. He did have Morbid Angel hold his pocket, and slept with Ally Callaway.

Hello, Ozymandias. I won't call you Ozzy, that's an insult, connect you with such a low rent musician. How this crowd could mistreat you is behind my nearing infinite understand of human behaviour. It's not like you're Paul Heyman, who makes such dreadful choices that both Adolf, and Mr. Idenhaus are salvating like Pavlov's curs at the chance to give him a shower. Nor are you Archie Lawson; a man as I've come to understand it has a terrible dislike of me, odd I thought we were friends. These two are but mere fools compared to the great and wise Ozymandias, true King of Kings. Wiser than Soloman, more Noble than Arthur, better at hiding than Waldo. You're wondering why I've called you, are you not.

I, Billy Zane AIDs, wish to be an Ozymandias guy. I'd like if you would manage me, and perhaps we can crush The Paul Heyman Alliance. Look at how Paul tries to pull his team from matches, under the guise of it not benefitting them. Look at how he betrays his people, and sniffs after Jon Plex as if Plex were a drunk trollop at a bar. Heyman is a disgusting, in every sense of the word, jew rat. He makes the entire religion, and those that spawned from it seem repulsive. I say to you now, Ozymandias, there is nothing of note about Paul Heyman or his team. We shall break them down together, unless you've chosen to stop listening to me prattle.


Kendall Sawyer, after she takes her first real loss at your Main Event, to someone not special, then she will be shown as the charlatan she is. There is nothing special about her abilities, nor her victories. She has not beaten a single person without assistance. The toughest opponent she beat was Frodo Smackins, a man who somehow has alluded doing battle with me in his immune system. Oh wait, she didn't beat Frodo, and it was his first match after returning from the dead. And she still failed to beat a man who just walked out of a hospital, esssentially. Congrats, Sawyer. Now, put the sass and thesaurus down. You won't impress us with how many synonyms for loss you know. Maybe if Miss Sawyer, Miss Diaz, and Miss Pendershore get together they can do a rather whinier version of the Vagina Monologues. One that I'm sure no one will see. Perhaps they should take a cue from Mandii Rider, drop the horrible cunt routine and just dominate in the ring. Can Mandii be an Ozymandias Girl?

Tommy Gunn, I like Tommy. He seems personable, and he acknowledged his inferiority to my skills. The problem with Tommy, he doesn't have answers, and is a yesman. Not normally a bad thing if you're an egomaniacal buffoon, like Mr. Heyman. Tommy has honour, despite his overly gruff demeanor, hence why, like a fool, he sacrificed himself in the rumble for the previously described prat. Gunn could have easily gone on and won the rumble with ease, but like the gentleman he hides beneath his hardened killer exterior, he let the lady win. This situation is precisely why Tommy is a bad choice for Paul, he'd rather let someone else get the reward as he does the lifting. A noble act, but one that will not win you any gold save the Trios titles, and look how quickly those can be lost. Jessie-Ica allowed Egyptian Snow Pharoah to do the heavy lifting for her while Jessie-ica took the gold. First defence without the recently departed Pharoah, they're lost. Just like The Paul Heyman Alliance without Gunn. He's valuable to the team, but because of his quickness to let others take his fame he'll be cast aside. Especially after Idenhaus turns his back on Gunn to allow Gunn to be destroyed by Minx and Griffin. We should recruit Griffin as well.

Speaking of the Trios, shall we mention Brock Lesnar? He is an able combatant, no one can deny this. Unless you hit enough gut shots. Or ask him for repeat performances here. He isn't consistent, he's good in very small spurts. Like a dick ejaculating, he can only do so much before he must rest. But like and old dick, it takes him longer to get up again. Paul would have been wiser to call on someone like Dr. Zero, sure he's around as much as Lesnar, but he is fun to look at. Do you think this team Heyman has formed stands a chance against Team Ozymandias? I don't. We could even get NeoNero out here and we'd still win. Oh yes, he's still having his knickers in a knot and hiding over something. He's still more reliable than Brock Lesnar. I just think he was a terrible choice, sorry Paul.


Finally we have Vellore Brommen, the quiet one. The one I will crush. The one who did not sacrifice himself and was eliminated quicker than Swagmire Swaggins from a white girl party. Hell, I'll bet that Uncle Tom piece of dog faeces could beat Vellore and he is only capable of beating women and Cheat Lucena. That boy lost to Radio, Radio of all people. Vellore was another bad choice, but mostly he seems like the worst choice. I'm going to destroy him in the ring tonight, and do you know why? Because I am an unstoppable killing machine. Look at Ezekiel, he was on Anti-Virals to stop me and I still beat him like his name was Annie Kunta Kinte Brown and this was 1862 Alabama. Look at Devin Black, that little pussy shit himself in fear of me. Literally shit himself. Why do people think they can take me, Ozymandias? Do I seem weak because of Billy's Body? Should I abandon him and find someone else?

If I took the body of Emile Clark, you know the cute little dyed blonde who plays Khalessi, would I be taken more seriously, or just find socks filled with jism left at my door step? Maybe The Mountain? He is a big fucker, but would they take me seriously? Eddard Stark? He certainly isn't using it? Rob Stark? No, he needs his. He's going to win this war and be the true king. Nothing will hurt him. Rob forever! Maybe Ke$ha? She definitely fits the look of a diseased prostitute. Call Jack the Ripper on her. I'm going to watch Season 2, enjoy the rest of your day, Ozymandias. Call me back, please.

Billy hangs up and begins to cook some wonderful looking Eggs Benedict before watching Season 2 of Game of Thrones. When it ends he irately throws his remote through his tv.

Fuck this show.