Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Tommy Gunn · **04-19-2014, 10:54 AM**

A family member of mine asked me the other day why I joined the XWF?

Why I didn’t get a quote real job unquote?

My response…have you been paying attention to my life at all?

In school I beat kids up for fun.

I played football where I was literally allowed to destroy people nonstop.

Then I went into the Army, another job where I was legally allowed to end lives.

And now?

Now I am a professional wrestler.

A job that affords me the ability to once again beat the ever living fuck out of everyone that moves.

And the best part about it? I get paid to do it. Handsomely I might add.

So to my jerkoff family member who wants to shit all over the notion of being a professional wrestler, you are welcomed to step into the ring with me and I can beat your balls in like I plan to do to the quote talent unquote of the XWF.

Seriously? Look at some of the people in this fucking place. It’s a disgrace. It reminds me of what the WCW looked like before they got bought out by Vince McMahon.

I can count on my hand how many legit wrestlers there are in this place.

Let’s just look at the current champions.

Hollywood Hulk Hogan.

Are you fucking kidding me? I guess his social security check isn’t enough to cover his alimony payments to that fat fuck ex-wife of his. And so somehow he and the Geriatric Five managed to waltz into the XWF and take it over. Says a lot about the state of things.

Give it time though.

While the Heyman Alliance has no plans of taking the XWF over it is going to change the barometer for what it means to be an XWF Superstar.

Mandii Rider.

A bottle blonde with a set of tits. I could spend so much time ripping this cunt apart but why bother? She’s off living in a fantasy land so she’ll never watch any of this anyway.

Speaking of saving the world, Enigma?

Great fucking name bro. Almost as awesome as that ridiculous mask of yours. Is it possible, is it even possible that what’s underneath that mask is more grotesque than the mask itself?

Wyatt Reynolds.

Actually, I don’t have a whole lot to say about this guy. He’s a racist and he knows it. But is that really such a bad thing? Especially when you have idiots like SwagMire running around making all coloreds look bad.

Elisha.

The guy looks and acts like a fucking

. And I don’t mean that as hyperbole. I mean he literally looks like he’s

. I don’t know if he has undiagnosed downs syndrome or what. The guy lives in cave and eats raw animals. I’m beginning to wonder if his mother and father are actual brother and sister.

And now, that brings me to the XWF’s resident bitch boy, the Uncle Tom extraordinaire. SwagMire Swaggins.

This mother fucker is something else.

He runs his mouth

Non.

Fucking.

Stop.

Calls out everyone he can. Tries to make everyone look like a fucking asshole. And yet when someone calls him out, he shrivels up like a dick in the cold.

Cheat Lucena. A one hit wonder that had a little help in the form of XWF gimp Sid Feder. Cheat wins a US title, only to shit the bed and lose it to the aforementioned Masked Maggot Enigma.

But hey, at least Lucena held a legitament title, albeit for about 20 minutes. Unlike this Ark of the Covenenint title that is paraded around for the short bus crowd.

And yes SwagMire. It is called the Ark Title, no matter how much you want to try and make the Starbucks Title a thing it won't be. Ever. Keep passing it off to your new best buddy Dusty Wyatt. Maybe when you two are done you can jerk each off under the table.

.

But let's get back to SwagMire shall we?

He gets called out by the world’s greatest cheat and what does SwagMire do? Runs and hides like a little bitch.

A guy who has no problem interfering in other people’s matches doesn’t want to take part in an anything goes match?

Are you fucking kidding me SwagMire?

Sack up you fucking pussy.

Find a set of balls.

Sew them on and step in the ring with Cheat.

Or better yet. Fuck that.

Fuck him. He's off listening to Rosetta Stone trying desperately to learn this great language we call English. Don't worry about it Cheat. Peter Gilmour has made a career out of butchering the English language.

So SwagMire, how about you step into the ring with me?

You hear that SwagMire you punk bitch?

You and me.

One on one.

No special stipulations, since we all know you don’t play that game you little mary.

We’ll see if you are still running your mouth after I jam my mother fucking boot down your throat.

But don’t worry SwagMire, you aren’t the only bitch made pussy in this place.

In fact, you are just one of many.

Apparently some cunt named Tyrant Ex showed up thinking that he was going to win some matches because he shot a thousand promos that no one gave a fuck about.

He lost.

And instead of just taking his lose like a man he cried and cried and cried.

And now he’s gone.

Good riddance.

.

Pussy.

Just one more example of the kind of wrestlers this federation attracts.

You want a few more examples?

Zak Misery.

Dark Jay Rider.

Vincent Kane.

, the lot of them.

Anytime any one of these Twilight extra’s wants to step in the ring with me feel free to show your faces. The offer is out there.

You want a match? Fine. I’ll take on all three of you cunts at the same time if you want.

Actually, you know what?

I just came up with a better idea.

While I am fully confident that I could absolutely fucking destroy each and every one of you pussies in a 3 on 1 handicapped match I think what would be far more entertaining would be a nice 3 on 3 match.

The Heyman Alliance verses The Hot Topic Counter Monkeys?

What do you say

?

You in?

I’ll give you each a few days to respond before I jam a response down your throat.

We can do this on Madness or Warfare.

I could care less.

But don’t duck me.

Don’t you dare duck me.

Because I promise you this. You do that and what I do to you will pale in comparison to the beating you will most assuredly get in a match with me.

Clock is ticking. Bitches. Don’t keep me waiting. I am not a patient man, I will force a decision out of you.

Believe that.

This is just the beginning.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode One Bitch. Two Bitch. Three Bitch. More.
Author	Message