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Dusty Wyatt · (04-22-2014)

The scene is set, Dusty Wyatt is walking through the woods in Lafayette, seemingly talking to himself. This Wednesday the leader of wolves in sheeps clothing isn't scheduled to participate in the Battle Royale, but it seems more and more likely he will be entering himself. Coming off a strong showing against the woefully awful Gladiator, will Dusty Wyatt be able to cement his place in XWF? Will the spirit of his sister help him in his quest? Who the fuck knows.

•Dusty Wyatt•
What am i? Who am I? These are the questions you find yourselves asking everyday, you people can't even begin to fathom what I am, or even who I am, but i'll let you in on a little secret boys and girls...you see it was my cousins who made me the monster I am today...monster, Martian, whatever you want to call me. you see my cousins were raving maniacs, disfigured and deformed mutants that roamed these here woods, praying in the young and weak, stalking the vulnerable, eating away at their flesh once they caught their prize. Eliza Dushku may have escaped them, but for every one that got away, around ten didn't make it.

Mr Wyatt begins to spin around in the rain, the water gathering in his hat starts to build up and drop over the side down his arms as he stretches them out, he looks up to ever darkening sky and begins to howl hysterically like the psychotic freak he is, continuing to speak to himself, like there's an 'actual' XWF camera crew there filming this horse shit.

•Dusty Wyatt•
Now my cousins, they rest in peace, I had to killlll...every last one them maaaannn, you see if I was going to make it in the world of Extreme, I needed loose ends to be tied up. I couldn't have cannibalistic family members running around eating vaginal lips for breakfast, it's not what is best for business, it's not what is best for the Wyatt family name, MY brother Bray, Eric, Luke and I didn't work our asses off for some fuck tards to ruin it...and ruin it they didn't thanks to ME maaannnn, and now...now we find ourselves here today, my brother is conquering those who believe in the virtues of Hustle, Loyalty and Respect, and I...well, I am in the land of Xtreme, proving I have what it takes to be the best, but not only that, I am being the best without even caring that I am the best.

The rain starts to disperse, Dusty, begins to sit and swing on a nearby bench attached by rope to a very large pinewood tree, laughing to himself, shaking his head, farting for no god damn reason what so ever during what is meant to be a fucking serious promo. Hash tag C*NT.

•Dusty Wyatt•
So it seems this Wednesday various so called superstars will try and win some battle royale, a battle royale that I may or may not even enter, who knows what's going to happen when I go down to the woods. Hold that thought...
...Jon Plex, it seems this individual is serious about winning this event, as is the legendary Sebastian, but boys and girls, let's face it, neither Jon or Seb are on my level, they don't understand what I am, they don't grasp what I am capable of, THEY THINK THAT THEY CAN HANG WITH ME, well mom's and dad's, you better tell your kids the truth, and that harsh truth us that they can't stop me, I will punish their favourite heroes, I will show them up for what they really are and I will stop the lies they spew just for your entertainment. You see no one cares about living in 1538 and having 22 babies with a giraffe, no one cares about the year 25983 where you made love to robots and created Robococks for King George Henry of Wales the 912th. You little boys need to stop playing these games, games you can't win, games you will never win. Thus Wednesday, I will stroll down to that ring, and if I choose to I will slide in, and I will throw every last one you ducks out of the ring, when facing me, you will be like a duck out of water. You won't know where to run, or what to do...but I can tell you what to do, you can quite simply...

Follow The Buzzards.

The scene goes completely black...stay tuned for more from the current Ark of Covenant champ.

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