03-30-2014, 08:08 PM
"So, some new devolpments have happened since last I spoke. Apparently Mandii and Radio both cut a promo and we may have figured out the mystery opponent. I'll address all of those in time, but now is the era of Swagmire winning. Now is the era of the Swagmire, when he will walk into the ring a normal wrestler, and walk out either a champion, or a legend, maybe both. No one will look at the match as the time Radio or Mandii became a champ. And surely not Hank, "Can't stop licking little boy assholes" Lane, no they'll remember it as the time Swagmire walked into the ring, destroyed Lucena, then moved on to crush everyone they sent at him. If I happen to lose it will be in the last chamber after I left a trail of bodies behind me. Can you smell that? Can you, it's the smell of a massacre coming to Archie Lawson's door step. I hope he's prepared to clean this shit up.
Well, Archie, are you? Do you think you'll be trembling as you hand me my belt? You'd better fucking be, you limey ass bitch. You pushed me into this match because I wanted Radio to have a rematch against Lucena. You didn't like it so I mouthed off to you, and kept pushing and pushing. You thought you were funny pushing me into this, but guess what. It's only going to be funny for me, because I'm going to fucking destroy on Wednesday. Hell, I might even take the tag trios myself. Who's gonna stop me from doing that one, Arch? You? Your fat ass can't step in the ring with me, you said it yourself. Samuels? He'll be too busy sucking Theo's cock to do it. I took on 5 people at once, and still walked away. Not only that, but like I said before, I took out Laz and Griff.
Mandii and I already danced once, it didn't work in her favor, and she had people backing her. When it's one on one what makes you think she can stop me? There's no way she can stop me. Talk about drops in time, and not letting people die all you want, it won't help you. I'm not here to save lives, I'm not here to serve and protect, I'm here to crush bones and break spirits. I'm here to take little white hos and make them cry. Go on, get your friends to stop me, they won't be able to. Do yourself a favor, when you see me, lay down. Lay your weary head to rest, and don't you cry no more. Cause when I hit you, and I will hit you, you will go down, and you won't get up. I'm going to take you out of this match like I took Leda Coma out for cupcakes, in style. Hide your pretty little head, and I might keep that face pretty. Otherwise I'm ending it all.
Radio, stop talking about going home, you can't. Don't quit on us because you've lost a couple of times. Man and up and keep going. You beat once, so we know you can win. Be the man we bet on for the PPV, stand up and fight for real, or just don't show up. I'm not destroying some shell of a man, I'm going to fight the proper man himself. If you can't do me that as respect as a friend then give me the respect of just not showing up. I told you once if we go again I want it to be real, not you holding back or hiding out. Let's see your warface.
Brock Lesnar, everyone knows you're not going for the trios titles. You're a bitch. You left the UFC because you couldn't handle it. You couldn't handle the fact that in everyone of your matches you'd spend the first 30 minutes getting your ass kicked before you got to throw one good punch at someone. You're not getting that punch on me, and if you throw it, I'll dodge and throw one back at you. You lost to McBride. That was your last match, McBride. Congrats, you lost to the resident jobber. He can't win a match to save his life, and he beat you? Fucking joke. Get Dana White to talk about you somemore, it's cute when you get people to try and hype you up. Is it because if you pay more people to talk about you you actually believe you have a chance? You're not a beast, you're not a monster, you're a worthless cum stain on Hogan's socks. You're an eye growing on Shane's abandoned potato. Your entire career is a joke. How many matches did you have in the UFC before you decided to quit because Overeem hit you in the tummy? That's right, for those who did not know, Lesnar left the UFC because he got hit in the tummy. Bitch, I'll hit you in the stomach again.
Moving on, in case it's not Lesnar, it might be Engima. What can we say about Engima? His debut was also a shot at the XTreme Title, and then you participated in the Terminal Velocity. We know how that one worked out, eh? We won't talk about that, don't worry, you did fine. Not everyone can win. But seriously, what can I say? I honestly don't pay attention to a thing you say or do. You bore me, that's why. I find you to be an extremtly boring person. If you were to come up and try and tell me stories I'd fake a heart attack to get away from you. Wanna torture me for life? Tie me up and force me to listen to you for a while. I would actually work on making my heart stop beating, or making myself go deaf. You are without a doubt the most boring person here. Seriously. I bet you don't have many friends because of how fucking inane and boring you are.
Boo fucking hoo your momma slept with someone besides the man who raised you. It happens to a lot of people, you deal with it and move on. I can't talk about you any more, even thinking about you is too fucking boring.
Actully, no. I'm done for now. The thought of Enigma has bored me so much that I now have to shove my dick in an electric socket just to get some feeling back in my life. Later bitches."
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